worship Him always, all-ways

a short story just doesn't contain it all

2011-07-20T08:33:00.002-04:00

so about a year ago, i was randomly shopping at a local retail store. i wasn't finding much, but i had a gift-certificate-type-of-thingy that needed to be used, so i searched deeper for meaningless trinkets and/or doo-dads.

until...

from the back of the store, i hear a crash and a cry of pain followed by moaning.

realizing this wasn't the season to purchase halloween soundtracks (let alone, the completely wrong store to find that kind of stuff), i went to investigate. one of the store clerks had been changing light bulbs and fell off a ladder--about 15 ft.

so, i began to talk to him to see if he was OK--even though by the shape of his leg, he was not.

first things first: "sir, may i pray for you?" (this had double purpose: prayer, of course, is the best thing, but it also got him talking so that he wouldn't pass out). i don't really remember what i said in the prayer, but God heard it and answered it.

the sum total of my first aid knowledge has come from watching too much tv, so we called 911, applied a cool, wet paper towel to his forehead and kept him talking until the emts showed up.

during the conversation, i got to know don pretty well. married, recoverd alcholic, member of his church choir. and he said he had one last vice--chewing tobacco.

again, merely as a means of keeping him conscious, i asked him what it would take to give it up, especially since he'd already overcome alcohol. he admitted that he didn't have a good answer for that.

within a few moments, the paramedics arrived and i got out of their way to let them to what they are trained to do. let me add quickly, thank you to all who serve in emergency services.

that's about the end of the story. a couple days later, i called the store and asked about him. he'd broken both legs and was in for a long road to recovery.

i often drive past that store and would continue to pray for don over the course of the year. that is until about a week ago. as i drove past, i felt a need to call the store and see if there was an update. it didn't even cross my mind that it was coming up on the anniversary.

...but i forgot.

...but then God reminded me by way of a friend that use to go to church here that had worked at that store during the Christmas rush. "he's looking for you to say 'thanks'."

...and then i get a phone call in the office from him! he'd searched and found me and wanted to say thanks.

i got an update that he is walking again, though he still lacks stamina. that'll be the next goal for physical therapy.

and the whole point of this post, and a short story just doesn't contain all the mighty works of God herein, is a couple of insignificant details that led to major milestones.

first, he told me that he felt like he was about to go into shock--until i prayed and at the moment of "amen" all pain was gone. secondly, he reminded me that i asked him about his habit of tobacco (which i had forgotten) and informed me that he hasn't chewed since.

none of the credit goes to me for praying nor to don for his determination to walk again. all the glory goes to God for the way that He heals and confirms His presence, let alone His existence whenever we look for Him.

thank You, Lord...yup, that pretty much sums it up.

100 songs every kid needs to know

2011-05-11T09:28:00.002-04:00

when my oldest son turned 4, i burned a disk of songs for the family to enjoy singing together. it included quite a diverse playlist: showtunes, folk songs, bible songs, christmas songs and the like. it wasn't about a theme; it's just about singing in the car--a favorite family activity.
now that my youngest son is coming upon a birthday, i thought i'd make a new disk for him as well. (i feel compelled to point out how much we like gifts that can be shared by the whole family.) as i began to peruse and decide upon songs to be included, it led me to compile this master list of 100 songs that every kid needs to know.
i don't have any criteria or preconceived notions of what ought to be on there...or at least i didn't when i began. i wasn't looking just for songs from my memory of youth, i wanted good songs. quality is important.
the age of the song didn't really matter to me. if the latest songs are among the greatests songs, i'm happy to include them. but i always have a soft-spot in my heart for enduring music. some songs are great because they have stood the test of time, but some songs have stood the test of time simply because they are great. (and i should mention that some songs should retain their historicity--they are teaching moments!)
despite being for children, i didn't necessarily care if the renditions i found were of children singing. again with the concept of enduring, i want to expose my kids to great artists: bing crosby, frank sinatra, bill gaither, etc. as a music instructor, it sometimes pains me that upcoming musicians have, what i consider to be, some gaps in their exposure. who determines this, i don't know. it's another post for another blog on another day.
genre was another facet to consider, though this falls under some previous categories mentioned. i didn't want only sacred songs; i didn't want only inspirational songs. i want pop and rock and r&b and classical and standards and...and...and...diversity and eccelectism inspire me.
one overriding theme i see as i look at the titles i've compiled so far: encouragement. the lyrics have positive messages in them. even if they are silly lyrics (such as 'mairzy doats'), there is strength in the message. in the same line with encouragement is responsibility: there are songs that every citizen are responsible to know. (how embarrassing are 'national anthem' lyric snafus?)

so, you can see where i'm coming from. but you won't yet see where it's going--i haven't compiled my final list. feel free to post and respond with ideas and suggestions.

Lord of Creation, thank You for the gift of music. may we be responsible with the sounds with which you have entrusted us. thank You also for my wonderful children--a gift so undeserved. i am blessed.
1. Alphabet song
2. Awesome God
3. Bare necessities
4. B-I-B-L-E
5. Father Abraham
6. Give a little whistle
7. God bless America
8. Have patience (from music machine)
9. I got rhythm
10. I love to laugh (from mary poppins)
11. If I had a hammer
12. If you’re happy and you know it
13. In the garden
14. Inka-dinka-doo
15. Let a smile be your umbrella
16. Mairzy doats
17. Oh how he loves you and me
18. Oh susanna
19. Oh what a beautiful morning (from Oklahoma)
20. Old macdonald
21. Over the rainbow (from wizard of oz)
22. Puff, the magic dragon
23. Rocky top
24. Seventy-six trombones
25. Sing (as recorded by the carpenters)
26. Singin’ in the rain
27. Star-spangled banner
28. Take me out to the ballgame
29. This little light of mine
30. Together wherever we go
31. Tomorrow (from annie)
32. Trading my sorrows
33. Twinkle, twinkle little star
34. Victory in jesus
35. What a wonderful world
36. YMCA
37. You are my sunshine
38. Zaccheus was a wee little man

stay tuned for more development!

humbling

2011-04-29T10:20:00.002-04:00

those that know me, know that we've adopted three times, sort of.

the oldest one never filed any formal paperwork, but she's ours and we love her equally (even though she's driving me crazy, crazy, crazy!). the younger two are both technically, officially, openly adopted.

here's something you may not know about our adoptions: we have openness with birthfamilies.

i don't ask that any of you try to understand the "what" or "why" of open adoption. all i can say is that for us, it was the right thing to do. if we adopt again, we may not have openness, but for now, we know we are blessed because of it.

anyway, i only mention that to set the ground work to tell you about my humbling experience.

part of our openness is to write semi-frequently. i suppose many would say that we correspond often once you hear how many times we write each month, but compared to my mother who was a letter-writing machine, we'll leave it at "semi-frequently".

also, in our openness, we get together. this is not as often, but that's merely a logistical thing--to schedule two families and traveling isn't always easy nor convenient with life's busy-ness.

however, at our last visit with son #1's birthmother, she asked if we were going to adopt again. we don't really have secrets from her, so we were open and told her yes. we definately want to adopt again. our boys are praying "for more babies to come to our family, another boy and a little girl." we told her a little about or financial planning to be able to afford the process again.

as we do with everyone that asks us, we told her, with a grin, she could recruit for us--that if she knew of someone facing a choice of creating an adoption plan for their baby, then we could make it work out to connect with them. realistically, this could save us considerable amounts of money, because no agencies would have to be involved. it's not about the cost, but it's certainly a consideration.

well, that's the backstory. now for the humilty.

we got a letter from her yesterday. it always brightens our day to hear from her. my wife and i tease each other over who gets to read it first (she beat me this time).

i couldn't believe when i read it that she told us that she was actually talking to pregnant women about us! she not only "brags" about us and our son (she knows and is very careful to not call him her son. we respect her deeply for that.), but she has come to a place of healing that allows her to move past the guilt to a place of helping others experience peace.

i suppose she'll always have regret--not regret for her choice, but for the life choices that forced her situation to require such a choice. but peace has come to her heart.

as an adoptive parent, i can't imagine a higher praise than for a birth family to work for you to bring healing to others. this is a tangled web of weirdness, and yet there is peace and trust and, above all, love.

dear Lord, please bring more babies to our family, another boy and a little girl. and please continue to bring peace and healing through her (You know her name and hold her close). and not just for the blessing of my son, but more so for the relationship with her, we thank you for bringing her into our lives. she is a remarkable woman and she has a divine calling on her life. for any woman and/or man that is facing a choice, i pray for your peace and guidance on them, even if...especially if they don't believe in You.

and Lord, let me be your vessel to bring healing and peace wherever you plant me.

simple joys

2011-03-28T07:16:00.002-04:00

some highlights from my weekend away. i call them simple joys.

access to better quality exercise equipment than i have at home made exercise less of a drudgery.

i saw john kerry.

conversations with students

pizzaria due (it's pizzaria uno, the sequel)

shopping in chicago

amazing adjudication at purdue (and their choirs are pretty amazing)

naps on the bus!

coming home

even though the boys were more than an hour past bedtime, it was glad to see them and give them their presents

that is not all, and is, in no way, a prioritized list. but, with a smile on my face i look to the past with a smile (and hope to get more sleep very soon).

stomping grounds

2011-03-24T08:14:00.003-04:00

this afternoon i get to travel homeward...well, sort of.
i get to accompany (in two ways) a local high school choir to a competition held very near where i went to high school. i'm very excited!
shortly after i left for college (august 1992), my parents moved away from the region and so i don't have many opportunities to return. i won't get to do much outside of the planned agenda for the long weekend, but still, it'll be fun to stomp the old grounds.

(the two ways of accompanying are as tour chaperone and as pianist.)

dichotomy

2011-03-23T07:22:00.002-04:00

dichotomy is one of my favorite words. i could spend a lot of time explaining why; i could draw comparisons and the like to demonstrate why i like the word so much. here's my reason of the day.
my blog presents an interesting dichotomy. well, at least it's interesting enough to me to write about it, but it's probably not actually interesting at all.

my blog has always been my place to unleash my thoughts. because there are no rules of blogging, i tend to just throw it all out there and see what rises to the top. it's cathartic to look for trends and patterns in my life.
and yet, it keeps me centered because of the notion of who might read it. that is, it keeps my integrity in check, shaping me to write honestly, with integrity instead of bad-mouthing, bashing, etc. words in general are powerful to build-up or tear-down. my blog forces responsibility with words. and it is my conviction that even when correcting and rebuking, we can do it in a manner that builds up.

and thus the two sides of my dichotomy. i need to unleash my thoughts. i have a great tool at my disposal that can help me sort through the stuff, the muck. but just like grace, the tool's potential is worthless unless it is put to work.
on the other hand, i'm not sure that i want to be responsible with my words. the issue is deeply personal to me and involves as person in my life. i don't know if that person ever reads my blog or not. if they didn't, i could just tear them down as anonymous and i think i'd feel good for the moment. but if they were to read my words, would they be built-up or torn-down?

another strand of my web is that now that i have posted this, many in my life will become self-conscious. they'll develope a judas-complex: "surely, not i!" which is not the point.
i question whether i should write about it at all.
but that leads to my first point: this could be a great tool for me to sort through my thoughts--which desperately needs to happen.

Lord, let my words be from you at all times whether they come from my mouth or my fingers.

2011-03-15T07:15:00.001-04:00

it's amazing the difference one feels when exercising and eating properly. it's so hard to break out of the old routine and establish new ones, but man, it is worth it!

2011-03-10T12:31:00.002-05:00

i wasn't going to post today. i just wasn't in the mood.
this is how my day started...(actually, it started yesterday).

i woke up with a headache yesterday. that's not uncommon for me, but it's a hassle nonetheless. often these things go away as i get moving for the day. and since i didn't have to work yesterday, i wasn't too worried about it. i was home with the boys and had a great day of nothingness planned.
but, my headache dropped. it fell out of my head and lowered itself into my neck and shoulders--aka "achy". you know that feeling! for me, it usually marks the beginning of the flu.
and then it happened, i sneezed and that triggered my throat to hurt. oh crap, i hate being sick on my day off.
but, the boys were delightful yesterday. they played so well together all day. they ate a good lunch and took good naps. it was a perfect day except for that whole sick thing.
...though i did notice that son #1 was not listening to me.
actually, i realized he couldn't hear me very well and with a sore throat, we were quite a pair: i couldn't talk and he could hear me anyway.
i should qualify that i had all the symptoms that israel should have had. he didn't have any symptoms, except for the hearing-loss.
i woke today not feeling much better, but kept israel with me so that i could try and get him into the pediatrician's office.
guess what? double ear infection! no wonder he could hear me. but, the dr. actually said, "these are so infected, i'm surprized it didn't wake him up during the night." (cue the "failure as a parent" theme song).
so, as you can see, blogging just didn't rank very high on my priorities today.
but, when i finally got a chance to sign into facebook, my perspective and priorities changed. drastically.
for you see, my friend from college is finally getting a donor liver. he's been waiting for a while and today is the day. he is a father of four and devoted husband. he is one of cincinnati's finest, a police officer. and i've been praying for the family for a long time, so i'm so excited for this answer to their prayers.

but, it made my puny headache and my son's double ear infection seem so much less significant. don't get me wrong: i still need healing, as does israel. but less pity for me and more prayer for God to shake the lives of those around me.

2011-03-08T10:45:00.002-05:00

today was a better day for the treadmill because...
it's still facing a wall, but it's nearer the TV, so i can watch and walk (which lets you know how to time the walk).
i got up early enough to do it
i had an unusual schedule this morning, so i was able to get up and go the distance, eat breakfast and then do it a second time.

small steps, people. that's what it takes.

2011-03-07T07:40:00.002-05:00

so, here's the spring break dilemma:
do you use the time off to catch up/work ahead or do you actually enjoy a break?
i'm not sure how my calendar will reflect it, but i really want to just enjoy a break.
...and then i feel guilty for wasteing time.
...and then i smile broadly because this is the hardest decision i have to make this week. i am blessed.

2011-03-06T05:37:00.002-05:00

not a good weekend for treadmilling...
rather, it was a perfect weekend to treadmil: rainy, windy, chilly, etc.
i just did't make it on the beast.
but, it's a new dawn of a new day in a new week. overcoming is about taking one step at a time. like a treadmill, you sometimes feel like you're stepping and stepping and not going anywhere. but often times, the destination is not as important as the journey and what you "get" from it is not nearly as important as what you put into it.

2011-03-04T09:07:00.003-05:00

day two of treadmill was a little better.
i learned two things about myself today:
first, i have a phobia of falling off the back of the treadmill if i lengthen my stride (long-legged people are like that).
second, i've got to find some appropriate workout music. the shuffle on my zune just ain't cutting it.

2011-03-03T08:43:00.002-05:00

day one of treadmill did not go as well as planned. the fact that i was facing a wall instead of the wide-open road was probably part of the problem...at least that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

2011-02-28T06:53:00.003-05:00

i haven't been in a very write-y mood of late. in fact, i see that it's been 6 months since i entered anything here in the blog. then today i woke up a little early and couldn't get back to sleep--which isn't such a big deal, it was only about 30 minutes before the alarm, so i decided to get up and do some wii exercise.
i logged into my wiifit user and what'dya know? it's been about 6 months since i wii'd. i'm seeing a trend here.
and apparently, since it's been 6 months since the wii was used, it needed new batteries...so i fought with that for a bit.
in the end, i never did get to the exercise part, but i did weigh in. um...yeah... that's gotta change.
for my loyal readers, all 4 of you (my own mother nor wife actually read this), i want to remind you that this blog is for me, not you. i'm not here to dispel great insight or knowledge. i blog to collect my thoughts and to throw them out there so that people can respond if they want to.
well, despite it all, i don't have a game plan. i don't know what i'm going to do about it. i'm not going to crash diet, but likely, if someone offered me poor quality cookies, i'd eat too many.
and in case you haven't figured it out yet, while my up-scale is my point of view, i am fully aware that things in my heart and head aren't quite right. that's what actually needs to change.

dear Jesus, i need your help to...well, i'm not sure what i need to do, but i rely on you.

2010-07-07T09:16:00.000-04:00

a day off?
i survived it, all by myself.

2010-07-02T08:47:00.001-04:00

it's amazing how refreshed you feel after a good night's sleep.
i know there are lots of reasons and ways to sleep poorly, but when it works it's amazing.

thank You, God, for the rest You promised. i needed it, but You already knew that.

2010-07-01T12:03:00.002-04:00

i hate it when 30 minute meetings take 75 minutes.
i hate it when you ask my opinion, but don't want it.
i hate it when you expect me to pick up your slack, last minute, again.

i realize that's a lot of hate out there in the universe now, but my blog is my pressure valve and then i'll be done with it. it balances out eventually.

didn't know it

2010-06-30T09:02:00.003-04:00

on those occasions when, in conversation, some one rhymes, we always say, "you're a poet and didn't know it." but i much prefer the occaions when i'm speaking and something comes out of mouth that is profound. there's something about the dynamic of saying it outloud that often condenses all the thoughts and it clicks, it makes sense.
i'm on an adventure these days.
i'm not going to tell you all the details because they're really not the point right now. someday i may tell you about it, but maybe not (and you'll just have to deal with the lack of info).
anyway, i was talking to someone about a particular harbor in this voyage--an opportunity. i was tell this person about the chain of events that led to this opportunity and i said it. IT.
"i don't what will come of this. i'm not a fatalist that says 'what will be, will be'. but God has brought me to this place. it's so clear to me that He's leading this. even if doesn't happen, i'm going to learn from this. that's very exciting and motivates to go for it."
my revelation was not that God was leading--i'm very aware of that (i couldn't handle this life without Him). my revelation was that regardless of the outcome, i'm learning from it.
in my prior post, i made a point about Romans 8:28 as we see it in the life of moses (i'm mixing testaments, i know). just because we live according to Romans 8:28 doesn't mean that life is always easy, breezy. to quote myself, "like any responsible parent, God does what is best for his children whether or not it brings comfortable scenarios".
it makes sense to me now. whether or not i reach the goal, i am called to reach for the goal. pass or fail aren't the point of it--to quest, to strive, to glorify God along the journey--that's the point of it all.
"now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. for God will bring every deed into judgement, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil." Ecclesiastes 12:13, 14

2010-06-28T08:59:00.001-04:00

Romans 8:28 “We know that God works for the good of those that love Him, are called His people and live according to His purpose for them.”
We have to make sure we’re on the same page regarding Romans 8:28 before we get to any ancient history today because we need to look beyond the story to the condition of the heart in these ancient lives.
People are notorious for placing periods in the wrong place of a sentence.
• “We know that God works for the good.” Just watch the evening news and you’ll see that this is just plain bad theology. Not all things are good.
• “We know that God works for the good of those that love Him.” This gives us a slightly more accurate picture, but it is, at best, incomplete.
• God works for the good of people that meet all three criteria:
o They love Him.
o They are called (identified or labeled) His people
o They live according to His purpose for them.—this is the one that disqualifies too many. We love the Lord and we are labeled as His people, but we are not living according to His purposes for us.
Every person we’ve studied so far was recorded in Genesis. Today we begin in Exodus with Moses. Actually, we’re going to cover all of Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy—those books are entirely about Moses. That certainly will make it difficult to fit the entire life into one story. I mean it took Charlton Heston 3 hours and 45 minutes and he didn’t even cover everything!
Well, here it goes…
and we should qualify that The Ten Commandments is much loved, but not completely accurate according to scripture. Just keep in mind that the images you recall of Charlton Heston & Yul Brenner (with that funky ponytail) are not necessarily scriptural.
As the Israelite in Egypt population grew, Pharaoh (which is a title, not a proper name) begins to take steps toward limiting their presence in Egypt. He is afraid the Habiru will join forces with the enemies of Egypt.
So first, Pharaoh places supervisors over all the Israelite workers. The Israelites as “slaves” is more comparable to the idea of a mortgage or loan. In, basically, a cash-less society, labor was a way to repay debt. “I’ll gladly work for you on Tuesday for a hamburger today.”
It wasn’t that the Israelites were unwelcomed in Egypt, but they spoke a different language and had different customs. They were good workers, but you wouldn’t want you daughter to date one.
Hence, the supervision. Pharaoh had people that were his eyes and ears among the Israelites. Watching and listening to find out if there was any indication that they would revolt.
But, the harder Pharaoh pushed them, the more blessed they were. For even in slavery, God was working good for those that loved Him, that bore His name and lived according to His purpose for them. The bounty of the Israelites just proves the old saying, “the rich get richer and the poor get children.”
So Pharaoh has to move to more drastic measures of crowd control, and he orders all boy babies born to Israelites are be killed immediately.
However, the Egyptian midwives feared God and they allowed all the children to live. When Pharaoh asked them about this, they answered, “These Hebrew women are just so healthy and sturdy that the babies come out so fast we don’t arrive in time!”
Pharaoh changes his tactics again. He orders all boy babies to be thrown into the Nile River.
Well, along comes one particular baby boy. The baby is recognized to be no ordinary child. The bible says he was “fair in the sight of God”. His mother hid him from the judgment of Pharaoh for 3 months, but eventually she succumbed to the ruling and threw the baby in the Nile River. Well, technically, she placed him in a watertight basket and gently placed him to float along the riverbank in the softness of the plants growing there. And, she sent the baby’s older sister to follow the basket and see what happened.
Both his father and mother are mentioned to be descendants of Levi. It’s important to note that because Levi’s descendants become the line of priests, and the fellow we eventually come to know as this baby’s brother will be the first “official” priest of the Israelites.
So, here’s a relevant truth: no matter your background, the things in your past—the good, the bad or the ugly—God wants to use it for His purposes.
• Who better to help break the chains of addictions than those who have won the battle?
• Who better to help victims of divorce than those He has delivered from it?
• Who better to model the positive effects of sexual purity than those who have lived it?
God did not make you go through it, but He delivered you from it for a purpose.
Here’s some Egyptian irony. The baby’s basket is discovered in the river by none other than Pharaoh’s own daughter. The baby was crying and she starts to feel all motherly toward him even though she recognizes him as a Hebrew baby.
Now, how would she recognize a Hebrew baby? Hmmm… Oh yeah, the covenant of circumcision.
She claims the baby as her own, and sends a nearby slave girl to find a Hebrew woman to nurse the baby. The slave girl was the sister sent to watch the basket case. She retrieves the baby’s own mother to be the nursemaid.
How convenient is that? God is working for the good. The baby is safe from Pharaoh’s ruling because he is presumed to be Egyptian, and Pharaoh’s not going to turn on his own daughter.
The boy is named Moses, which is an Egyptian name bearing similarity to a Hebrew word meaning bring out. Talk about a name representing who you are: It’s both Egyptian and Hebrew and foreshadows his purpose in life.
No place does the Bible identify the moment when Moses was aware of his true heritage. But, Scripture indicates the Moses had to choose his future: Hebrew or Egyptian?
An Egyptian future would certainly have looked appealing—luxuries, power, affluence, cushy-ness.
A Hebrew future would be at best, laborious and uncertain.
We must understand that the things that are “good”, according to God’s presence in our lives, are not necessarily “things” at all. Like any responsible parent, God does what is best for His children whether or not it creates comfortable scenarios. Just because we love Him, bear His name and live according to His purpose doesn’t mean life is always easy breezy.
Which future will you choose? Will you choose instant gratification or the eternal reward?
Moses is walking among the Israelites one night and he sees an Egyptian beating a Hebrew. He looks right; he looks left. Observing no witnesses, he kills the Egyptian for the unfair treatment of another human being. He hides the body in the sand.
The next day, he’s walking around again and this time sees two Hebrews beating each other. “Isn’t there enough hardship without you beating your own people?”
“Um, who died and made you King of Egypt? Are you going to kill me like you killed the Egyptian yesterday?”
Moses is busted and busted on a grand scale because word of this gets to Pharaoh himself who tries to kill Moses. So, he high-tails it out into the desert and sits in a local watering hole in Midian.
Seven sisters come to the watering hole to water their father’s flocks. But there were whippersnappers that teased the girls and drove them away. We begin to see a pattern of Moses as a buttinski, because once again he steps in a matter not of his concern and sends the boys packing. He proceeds to draw water for the girls and the flocks.
The girls run home and tell their dad of the events of the day. Jethro, the girls’ father, must have been Italian for after hearing their story, he says, “Where is he? Did you invite him to eat?”
Moses spends about 40 years with the family, marrying one of the daughters and having two children. Somewhere during that time, the Pharaoh that wanted Moses dead, dies.
The new Pharaoh (presumably Moses’ adoptive brother or at least a cousin) has made the oppression even worse and the Israelites cry out to God. The Bible says that God heard their crying and remembered his covenant with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and is now ready to do something about it.
Here’s a relevant truth: God hears us when we call to Him. There’s a lot of conjecture about how God answers our prayers, but really, that’s not the important part of the equation.
We need to cry out to God. Period.
No, we need to cry out to God—exclamation point! Prayer is a significant part of his purpose for us. If you’re prayer life is lacking, you’ve no reason to expect good things for you are not living according to his purpose.
Moses is tending the flocks of his father-in-law one day, he sees an unusual sight—a bush is in flames, but not being consumed. In my NIV study Bible, the title heading even says “Moses and the burning bush”, but then text says, “Moses saw that the bush was on fire, but it did not burn up.”
Then, on top of this hot mess, there is a voice…“Moses…”
These are the moments in the lives of these characters of which I am most jealous: I want God to talk to me in an audible voice. Well, maybe He is, but I’m not listening very good.
“Take your shoes off Moses, because my presence in this place has made it holy. I’m not just any god or an apparition, but I am the God of your true fathers: Abraham, Isaac & Jacob.”
Moses is overwhelmed and he covered his face because he was afraid to see the face of God.
God goes on to say He has heard the cries of His people in Egypt and is ready to deliver on His promise. “Moses, I created you for a purpose—and that purpose is to be the leader of the Israelites. You are the one designed to lead them out of Egypt to the Promised Land.”
Here’s a relevant truth, though I hope you’ve noticed it already: You were created for a purpose. God has especially crafted you—your personality, your past, your passions, your training and special skills, everything that sums up YOU—crafted for His purpose.
The dialogue between Moses and God continues with Moses making excuses—he doesn’t want to own up to his purpose—and then God shoots down every one.
Moses tries to get out of it and God delivers miracles of confirmation such as turning Moses walking stick into a snake and then back to a stick again and giving Moses a horrific skin disease and then healing it.
Moses says he can’t talk so good and God says, “You won’t have to. For, by the way, you have a brother named Aaron who is on his way to meet you. He’s eloquent and will speak on your behalf.”
So Moses leaves his wife and children with his father-in-law so he can meet his brother for the first time ever. Moses tells Aaron everything God has said, shown and confirmed regarding this whole ordeal. Aaron takes Moses to meet the Israelite leaders in Egypt and they recount the whole thing again. Not just one, but three levels of confirmation.
That’s a relevant truth: God will confirm His purpose for you. Some people have an idea and they run without confirmation. Some people keep hearing the same truths from saints and sinners alike, but hesitate. Confirmation leads to action.
Moses and Aaron go to Pharaoh for what is the first of several visits. “Let my people go!”
Pharaoh asks, “Who is your God that I should listen to him?” Keep in mind that Egyptian beliefs held that Pharaoh was divine—a king and a god. To hear this from Moses and Aaron was to deny Pharaoh as both.
And as a way to flex his powers, Pharaoh orders that the slaves maintain their quota of daily work, but they must also begin to acquire their own supplies for the work. This pill is not easily swallowed by the Israelites, nor by Moses—all of them complain to God.
But God explains to Moses that this whole experience will be a display of the power of God Almighty, a demonstration of how God work good in their lives! And Moses resumes his excuses.
Exodus 7-11 tells about the events that are most spectacular in our human vision. Not since Creation have we seen miracles of this magnitude. And though we’ve seen miracles for other purposes, this is the first time in Scripture that we see God showing off, that is, demonstrating His power.
First, Aaron’s walking stick (an actual dead branch and not the bug) becomes a snake!
Next, the entire Nile River was turned from water to blood. The Scripture indicates that every drop of water drawn from the river was also turned to blood, meaning that water in jars or pools or whatever, also turned to blood.
And just for perspective, the Nile is the longest river in the world. It’s basin covers nearly 10% of the continent of Africa. It flows at a rate of 58,752,000,000 gallons per day. Hoxworth couldn’t handle it.
The next plague on Egypt was frogs. Scripture says that the Nile River (remember its immensity) will “burst at its seams with frogs”. That’s a lot of ribbit!
That is followed by a plague of gnats. Noseeums—those little bugs that you hear and feel, but can’t see and irritate you to the point of insanity. Imagine enough of them to be categorized as a “plague”.
Then comes flies.
Then all of the Egyptian livestock dies—not the Israelite’s livestock, just the Egyptian livestock.
Then there are boils on all the Egyptian men and the remaining animals. Boils, for those who don’t know, are a staph infection that causes a knot to form in the skin. They are very painful, oozing sores, about an inch in size. The Egyptians had them head to toe.
Next is a hailstorm. Many of us have experienced the damage caused by hail. And we need to keep in mind that all of these plagues were nation-wide. The entire nation of Egypt, which was significantly larger than the modern day country of Egypt, was affected by these curses—nearly half a million square miles of curse.
You think Cincinnati Cicadas are bad? Try a plague of Egyptian locust. They came after the hail.
Then darkness came over the land. And this is not just a simple power outage—the sun actually stopped shining, but only in the places where the Egyptians lived. The Israelites in the same area had plenty of sunlight. How is that possible? Oh…it’s a miracle.
Think about Pharaoh’s perspective. If he endures these plagues, he and his entire nation suffer (though the Israelites are conspicuously not being plagued). If he relents, then he loses credibility with his people, for he is supposed to be a king and a deity—an entire government and belief system crumbled. He has no way to win and God has no way to lose.
Through all of these plagues, Pharaoh has been back and forth.
• “Go ahead and leave.”
• “No, I changed my mind.”
• “Take your people and go.”
• “Just kidding, you have to stay.”
But after the final plague when Regis asked if it was his final answer, Pharaoh was sure.
God tells Moses that He is going to kill every first born and it doesn’t matter if it is Egyptian or Israelite—the first child born to any household will die unless they know the secret handshake.
Well, actually the Israelites were to smear lamb’s blood on the frames of their front doors so that while God is out-and-about smiting said first-borns, He’ll leave those houses alone and will pass over them.
This provides a profound confirmation of the truth of Romans 8:28. It’s not enough to love the Lord or have His name on you—you have to live according to His purpose. That means obedience. Even Israelite homes that did not have the blood of the lamb on their doorframes lost their firstborn. It’s not enough to be one of God’s children—we must be obedient children!
I can’t let this point go without at least a brief mention of Passover. For thousands of years, the Jews have celebrated Passover—a time to remember this event: what God did in Egypt, specifically, exemption from death
As Christians, we celebrate weekly our own type of Passover—a remembrance of what Christ did. When the blood of Jesus, the Passover Lamb , is applied to our lives, we are also exempt from death—spiritual death.
Passover is now not just a historical event, it is a way of life that confirms the truth of Romans 8:28.
And of course, God was true to His word—all the first-born died (except those marked by the blood of the lamb). And as you can imagine, this affects Pharaoh in a deeply personal way with the death of his own son, so he sends a message to Moses to take the Israelites and leave.
The Israelites packed and left so quickly that they didn’t have time to put any yeast in their bread.
Yeast-less bread (or unleavened bread) is standard for the observance of Passover. Jesus was observing Passover in the Upper Room with the disciples on the night He was arrested. By extension, we know that He served yeast-less bread on the night He established communion. So that’s what we use most of the time.
It’s not a command for Christians to commune with unleavened bread, but it is supposed to point us back to these events in history—ancient history, relevant truth. Perhaps even today as you take a piece of cracker when the tray is passed to you, you’ll be more aware of this great history—the history of God working His good for those that love Him, bear His name and live according to His purpose for them.
Estimates of the population are about 600,000 men. When you add women and children the estimates jump to as high as 5 million—just picture metropolitan Cincinnati and Suburbs picking up and walking out one day.
Since there were no maps to the Promised Land, God places a pillar of cloud in the sky during the day and a pillar of fire in the sky at night to lead the way.
Once they’re gone, there are some significant gaps in the society and economy of Egypt, so Pharaoh changes his mind again and tries to recall the Israelites to Egypt.
Perhaps you’ve seen a map of the Red Sea, but the top of it forms two fingers. Pharaoh is a sound military leader, he traps the Israelites against the fingers of the Red Sea. He thinks he’s got them between a rock and hard place, or at least a wet place.
But we know that God works His best for those that love Him, that bear His name and are living according to His purpose. God provides a way of escape, even when it looks impossible—that’s a relevant truth. You’ve heard of split-pea soup? Well, here’s the split sea poop: God split the sea in half and the Israelites walked across on dry ground. Pharaoh and his troops tried to follow, but his plans were a wash out.
Now you would think that after witnessing all of these phenomenal, catastrophic and colossal demonstrations of the power of Almighty God that Moses and the Israelites would be changed forever. However, we see in them the same patterns we see in ourselves. Instead of staying on the mountaintops, we wander back to the valleys. Or as the Proverbs and Peter both say, “a dog returns to its vomit.”
The Israelites begin to complain and long for “the good old days of slavery in Egypt”. So, more miracles. God makes a rock leak water. He provides quail for eating. He gives manna. Manna and quail were to be collected every day with just enough for that day (extra to be set aside for the weekly day of rest). If anyone took extra, it was rotten the next day and had to be thrown out. We’re not exactly sure what manna is…but, Jesus himself called it bread, so I’ll call it bread. In fact, Jesus makes a passing reference to manna in the Lord’s prayer: give us this day our…daily bread.
In Numbers chapter 20 we see what happens when you don’t live according to God’s purposes. The Israelites are bemoaning a lack of water, so Moses goes before the Lord on their behalf. God tells him to provide enough water for all the people and livestock—however, God goes on to say that because Moses did not honor God as holy in the sight of the Israelites, he would not enter the Promised Land.
I’ll say it again: we must live according to His purpose for us. We have grace for when we screw up, but there is no grace for those that don’t even try.
You might remember that back before all the hubbub in Egypt, Moses had left his wife and two boys with her father because of the uncertainty of the situation with Pharaoh. Finally, they are reunited along with Moses’ father-in-law, Jethro.
Now, the people had been coming to Moses with their disputes so that he could pass along God’s will to them. But Jethro sees the wear on Moses that this is causing. Jethro gives great advice—“You can’t do it all by yourself. You need help!”
That’s some relevant truth and good advice for us as well.
Jethro advises Moses to set up a judicial system that lets other trusted leaders handle the simpler cases. If they can’t handle the case, only then is it brought to Moses. Does this sound familiar? It’s the model upon which our own American legal system is based. And then to help keep God’s laws straight, Moses climbs Mt. Sinai where God gives His word: the 10 suggestions, the 10 “if you feel like it”s—no, wait, they are in fact commandments. And they are…set in stone. And to make sure you know what they are, let me go through them quickly.
1. There is only one God and He ain’t you.
2. Don’t worship any other thing. When in doubt, refer to commandment #1
3. Don’t say God’s name unless you’re talking to Him.
4. A weekly day of rest is a command, not just a good idea.
5. Honor your father and mother
6. The Word of God says there is a time to kill, but never a time to murder
7. Never have sex with someone besides your spouse
8. If it ain’t yours, don’t take it.
9. don’t be a deceiver, either by lying or implying or omitting or any means…
10. don’t try to keep up with the Joneses.
Once he comes down from the mountain, Moses sets down other laws for the people to live by. There are regulations on building the Tabernacle—a tent that would be the worship place for the Israelites—and rules for building all the things that go in it, like the Ark of the Covenant (you know…that thing that Indiana Jones rescued from the Nazis). There are policies on what the priests should wear. All of these rules, regulations and policies are extremely explicit and detailed. The bulk of Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy are the details of this system—a system we’ve come to know as Mosaic law.
And after all these laws, the Israelites forgot commandment #1—there is only one God. We see that they have collected jewelry and formed it into a statue that looks like yellow veal, a golden calf. Moses freaks out and burns the darn thing. Aaron says to him, “Don’t be angry, you know how prone these people are to evil”. Well, aren’t we all?
Deuteronomy 34 has Moses climbing to the top of Mt. Nebo where to him, God points out all the places that are the promised land of the Israelites. “This is the land I promised to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. But as I said, you will not enter it.”
Moses died on that mountain and God himself buried him. The text specifically says that’s why to this day no one knows where his grave is.
Deuteronomy 34:10-12 “Since then, no prophet has risen in Israel like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face, who did all those miraculous signs and wonders the Lord sent him to do in Egypt—to Pharaoh and to all his officials and to his whole land. For no one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds that Moses did in the sight of all Israel.”
No one, that is, until Jesus.
Romans 8:28 “We know (because we’ve seen it in the life of Moses) that God works for the good of those that love Him, are called His people and live according to His purpose for them.”

2010-06-25T08:52:00.000-04:00

of all the things i'd like to be doing today, this isn't it.

2010-06-24T09:12:00.002-04:00

our youngest son turned 2 this month. it was a great day of joy and remembrance. we partied and presented and played.
we took him to the local portrait studio to get some shot taken. he did very well and there were some great shots (of course too many--more than we wanted to pay for). it seemed a little strange to me that the photog asked me to step in front of the camera and interact with him--i.e. wrestle, tickle, etc. i didn't mind doing it--i was glad to be in contact with my boy. and it led to one of the shots we purchased. it is his torso and my hands tickling him. he's got a great smile and bright eyes.
and as much as i'm in the background of the shot, there is one thing that strikes me as incredibly cool (aka - humbling, overwhelming, blessed). you can't see my face, but you can see my wedding band.
there is something artistically amazing about photographs of children where a wedding ring is present. of course, you see my point about God's design for family.
i feel compelled to offer a proviso, but i ain't gonna do it.
suffice it to say i know i am blessed. and i know i am blessed because he has honored me because i have honored his perfect plan.

thank You, thank You, thank You. as long as the band stays in place ('til death parts us), let me love my children as You love me. and...keep them coming. i have more love to give.

2010-06-23T08:25:00.002-04:00

please show us Your hand. i don't want to run in front of You, but my mind is running a million miles per hour. send me peace and serenity in challenging times; give me patience and more patience.
i don't see how it all can work out, but You are soverign and providential.
grace me up.

2010-06-21T09:17:00.002-04:00

not in a great mood today. several contributors, but they're beside the point.
i tried to convince myself that i hold my own destiny: that i can make it a good day. what a crock of crap. bad things happen to good people. good things happen to bad people.
the sun shines and the rain falls on all of us.
sure, i can adjust my attitude, but that doesn't assure a good day.

so, i pray.

Lord, help me honor You in all i do and say today. whatever comes my way, let it be a glorification of you. but, if You could divinely inspire my mood, i wouldn't complain about it. i love You and realize how you have blessed me.

2010-06-14T12:27:00.001-04:00

i didn't blog but once last week, the result of a severe case of good old-fashioned influenza.
now that i'm back in the office, i'm so far behind that i doubt i'll blog much this week.
oh well...

2010-06-06T06:05:00.001-04:00

"don't tell me I'm so different and creative that gravity doesn't apply to me. if i jump from a building, i'll fall and die. if you tell me, though, that the same rules apply to me as to everyone else, i'll build a pair of wings that will fly me around the world. that's creative freedom."
-josh seurkamp, quoted in free book by brian tome

yesterday (not the lennon song)

2010-06-04T08:33:00.002-04:00

it happened yesterday.
i made a quick stop into a favorite craft and home decor store.
i turned the aisle and there it was: autumn decorations.
spring has finally sprung, summer is about to arrive...but we already have autumn decorations.
but i kept walking...two more aisles over...i saw it...
christmas ribbon!
yup, 6 months early for the season. if it were any earlier, i'd have thought it was left over from last year.

2010-06-03T08:54:00.001-04:00

today is my younger son's birthday. it's not necessarily a milestone in his life--a lot of people turn two years old. but it is a reminder of one of my favorite phrases (and you can quote me on this), "i'm so freakin' blessed!"
it's been an emmazing couple of years.

Abraham

2010-06-02T08:42:00.000-04:00

Today we want to pull some relevant truth from the ancient story of Abraham. So, how long ya got? The story of Abraham begins at the end of Genesis 11 and goes all the way through Genesis 25—and that doesn’t account for his mention in the New Testament! That means of the four sermons so far in this series, we have more chapters about Abraham than Adam & Eve, Cain, Abel, Seth, Enoch and Noah combined.
But, through the magic of storytelling, we can fast forward a bit. And the beauty of storytelling, as we read these in the Bible, is that we see what happens when the right choices are made and we see what happens when the bad choices are made. The people in the stories are faced with win/lose scenarios. For from our perspective, knowing that we can learn from their triumphs as well as learn from their tragedies, it is win/win. I like win/win situations. In fact, the only way to lose is to hear the Word of God and disregard it.
Before we begin the story, you need to know that Abram and Abraham is the same guy. We’ll talk about why the names are different, but you need to remember it’s the same guy.
Let’s take a moment and introduce the main players in our little drama.
• First, we have Abram, later called Abraham. He is from the lineage of Shem, a son of Noah.
• Sarai is Abram’s wife. She’ll get a new name later on, too.
• Hagar is an Egyptian woman that will come into the story later
• Ishmael & Isaac are really important people, too. You’ll be introduced to them at the appropriate time.
And as all good stories do, this one begins with God speaking.
“Ok, Abram. You got to go. You got to leave the place you live; you’ve got to leave those you live with. Where are you going? Well, I’ll show you when the time is right. I just want you to be a typical guy and wonder about for a bit. Because I said, that’s why.”
And God begins to promise Abram many things.
• A great nation will come from his lineage
• His name will be of renown
• He will be blessed
• He will be a blessing
And there is one last little promise that…well…requires a quick review. Adam and Eve introduced sin to the world. And ever since then, people have needed some way or someone to save them from themselves, save them from their sin. A Savior, as in “save your sorry, sinful can from hell”.
In the original curse, God said that the serpent would be crushed under the heel of the offspring of man. Ever since that time, we’ve been waiting for the one that would be the crusher of the serpent. God promised Abram “all people on earth will be blessed through you”, through his lineage.
This promise is bigger than an idea like we Americans are blessed through George Washington. This is a prophetic promise implying that the serpent crusher, The Savior, would come from the lineage of Abram. Yeah, that’s sort of a big deal.
So Abram did as the Lord commanded him and when he was 75 years old, he took his wife, rented a u-haul and headed out on the highway. He didn’t know where he was going and he didn’t know when he’d get there—but Abram did as the Lord commanded.
Relevant Truth #1: Obedience is important. Do the right thing.
• Don’t do “the thing that feels right”.
• Don’t do “the thing that you prefer”.
• Do the God thing.
And frankly, I’m tired of hearing that people don’t know what God is telling them to do. God’s Word is very clear—as clear as He spoke audibly to Abram. I feel your pain that God’s voice sounds muffled under the noise of the world, but when we spend time in conversation with God—we speak to Him, we read His words—the “right thing” is very clear.
It probably would have appeared to us, if we’d seen this motley crew that they were wandering aimlessly. But, God was leading them. God did his part; Abram did his part—an elegant balance of power. Sometimes, that’s how it is in our lives—people don’t “get” what we’re doing, but God is leading us.
In the end of Genesis 12, there’s an interesting little story in the life of Abram. It appears that there was a drought and subsequent famine, so Abram and company went down to Egypt—if you think back to last week, you’ll see that’s not so weird, since the Egyptians are fairly distant cousins of Abram, the descendants of another of Noah’s sons. This was not a short journey when you consider they most likely walked or rode pack animals, but really it wasn’t a long journey. And Egypt’s food supply was secure because the water supply of the Nile River was very reliable.
When they get there, Abram tells his wife, Sarai, to claim that she is his sister instead of his wife so that if she is desirable to any other man, they won’t kill Abram in order to have her. You could call this a lie and Abram a liar, but we prefer to call it a half-truth. In that Abram and Sarai were from the same lineage, the concept of “sister” is accurate to some degree (several chapters later, Abram clarifies that they have the same father, but different mothers). So, it wasn’t that they were lying…they were just withholding parts of the truth. (Ahem), yeah, in God’s eyes as well as the American judicial system, we want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Anything more or less than the truth is deceptive.
In the end, Abram’s time in Egypt was beneficial as he became very wealthy, but ultimately he was kicked out of the country because of his fraud. Abram could have stayed and accumulated more wealth if he would just have been completely honest. Here’s a relevant truth: often times our blessings are discontinued by God because of our dishonesties.
And it’s so easy to do. We “omit” some of the details in our stories. We use “reverse-psychology” to get our kids to comply. We tell people that we’ll pray for them, but then “forget”. We don’t want to hurt feelings. “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all” isn’t as honest as we’d like to think it is. Truth isn’t always nice, but it’s still the truth. Speak the truth with Love was Jesus’ way to do it.
Here’s where the story gets a little “Twilight Zone”. After Abram left Egypt, he’s involved with some minor warfare. But after that, he meets this guy named Melchizedek, king of Salem.
• Melchizedek means “king of righteousness” a name later applied to Jesus.
• Salem or Shalom means “peace” and is a city later renamed as Jeru-salem, “the center of peace”. We know Jerusalem as the absolute center of Judaism—the home of the temple where Jesus himself worshipped. To a large extent, Jerusalem is the birthplace of Christianity.
• Melchizedek is mentioned to be a king and a priest—a dual title also held by Jesus, and oh the time we could spend on the implications of Jesus as a king AND priest.
• Abram gives to Melchizedek 10%, a tithe, of the booty he had taken from the minor warfare.
• Melchizedek serves supper to Abram, specifically mentioned as bread and wine. This is a typical meal for this period, and in this context, it is not to be associated with communion. But, when you put all these pieces together, your mind can’t help but see the parallels.
• And to add fuel to our fire, in the New Testament, in Hebrews it points out that Jesus is a priest in the order of Melchizedek. This is important to note because the Jews eventually thought that all priests had to come from the line of Levi (someone we haven’t met yet)—which Jesus did not. Some discounted Jesus’ claim to be Messiah because he wasn’t from the line of Levi. But, his reference to the order of Melchizedek validates Jesus as priest and king.
• Yeah, that’s sort of a big deal.
Well, back to our hero, Abram.
One of the promises God made to Abram is that he will have many descendants (and one of them will be the Savior). But Sarai, his wife is way past childbearing years and still childless. So, Sarai decides what needs to happen is that her maidservant, Hagar the Egyptian, could be the surrogate. However, since this is before in-vitro, Sarai tells Abram to do it “the old-fashioned way”. Abram thinks he has the best wife ever, and does not disagree with her.
Hagar, the handmaiden is now preggers.
And that creates problems between her and Sarai—can anyone say “duh”? So, of course, Sarai blames Abram—double duh! Abram plays dumb—triple duh! Sarai begins to abuse Hagar, and so the surrogate skedaddles.
Fortunately, an angel comes to Hagar and instructs her on proper protocol—she is to go back and acquiesce to Sarai. But, Hagar is promised that her descendants will also be too numerous to count—this is the only time this type of promise is ever given to a woman. Her son is to be named Ishmael, which means, “God hears”, but he will be “a wild ass of a man” and he will live in hostility towards his brothers.
We need to point out that what Abram did with Hagar was culturally acceptable. Because large families were necessary for survival, it was commonplace for men to produce offspring with their wife, or wives, or handmaidens, or all of the above. These children were legitimized by their paternal heritage.
So, why is this such a big deal since Abram didn’t do anything wrong? I mean, all his friends were jumping off a cliff. Why couldn’t he?
Well, what Abram did was wrong. It wasn’t God’s plan. Because of it, Abram’s integrity is damaged. Just because society says it’s OK, doesn’t make it OK. We need to live up to God’s standard, not our culture’s standard. Too often, we are a church that adapts to our culture instead of our culture adapting to God’s church in this place. We have the power of God on our side! Let’s speak up and use for heaven’s sake.
All throughout the story, God reiterates His promised covenant to Abram. These promises never changed, but as we go along, more details, more specifics are given on how the promises will be delivered. So, in Genesis 17 we read that:
• God promises Abram specific locations and acreage that will belong to his lineage eventually. To this, Abram doesn’t say much.
• As an outward sign of the promise, God changes Abram and Sarai’s names. From now on, they will be known as Abraham and Sarah. To this, Abraham doesn’t say much.
• As another visible sign of the promise, God commands Abraham to…shall we say…nip it in the bud? To circumcise himself, his son Ishmael, every man in his family, every man that will ever be born to his family and every male employee whether they are brought in to work for the family or are born to the workers. To this, Abraham complies, but doesn’t say much.
• God reminds Abraham that his descendants will be many, but this time specifically confirms that this line, the covenant, will come through his wife Sarah. To this, Abraham laughed his butt off. He laughed so hard that scripture says he fell down—we’re talking knee-slappin’ hi-larity!
For you see, at this point, Abraham was 100 years old! His wife, Sarah, was 90 years old. It would take a miracle for them to have children. Fortunately, our God is in the miracle business. And a relevant truth is that we still see miracles today!
Once he finishes laughing, Abraham pleads for God to establish His covenant through Ishmael. But, God substantiates that Sarah will have a son and he will be named Isaac. God acknowledges Abraham’s love for his son, Ishmael and promises that Ishmael will be blessed. Both boys will bear a blessing, but Isaac alone will carry the covenant.
To point out that there is such a significant difference between bearing a blessing and carrying the covenant is important. Not just everyone gets a covenant with God. When God gives one, it’s to be taken seriously. This truth is still relevant today, for people living under the holy covenant of marriage. Marriage should be treated with the significance of God’s promise to Abraham regarding his son, Isaac. Yeah, that’s sort of a big deal.
Have you ever tried to bargain with God? God tells you what to do or what He’ll do, but you try get Him to change His mind or something with vague promises or bargaining. Well, you’re in good company—Abraham did the same thing.
Abraham doesn’t want God to destroy the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah because that’s where his nephew lives. But, these cities are so evil that God has already made up His mind. Of course, because of the promise to Noah, we know that the destruction will be limited, not worldwide. And, we know that it won’t be another flood. But Abe has an idea that if he can find 50 righteous people in the city, God shouldn’t destroy—but he can’t find that many. 40? 30? 20? 10? I imagine that God is grinning at Abraham through this process, but decidedly God wins this debate and Abraham goes home. The nephew is rescued, but the cities are annihilated.
Keep in mind that throughout the story, Abraham is moving around a lot. During one of these moves, we meet a guy named Abimelech. Once again, Abraham does the “half-truth” thing and claims Sarah is his sister. Since Abimelech is a powerful king, he calls for Sarah to be his own. Sarah must have been some sort of looker, for at this point she is over 90 years old, but still considered to be desirable.
But in a dream, God warns Abimelech not to take Sarah as his own for she is already married. God also tell Bimmy that he’s going to die because of near Sarah-tasprophe. Bimmy thinks this is unfair because he didn’t do anything wrong. He was planning to take Sarah, but only because Abraham and Sarah lied. His integrity would have prevented this if he had only known the whole truth. God agrees and un-curses Abimelech’s household.
But, Bimmy goes off on The ‘Ham! “Why did you do this? Why? Why? Why? What did I ever do to you to deserve treatment like this?”
Abraham can only muster enough to say one word: fear. He’s scared of Abimelech’s godlessness. He’s afraid of the way that Abimelech will respond to him. He’s in a panic that God still hasn’t brought about the promised lineage. Fear is a great motivator to sin.
When we went through our recent series “beyond prison bars”, we were able to write down our fears, the imposed prison bars that are preventing us from accomplishing the mission of God. And I confess, we, as a congregation, sounded a lot like Abraham. We are scared of people’s godlessness. We’re afraid of how people will respond to us if we are the people God wants us to be. We’re in a panic because we can’t see past our own nose to know that God is there still leading us. We cannot allow fear to continue motivating us to sin.
Genesis 21:1-5 “Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as He had said, and the Lord did for Sarah exactly what He had promised. Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham, despite their old age—at the very time God had promised him. Abraham gave the name Isaac to the son Sarah bore him. When Isaac was 8 days old, Abraham circumcised him (in accordance with the covenant between himself and God). Abraham was 100 years old when his son was born.”
Amidst all this joy of miraculous new birth and promises fulfilled, you can still hear heartache. The birth of the promised child had to be a terrible burden for Hagar and Ishmael—their long-held hope to be the covenant carrier forever shattered. To them, the infant was but a painful reminder that they would not share the covenant. This stinks, because Hagar was only ever obedient to Abraham and Sarah; only ever obedient to God. Yet, she is the victim. Her son, her blessing, her future, though receiving promises and blessings of his own, will never bear any legitimacy nor heritage from Abraham.
And, I’m sure it was an agonizing time for Sarah to see a 14-year old Ishmael, the product of her poor choice to send Abraham to Hagar. As you can imagine, things come to a head and Hagar and Ishmael are abandoned to their own devices.
For a second time, Hagar left Abraham for the desert. She and her son wander in the desert, now ready to die from dehydration. But for a second time, God heard the cries and came to the rescue. He reminds them of the promised blessings on Ishmael, that he would father a great nation. But if you remember, part of that promise was that Ishmael would forever live in hostility towards his brothers.
Historically, we note that Ishmael’s lineage is Arabic and the subsequent faith of Islam. We know that Judaism comes from the promised lineage through Isaac. Still to this day, the Jews and the Muslims live in hostility. Their ideologies are absolutely incompatible. Just watch the evening news any given night and you’ll hear about the on-going conflicts in the Middle East—our very own US military are involved in this conflict. And all this is only because Abraham wouldn’t wait for God to deliver His own promise.
Please tell me you see the relevant truth in that. Obedience, integrity and now patience are the virtues, the qualities, the merits, the character traits we need to learn from Abraham. We need to learn them—those that don’t learn from history are destined to repeat it. The only way to lose is to hear the Word of God and disregard it.
Genesis 23 sees the death of Sarah at 137 years old. In Genesis 25 Abraham has remarried and had more children. But we note that they are the same lineage as Isaac. Therefore they are blessed, but not under the covenant. Before his death, Abraham gives gifts to all his children, but leaves his entire inheritance to Isaac. Another relevant truth: invest in the plans of God. They will always succeed despite our human involvement.
Altogether, Abraham lived 175 years. Then, he breathed his last and died. He was gathered to his people buried next to his wife Sarah. Specifically mentioned that Ishmael and Isaac came together to bury their father.
The relevant truth for us is that when we have common ground in our father, our Heavenly Father, we can live in harmony with anyone—even with a “wild ass of a man” like Ishmael. So today, don’t pray for an end to the war; don’t pray for an end to the conflict—pray for the presence of God to manifest around the world! When the church owns up to it’s mission to win, build and send servants for Jesus Christ only then will we have peace in our world.

2010-05-28T08:56:00.002-04:00

how do you get a 3 year old to pronouce mid-word "L"?
he can start words with L; he can end words with L.
but, when you put it in the middle, they become W.
last night was equal parts funny and frustrating trying to:
1-explain the difference between a mower and a tiller (for the sound the same, they must be the same).
2-explain how to place your tongue at the back of your top teeth to pronouce L so that "tiller" isn't "tiw-wer".
deep sigh.

2010-05-27T09:06:00.002-04:00

i'm no expert, but i know what i know from my own experiences.
and yet, when i confirm it in my life, i'm always surprized.
our family has been in a funk lately. not depression, but definately qualifying for the blues. we've had some additional stressors present. we've not been eating well. we've not been exercising regularly.
of course, those things are "sick-lical". we have no energy because we're not sleeping well because we've got the blues...and on and on and on...
but, yesterday i forced myself to work in the garden (which is theraputic as well as beneficial). i was sweating like, as a friend once said, a whore in church. and just when i thought i was done, i pushed myself for 15 minutes more.
that led to another branch of the project that i wanted to finish before i stopped. all in all, i spent about 75 minutes of (what felt like) hard labor.
my hands hurt and could hardly hold the bar of soap to wash myself.
but this morning, i woke up before the alarm (which is annoying), but felt so refreshed that i got up and hour early. that gave me time to start my day appropriately. i drank coffee, but wasn't reliant on it. this was a good, healthy feeling.
my hands no longer ache, but they feel strengthened--which will be extrememly helpful as i take on a 13-minutes liszt piece.

my bottom line is this: make healthy choice. as much as things can snowball out of control, they can likewise spiral into natural, God-infused and inspired euphoria. you don't need a drug to feel like this.

Lord, keep me making good choices for Your sake, not mine. if it were up to me, life would be worthless. but You give value and meaning and purpose. help me not disappoint You.

2010-05-24T10:29:00.000-04:00

• Adam lived 130 years and then had a son named Seth. 800 years later, when Adam was 930 years old, he died.
• Seth lived 105 years and then had a son named Enosh (ee-nosh).
• Enosh lived 90 years and then had a son named Kenan (key¬-nan).
• Kenan lived 70 years and then had a son named Mahalalel (mah-hah¬-lah-lel).
• Mahalalel lived 65 years and then had a son named Jared.
• Jared lived 162 years and then had a son named Enoch (ee-noch).
• Enoch lived 65 years and then had a son named Methuselah (meh-thoo-sah-lah).
• Methuselah lived 187 years and then had a son named Lamech (lay-mek). This is not the same Lamech as mentioned last week.
• Lamech lived 182 years and then had a son named Noah, the man we’ll study today.
All of these years are mentioned because a very interesting point needs to be made. Keep in mind that Adam was 930 when he died. When you add up all the years given in Genesis for the lineage between Adam and Noah, we see that Adam died 126 years before Noah was born. I realize that seems like a lot of years when compared to our lifespan. But, when we consider that these men were around 100 years old before they begat their first son, we see that Noah just barely missed knowing his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather Adam.
It’s important to note this time frame because the flood comes just after Adam’s death. Within the lifetime of one sinner, things had gotten this bad. Things were SO bad that Genesis 6:5 & 6 say, “The Lord saw how great man’s wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. The Lord was sad that he had even formed man on the earth, and it made his heart hurt.”
You know things are bad when such a generalization is drawn. But, I think it speaks even more into the horror of the condition of man to say that God was filled with regret. Parents, at what point is your kids’ behavior so bad that regret having them? That’s saying a LOT about the evil in the world.
In all this darkness though, there is a bright spot. Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord because, like his great-grandfather, Enoch, Noah walked with God. And during one of this walks, God confessed to Noah that He intended to destroy the earth. We don’t have a record of Noah’s response when God let that one fly—I imagine it is because he was speechless.
“Noah, build an ark. Make it this big. Use these materials. Put a door here and a window there.”
Noah is speechless, presumably because “ark” means “floating coffin”. Doesn’t sound like a vehicle for a joyride.
“I gonna make it rain…a lot. It’s gonna rain so much that the entire earth and every living thing will no longer be a living thing…except for you and your family and the animals I want you to bring. That’s why you need a big boat.”
Noah is still speechless.
“I like you Noah, so I’ll establish my covenant with you. You and your sons and your wife and your sons’ wives, 8 of you in all—8 is enough—will all go into the boat with two of every kind of bird and every kind of animal—because it takes two to tango. And, of course, you’ll need enough food for all of you and those animals. Make sure you have enough food.”
Noah is still speechless. But, Noah did everything just as God commanded him. And that’s especially significant when you realize that he was 600 years old before the flood came. I’m pretty sure that this guy ate his Wheaties!
In Genesis, there are three full chapters in the account of the flood. And I know all of it was included for a reason, but in a literary sense, not all the details move the plot along. Since I am just a storyteller, let me Reader’s Digest condense it for you.
• Noah built the boat according to the specs given him by God. It’s significant to note that twice in the story Noah is called “righteous”. But four times, it says that Noah did “just as God commanded”. Obedience is really important if you’re gonna keep things afloat.
• Noah and his wife, Joan of Ark, along with their 3 sons and their wives all went into the boat and brought a male and female of every kind of animal, so they could propagate the planet after the flood. But some animals, they actually brought 7, instead of just 2, so they’d have fresh food.
• God shut them in the ark 7 days before the flood came.
• And then the water came. And not just rain fell from the sky, but the springs of the deep opened up also—it was water from above and water from below at the same time. That’s why throughout the story of Noah, it refers to floodwaters, not just rain. Essentially, all of the water in existence came to the surface of the planet, whether it fell down or rose up. This continued for 40 days and 40 nights.
• And everything that wasn’t in the boat, died. Every person, every animal, every bird—dead.
The text gives some actual dates, but they are given in the Jewish calendar. So with a little research on the internet, you can see how those dates line up with our current calendar.
• Genesis 7:11 says the floods came on May 1, give or take a few days.
• It rained for 40 days and nights—and you thought a 3-hour tour was long. That takes us to about June 9.
• It took 150 days for the waters to recede—5 months. That takes us to about October 5. That’s the day that the boat stopped floating and rested on land—but, we eventually hear that they landed on a mountain, so you can imagine that there was still a lot more water to recede.
• After another 40 days, about November 14, Noah released a raven from the ark. It makes sense that a bird’s eye view would see the condition of things. He also released a dove. But the reports were still soggy.
• A week after that, November 21, he sent out the dove again. This time the report was good; the dove returned with a leaf—meaning that the water had receded enough that plants were sprouting again.
• A week after that, November 28, he sent the dove a third time. This time the dove did not return—meaning it had found things suitable to resume normal life.
• Genesis 8:13 says that on March 14, give or take a few days, Noah could see dry ground.
• The verse after that says that on May 15, give or take a few days, the water was completely gone. The flood was over.
• Noah, Joan, and their boys and wives lived on the ark for more than a year!
Then God said to Noah, “Come out of the ark, you and Joan and the boys and their wives. Bring the animals out too, because they need to get busy repopulating the planet.” So Noah did that, but then he built an altar to the Lord and sacrificed some of the animals. God smelled this offering and was set at ease to say that He would never again would he curse the ground because of man—no matter how bad things ever got. And, He would never again destroy the earth with a flood.
You remember how God gave Adam two to-do’s and one to-don’t? That’s the same number God gave Noah and his family. First, he told them to “increase in number on the earth”—have many babies! Secondly, just as He told Adam, God told Noah that he had to take care of the planet. But, this time he stipulates that every person will be held accountable for his or her own life—the way they live within their purpose or not. The to-don’t is also similar to Adam’s. This time, to-don’t eat meat from animals that are still alive.
And as a reminder of these two to-do’s, the to-don’t and God’s promise to never destroy the earth again with a flood, God placed a rainbow in the sky. And for most people, that’s where the story ends.
But, there’s one more little bit of the Noah story. Years after the flood, Noah had planted a vineyard. From the bounty of that vineyard, he made some wine. From that wine, he got drunk and fell asleep without his clothes.
His middle son, Ham (an ironic name for someone not permitted to eat pork products), told his brothers but did nothing else. The brothers Shem and Japheth (jay-feth), not wanting their father to be disgraced, went in to cover him up—specifically noted that they walked in backwards so they wouldn’t see their father in such a condition.
This part of Noah’s life was included in the bible because a curse is involved. Of course, Noah does not curse the boys that covered him. But, neither does he curse the son that did nothing—Noah’s curse comes down on the son of the son that did nothing: Canaan (kay-nen).
English translations are literarily accurate, but somewhat misleading here. The text says Noah cursed his youngest son, but then a couple of verses later, he blesses Japheth (the actual youngest of Noah’s My Three Sons). The phrase “youngest son” actually implies “grandson”, “the one younger than my youngest son”. Presumably, this curse is because Canaan did something naughty to his naked grandpa that is not recorded in scripture.
Now, just as a preview for next week’s story, we want to peek at Genesis 10. This is called the Table of Nations and traces the lineages of Noah’s three sons.
First listed is Japheth. I’m not going to try and pronounce these names because they really aren’t important to the point being made. But, historically, based on these names, we see that the descendents of Japheth settled in the areas between the Aegean and Mediterranean Seas. This is the people-group we come to know, historically, as Ancient Greece.
Second listed is the Hamites—the descendents of Ham. Again, these names aren’t important to our story, but through historical and biblical research, we see that this clan settled on the southern shores of the Mediterranean Sea, particularly around a certain river, the Nile River. The Hamites are better known to us as the people of Ancient Egypt. Keep in mind that this is the group that Noah cursed because of Canaan’s dirty deed (whatever it was).
Finally, are the sons of Shem. Even though his name is spelled s-H-e-m, the descendents of Shem are called Semites. Ever heard of them? Adolf Hitler was very well known for his anti-Semitic views. It is from the line of Shem that we’ll arrive at next week’s hero, Abraham. This is the line that history will eventually come to know as the Jews. King David can be traced in the line of Shem. Jesus can be traced in the line of Shem.
Yeah, that’s kind of a big deal.

2010-05-23T06:11:00.003-04:00

the only weird thing is that it wasn't weird.
yesterday provided an opportunity to reconnect with our of our birthfamilies. of course, we've continued to communicate via email and pictures, but it's really special to get together.
i can't really describe it all.
we had fun because we did fun things with fun people and it wasn't awkward to talk about our connection.
we ate cookies because everyone loves a good toll house and it wasn't uncomfortable to be open with each other.
we talked a lot because conversation and communication are what's missing in most relationships and it wasn't uneasy to speak from the heart.
we are so blessed and realize that not everyone is able or willing to have a birthfamily relationship. but, this young woman and her family gave us an incredible gift. and, when i consider the story of abraham placing isaac on the altar, her face is the first thing that comes to mind. she loved my son so much that she made a choice to give him life and a better life. i feel selfishness in myself when i see her for i'm not sure i could give him up for God nor any person. that's a profound love! and that's the selfless, Jesus-kind-of-love we all need--to love so deeply that no pain of separation can match it.

precious Jesus, thank You for all my blessings.

2010-05-20T10:14:00.000-04:00

things ain't what they could be
things ain't what they should be
but, praise God, things ain't what they used to be

2010-05-19T08:43:00.000-04:00

it's so nice to have the family all together again. and healthy.

enoch

2010-05-17T09:01:00.001-04:00

Genesis 5:

God created man and woman in His own image, with His own hands and blessed them. When Adam had lived 130 years, he had a son named Seth (the one that came after Cain & Abel). After Seth was born, Adam lived 800 years more (that means he lived a total of 930 years!) and had other sons and daughters. Then he died.
When Seth was a mere 105 years old, he because a father to Enosh. He lived 807 years more after that, having other sons and daughters—that means he was only 912. Then he died.
Enosh was a youngin’ when he had his first son, Kenan. He was only 90 when his son was born. And after Kenan was born, Enosh lived 815 years more and had other sons and daughters. Total: 905 years. Then he died.
Talk about children having children, Kenan was only 70 when he sired an offspring: Mahalalel. But in the great tradition of Old Testament people, Kenan had other sons and daughters. He was 910 and then he died.
Mahalalel retired just in time to become a father at age 65. His firstborn was Jared; his other sons and daughters are not named. He managed to live 895 years. Then he died.
Jared had his head on straight and didn’t become a father until he was 162 years old. His oldest son was named Enoch. After Enoch was born, Jared lived 800 years longer…having other sons and daughters…for a total of 962 years. (He is the second oldest man recorded in the Bible.) Then he died.

“When Enoch lived 65 years, he became the Father of Methuselah. And after he became the Father of Methuselah, Enoch walked with God and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Enoch lived 365 years. (here’s the important part) Enoch walked with God. Then he was no more—because God took him away.”
Enoch didn’t die.
Perhaps you could make a claim that “he was no more” is a polite phrase like the one you would use with your children when the goldfish died. But when we compare it to the others’ stories, we see they were specifically mentioned as dying. That ought to be obvious, since they aren’t still here. That detail is included in each story because Enoch’s story uses the exact same sentence structure as all the prior accounts. But the change in the wording reflects the fact that he did NOT die, because he walked with God.
Now, let’s back up just a little bit to the end of Genesis chapter 4. We are given a brief lineage from Cain—the Marked One that killed his brother. Pay careful attention because some of the people share common names, but are very different characters.

Cain had a son named Enoch (not the same one as we’re talking about today).
That Enoch had a son named Irad.
He had a son named Mehujael.
His son was named Methuselah.
His son was named Lamech.

Basically, if we looked at a flowchart of the lines from Adam, we see that our hero Enoch and Lamech are 5th cousins--one from Cain and the other from Seth. I know that’s really distant, so maybe it’d be better to think of them this way: Enoch and Lamech are the 7th generation from Adam. Why is that important to know?
It is important because of the contrast in lives and attitudes of these two fellows. Enoch is recorded for history as the man that walked with God and did not die. Lamech is recorded for history as a violent murderer. He was arrogant and thought he could redeem his family through his own achievements. Lamech would have made a good American, thinking that hard work will take care of everything. He didn’t think he needed a Savior.
And so, as the old saying goes, “He who dies with the most toys still dies”. The hardest worker, the most successful, the best looking, the teacher’s pet and all the others, if they do not walk with God, will still die. But, he who walks with God does not die.

Enoch is a great inspiration to us all--we can walk with God and be blessed because of it.

cain & abel

2010-05-16T06:13:00.001-04:00

Two brothers, both alike in dignity,in fair Eden, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.

Genesis, chapter 4, records the events in the lives of Cain & Abel. These fellers were brothers. It is unclear from the text if they were twins or not, but that’s an irrelevant detail. Cain is the older of the two and his name means “spear”. Abel is the younger but not the youngest brother—a common misconception that we’ll talk about in a moment. His name means “temporary”. I point out the meaning of their names, because they present foreshadowing of things to come.
For a moment, let’s think back to last week’s story of Adam & Eve. God gave Adam two to-do’s. He was to name the animals and tend the garden. You might calls these two things “the family business.” And so, as we see in Scripture, Cain and Abel each took one of those to-dos as their own.
Cain focused on the to-do of tending the garden. He worked the land and produced vegetables; he took up the family business as a farmer. Cain was the first recorded horticulturalist. Abel, on the other hand, focused on the to-do of naming the animals. He worked with livestock and provided meat; he took up the family business as a rancher. Abel was the first recorded stockbreeder.
Before we get to the point in the story that most of you are already familiar with, I want to point out a couple of things that we don’t see in the text. First, we have nothing in the text that indicates that God showed any partiality to one or the other brother based on their chosen career. Farming and ranching are both noble professions because they are a part of the original two to-dos.
Secondly, we need to point out that we have no indication that these brothers, both alike in dignity, had any enmity between them. So, we can assume there to be brotherly loving and not brotherly loathing or else there would be indication, foreshadowing, of the event to come. The farmer and the cowman can be friends.
Cain and Abel both knew that God was providing the bounty of their labors, the recompense of their work, the paycheck. And only 4 chapters into the book, we see people giving from their income to God—an offering. Both brothers brought an offering to God. And while both brothers were doing the same action, they were not approaching it the same way. And we learn that the action of the hands reveals the character of the heart.
Cain, the farmer, offered his vegetables to God. “This tomato is pretty good. I guess this carrot isn’t too bad. Yeah, I think we’ll be passing along all the Brussels sprouts. Rutabagas? Whatever. OK, God, here you go!” Cain’s actions revealed that his heart he viewed himself on the same level as God—if it’s good enough for Cain, it’s good enough God.
But Abel, the rancher, had real meat in his offering. Abel brought the best of the best, the finest of his flocks. It would certainly have benefitted his livestock portfolio to keep the best and reinvest. If you remember 4th grade science class, you’ll know the concepts of the Punnett squares and breeding for improved stock. But Abel chose to sacrifice the best that God had given, and then gave it back to God. His actions revealed that his heart knew it was more important to give to God than to save for yourself.
Which weighs more, a pound of gold or a pound of feathers? Well, they both weigh a pound, but the pound of gold is more valuable because it’s better stuff. I don’t suppose there was a significant difference in the quantity or volume of the brothers’ offerings, but Abel’s offering was more valuable because it was better stuff. Grade A, prime meats—the choicest cuts. God smiled on Abel’s prime rib, but frowned upon Cain’s salad surplus, his leftovers.
Here’s something to note. God frowned upon Cain’s less-than-the-best offering, but He did not punish Cain. Cain’s leftovers did not please God, but neither did they anger God. But we see the actions of his hands revealing the character of his heart, and Cain is angry and scowling. I imagine we’d see him and accuse him of pouting. Maybe he’s grumbling, complaining under his breath. There is jealousy toward his brother and resentment toward his God.
So God asks him, “Why are you angry? Why are you scowling? Don’t you know that it doesn’t take much to please me? All I want is your best. And, if you can’t see that, then I’m afraid that sin is blocking your view of Me. Just do the next right thing and you’ll see that sin has no place in you.”
But, the actions of the hands reveal the character of the heart. Cain invites his brother to go hang out for a while and while they are out, Cain kills his brother. Presumably, he stabs his brother because Cain’s name means “spear”. Abel is lying dead in a pool of his own blood, his life but a temporary existence, as his name would imply.
“Um, Cain, this is God speaking. Where is your brother?” “I dunno. I gotta take care of these turnips; must I take care of him, too?”
Then, there is what you might call a deafening silence. There is a hush that hurts your ears. And from above the noiselessness, God cries out in anguish, “What have you done? Listen! The blood of your brother cries out from the ground. I curse you! The very ground that drank your brother’s blood will no longer yield his vegetation to you. You will forever be discontented and restless.”
And it was more than Cain could bear. Cain feared for his very life—isn’t that ironic for a murderer?
But God reserves vengeance and justice for Himself. And so, He marked Cain so that all people would recognize him and not kill him, for that was God’s appointment to keep.
We don’t know what this mark looked like. We know that man looks at the outward appearance, so the mark had to be cosmetic in some way.
• Some conjecture that this is origin of the black skin tone, though this is easily discounted by the accounts of Noah and the flood.
• Some fantasize that the mark of Cain is his thirst for blood and his fanged teeth—he became a vampire. To this, I say two words, “oh, brother.”
• Some wonder if the mark was a good old-fashioned 666 on his forehead. Eh…
The truth is that we don’t know what the mark looked like nor does it even matter. A bigger problem is an attitude towards offerings that is marked like Cain’s.
For never was a story of offerings more plain than this of Able and his brother Cain
Oops, I almost forgot. At the beginning, I mentioned that Abel was the younger, but not youngest brother. At the very end of Genesis chapter 4, we see that Adam and Eve had another son and name him Seth—a name indicating that he was a “replacement” for Abel.
And, the last sentence of the chapter is the most important of all. “At that time men began to call upon the name of the Lord.”

2010-05-14T08:41:00.002-04:00

the old testament has always been, in my mind, a collection of stories. sure, there are prophets and poets, but mostly it's about stories. i always thought it would be easy to retell the stories because you could leave out a lot of the details--the repetition, the genealogies, the unpronounceable names and places.
but, with this exercise in telling the stories without reading the stories, my eyes are opened to new revelations and appreciation for all of this.
maybe in the coming weeks, i'll blog about all the stuff i've learned. i'm ashamed to admit that i had a college level class in this and i barely remember any of it (sorry dyke, you can list me among your failures even though i passed).
still, i encourage you to study (that's more than just reading) genesis and work your way through. it's fascinating, but above all, it's helpful.
it's where i've come from (and the prophecies tell where i'm going). win/win!

2010-05-13T08:55:00.002-04:00

why do we do this to ourselves? what were we thinking and when will we learn to keep our mouths shut?
yesterday posed one such scenario to rhonda and i. our first thought (the offer) was correct, the subsequent questions are what threw me off. but, in answering those pesky questions, i am strengthened in our resolve to the original offer.

we do this because we are Christ's servants. to serve people is to serve Him. we want to have within us His heart of compassion. we offered help because help is needed. if the offer is not accepted, we're not out anything, but at least we made an effort. if our offer is accepted, then we'll work as we are able as unto Him. this person is created in the image of God--she's not kept up that image very well with her choices, but still we know that under the crud of live is imago dei. as much as it depends on us, we will work to discover that and let her see it of herself.
at first, i wasn't sure that we were thinking. the offer fell out of my mouth before i stopped to consider it. but actually, that encourages me upon deeper reflection. it came out so quickly because it is becoming second nature to me. (when it becomes my first nature--replacing my natural instincts--that'll be a day of rejoicing.) in truth, we didn't need to stop and think. we just need to do the will of God. i'm saying we approach this wrecklessly, for we have boundaries and saftey mechanisms in place. still, to pursue others for the sake of Christ is humbling. but with that humility, we know from experience, comes strength and empowerment to accomplish the task.
i sometimes my mouth runs the opposite of what it should--open when i shouldn't speak, closed when i should speak. however, i am more deeply convinced, convicted and resolved that the offer of help is always appropriate whenever i am able. may i never shut my mouth to withold assistance; may i never shut my mouth from proclaiming the glory of God. and yet, may i never speak, lest they be the words of Christ. let me never sing, save for the glory of our Risen Lord.

Lord God, giver of life and sustainer of all things, we need so much from You in this endeavor. we need Your words--they are valuable for training, teaching, rebuking, chastizing and building up. we need Your words to teach, show, model and demonstrate True Love. we need Your wisdom to discern and sort through the lies. we need Your strength to withstand all the critism that may come; we need Your strength and sustenance to live from day to day. above all, we need Your grace--we need it for we are unworthy sinners and we need to so we can administer it to others that needs it as desperately as we do. thank You, Holy Father, for Your faithfulness even when we are not.

an old friend

2010-05-12T09:09:00.002-04:00

this old song was found deep in the recesses of my memory banks and just struck a chord with me today. you may remember it; you may not remember it. and while the tune is dated, the words resound strong and true.

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow

I don't know about tomorrow;
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from its sunshine
For its skies may turn to grey.

I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said.
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

Every step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb;
Every burden's getting lighter,
Every cloud is silver-lined.

There the sun is always shining,
There no tear will dim the eye;
At the ending of the rainbow
Where the mountains touch the sky.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

I don't know about tomorrow;
It may bring me poverty.
But the one who feeds the sparrow,
Is the one who stands by me.

And the path that is my portion
May be through the flame or flood;
But His presence goes before me
And I'm covered with His blood.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

2010-05-05T08:27:00.002-04:00

well, tomorrow's the big day--israel's tonsillectomy.
it's funny that he speaks of it so fluently, though he has no idea what it's all about.
"israel, do you want to help me bake a cake?"
"no, i think we should wait until after my tonsils are out."

i don't really have anything profound to say about it all, but it's what's on my mind today. there is a surrealism about never having had surgery myself (stitches once, but nothing major) and yet my son is having surgery.
maybe that's a good thing--i'm not so nervous because i don't know what to expect. on the other hand, the diversity of personal accounts of friends' tonsillectomies varies so greatly that, again, i don't know what to expect.
i know rhonda is a bit uneasy (not worried, she'll tell you). but she's got two strikes against her already: she's a mom and she's the "one in a million that will experience complications". the complications from her tonsillectomy are the reason doctors have to warn you about the possible complications!
here's an interesting tidbit: he'll be the first adamson EVER to have his tonsils removed. i have mine; my brother has his, as does his kids, our dad, etc. ain't that just plain special.
i feel like i'm babbling in my blog today. perhaps i am. maybe that's a sign that i am actually nervous about all of it. maybe i've just had too much coffee already.

God, like abraham and isaac, i lay my son before You. You gave him to us and we rely on You to guide the surgeons and help his little body to heal. we are fearfully and wonderfully made, i know that full well. set our minds at ease.

2010-05-04T09:57:00.000-04:00

May, the Fourth, be with you.

2010-05-03T09:19:00.001-04:00

a pat on the back sure feels good.
complients are very nice, too.
but, my favorite compliment is "thank you for opening my eyes to the truth of the Word."
that'll build you up and humble you down all in one sentence.

2010-05-02T10:31:00.002-04:00

Let’s start at the very beginning…a very good place to start. When you read you begin with ABC, so that’s where we want to start today.

A is for Adam. In fact, A is the first letter is nearly every known human alphabet because it is the first letter of the first name of the first man ever.

On the 6th day of creation, God formed Adam from the dust of the ground. Here’s a little tidbit that reinforces that point: the name “Adam” is not even a word in the original language of the Old Testament, Hebrew. But if you rearrange the letters in the Hebrew word for “ground”, it spells “Adam”. Adam was formed from the ground. The word picture created by the original language is that of a potter forming a masterpiece from clay.

Have you ever considered that man, and woman, are the only things in creation that God formed with his own hands? God is so powerful and strong that His very words were enough to bring things into existence. God spoke and this planet, with its unknowable mysteries and complex simplicities, came into being. God spoke and the sun, the moon, the stars, the planets and “only-He-knows-how-many” galaxies spontaneously existed. Water, Air, plants and all animals—except one—were spoken into being. That one is man.

God formed man with His very own hands. He formed the man in His own image. We are not made of the same stuff as God, but we have much in common with Him. If we consider that our purpose in this life is to let others see God in us, it makes sense doesn’t it, that we need to get rid of all the things that aren’t of God so that what we’re left with is the purest form humanly possible of the image of God.

It’s only my opinion, but I think God used His hands to form man because of the importance of touch. We are tactile beings; we like to touch things. Every parent knows that. If we’ve said it once, we’ve said it a million times, “Don’t touch that.” We connect with things because of touch. Newborn babies bond with their parents through the sensations of touch. Hugs, handshakes, kisses and cuddles are important, because they involve touch. God wanted man to have that bond with Him.

And as if God’s handiwork weren’t enough to make the creature special above all other created things, God blew his very own breath into the man. Donkeys, Giraffes, Walruses and Duck-Billed platypuses all breathed on their own because that is what God spoke them to do; but not man. We have within us, the very breath of God.

Well, back to the story…

God created the world and everything in it and said, “it is good”. But then, he formed Adam and said, “it is very good”. Then God placed the man in the garden center of this created world, specifically noting that man was in charge of all of it, responsible for all of it. The garden was for the man and the man for the garden. He would tend the garden, but he would be fed by the garden. Everything in the garden was his and yet, he, himself was of the garden, because he was formed from the soil.

Specifically, God gave man two to-do’s and one to-don’t. There were only three things that Adam had to remember. He didn’t have to remember his wife’s birthday, for he didn’t have one yet. He didn’t have to remember to pay the water bill, for there were four rivers running through the garden where the man lived. He didn’t have to remember to pick up his dirty socks, for he didn’t wear socks—in fact, he didn’t wear anything and didn’t feel any shame about it. Though I suppose if I was the only person on the planet, I might not be such a prude regarding public nudity.

For the first to-do, Adam was to name all the animals. This doesn’t seem like it’d be hard to cross off the list because there wasn’t a committee involved and there weren’t any groups like PETA to question the ethics of the animals’ treatment when given any particular name. And to make the task even easier to accomplish, Adam didn’t have to go find the animals to name them; God brought the animals to Adam.

The second directive was more involved, that is to say, more on-going. God told man to tend the garden where he lived. Essentially, Adam had to do yard work.

Some people love yard work, others do not; some of us don’t do much of it because of allergies. But, I can’t imagine that it was hard work. I mean, everything in this place was…well…perfect—exactly as God had created it. And figuring that even back then, God would not give more than could be handled, Adam was perfectly suited for the work he was given. And so, the point to be made is that man was not created to be idle or inactive or unproductive—neither in the physical realm, nor in the spiritual realm.

God gave Adam freedom—freedom to move about the garden as he willed, freedom to eat all the food in the garden, freedom to eat as much food as he wanted (how i wish i had that freedom). But, as we Americans are acutely aware, freedom comes with a boundary.

God spoke to the man and said, “You are free to eat from any plant in the garden, but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil”. There were thousands, millions, maybe even billions in abundance on the buffet, but only one tree of which he was not to eat. To don’t. Don’t do it. No exceptions, no provisions, no worst-case scenarios, no “but-what-ifs”, no wishy-washy moralities—only one absolute: do not eat of that tree.

Have you ever heard the expression, “didn’t know any better”? Adam fell into that category. He was living life to the fullest that he knew existed. And even though God is all that man needed, God knew the man would benefit from a helper. And among all the animals that God had created, no suitable helper could be found, so God formed another creature.
God gave Adam some anesthesia and performed a rib-ectomy closing that place with flesh. From that rib, Scripture says, He built a wo-man, so called because she came from man. And boy was she built!

I don’t know that Eve was necessarily the “perfect woman”, but I know she was perfectly suited for Adam. The original language gives us some beautiful word pictures of their relationship. It says they were “corresponding parts”; they “fit together”. She was taken from his side so to be by his side, a helper. She was to help do the to-do’s and help don’t the to-don’t.

Here’s another little tidbit that speaks to the man-woman relationship. In Genesis 1:27, there is a well-known phrase that says “in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them”. I don’t want to come across as crass, but this is true. The Hebrew words for “male” and “female” are not what we see in the text—a literal translation of the passage would better be rendered as, “in the image of God he created them; stick and crevice he created them”. Is there any question that we are created by God to enjoy sexuality within his plan?

Here’s where the story gets sticky and feels a little bit like Narnia. There was a serpent--a snake, but not just any snake, a talking snake. The woman was living up to her purpose, tending the garden alongside her mate when she hears a voice. “Did God really say you must not eat from any tree in the garden?” In the garden, there are seeds of doubt.

“We can eat from any tree, except God specifically mentioned not eating from that one. In fact, He said not to even touch it or we will die for sure.”

We need to clarify for the record that is not exactly what God said. God said, “Do not eat from it or you will die”. We have no written record that He said not to touch it. Eve added to the story. She made the to-don’t even stricter than God originally intended.

“You will not die”, the serpent lied. “God just doesn’t want you to eat because He knows if you do, you’ll have knowledge like Him.”

Have you considered that the serpent tempted Eve with truth? That is exactly why God didn’t want them to eat from that tree. The temptation seemed right and good because it enticed the woman to be “even more in the image of God”. How can something so good, so in-line with the basis of humanity be so bad?

It’s bad because it’s the only to-don’t. She was doing the to-dos: naming the animals and tending the garden at the side of her husband, but now she totally to-did the to-don’t. And then Adam totally to-did the to-don’t.

In the aftermath, there are all kinds of problems. I probably don’t need to tell them to you, because I’m pretty sure we’ve all done the same things:

Hiding from God – “But the Lord God called to the man, ‘Where are you?’”.
Masking the sin – “so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.”
Shifting blame – “The woman gave it to me to eat.”
Playing the victim– “The serpent deceived me.”

And then come the curses.

The serpent, as a species, was cursed to crawl on the ground and to lick dust (ever seen a snakes tongue?); humanity will fear snakes and consequently be stepped upon and killed by humanity.
The woman was cursed. Pain in childbirth and the whole “female thing” are products of the fall.
The man was cursed, specifically mentioned because he listened to his wife instead of the Word of God. Now, men have to work harder to provide for their family. We have to remember that we were already created to work, but the curse of man is that it takes more work to get out of sin than to stay out of sin.

Who’s the innocent victim in all of this? It’s not us. Eve was the first, but she wasn’t the last; we have our own sins. The Bible says very clearly that planet earth and everything that touches it is cursed because of humanity’s choice.

Was it worth it?

old friend and a cadenza

2010-04-30T09:31:00.002-04:00

i was blessed to pick up an old tradition of mine--coffee with a particular friend (name witheld to protect the curmudgeonly). we haven't met regularly in months, so it was particularly nice to pick up where we left off. sealing wax, cabbages nor kings ever came up in conversation, but we talked about many things.
his insight today deserves to be shared.
the topic of music came up, as it often did, and i was explaining the concept of cadenza. it's basically a place for a performer to have some spontaneous (or otherwise well-conceived and planned) musical renderings at particular points of a song. in the realm of concerto, the orchestra and conductor to know to wait for the soloist before contiuing on.
in his inquisitiveness, i realized he had a valid point when he compared classical cadenza to artist spotlight in a jam session. "you mean they just play whatever they want for a while?" yup, pretty much. there are guidelines, but essentially, you're in the composer's seat.
i know this friend to be a highly disciplined individual. he likes order and routine, but he noted and i pass it on to you now--"sometimes you just need to take a cadneza".
and it's true. sometimes you need to take a spontaneous me-moment.
too many cadenzas would distract from what was really being played. too few makes things overly formulaic and routine.
so, as springtime has hit our hometown, i say that this be declared national cadenza weekend. take a small moment and be spontaneous. don't overdo it; don't underdo it. enjoy life for God gave it to you. that's why it's called the 'present'.

2010-04-29T12:21:00.000-04:00

oh God, let me never do that again.

2010-04-28T08:24:00.002-04:00

i'm not really sure what i want to type today. in fact, i almost didn't write today.
i've been motivated to resume blogging semi-daily, but today i fought it. i wanted to write, but wasn't sure what to say. and, being a proponent of "silence is golden", i was about close the window and save insight for a new day. but, just i as i was about to click...i saw it.
it stares at me everyday in my office.
it is a formerly-sticky (the adhesive wore off long ago, so now it's got a pushpin in it) note with 5 words on it.
i wrote this note to my self quite a while ago after being challenged by one particular old codger. (i usually don't mind disagreeing with folks as long as we're on the same page, but i really wanted this guy out of the picture--i viewed him as poison to my flock). i've recited, quoted, called upon and dilberated about this a LOT over the years. the note simply asks: "bad heart or bad habit?"
this has become my standard of measurement for the goodness of man. i realize that i am not the judge. i don't claim that position, nor do i desire that position. but, the question forces me to look at the person through God's eyes.
God loves every person. they are His children, His creation. that doesn't mean He likes the way they act, or the things they say, or the habits they form, or the attitudes they display.
do i love them the say way?
back to the old codger...
i honestly think he viewed grumpiness as his spiritual gift. it's not on any list in scripture, but it might have been written in his margins. but i realized, through seeking answer to the question, that he did, in fact, have a good heart. he just had a bad habit of being grumpy. this definately, on the jared-scale, scored him higher than some sociopath that had bad habits fueled by their bad, ugly, unrepentently-sinful heart.
so, i thought that's what i'd write about today--the old codger, whom i am sure is now with the Lord.
except, as i was typing, i realized i needed to ask the question about myself. (i hate mirrors.).
more to come as i explore that question.

one passage, two revelations

2010-04-26T09:15:00.005-04:00

during my freshman orientation (august 1992), i felt, for the first time ever that i can recall, the Word of God speak directly to me.

being a PK (preacher's kid, not promise keeper), i had spent a lot of time hearing the Word of God preached, recited, quoted, presented, blah, blah, blah and etc. but, never did i listen. the difference between hearing and listening is a much-debated topic, but you know what i'm saying: my ears were working, but my heart and mind weren't.

let me give you a bit of back-story. when i was in high school, i had normal teenage problems: feeling boundaries, body image, place in this world (crap, now i have that song in my head), what i'll be when i grow up, etc. in retrospect, i didn't have it any worse than anyone else. but in the moment, yeah, it pretty much sucked to be me.

which of course leads to "acting out". for me, the temptation was shoplifting. i perceived that we were too poor to have cool things, so appropriated items that i wanted. i justified it by telling myself that these were things God wanted me to have: predominantly, christian music CDs. oh, the irony. eventually, it came to a screeching halt. i was busted.

so, back to our regularly scheduled past-tense life event: college orientation.

i can honestly say i have never shoplifted since then. (i still face the temptation occasionally.) but, i really stuggled with guilt about the whole ordeal (and the months of participation leading up to the crash). i was enrolled in a Bible college, which officially makes me a thief and a hypocrite because these people were serious about the whole God-thing and i was just playing along. i couldn't possibly ever be as holy as these folks (and i mean the students, let alone the faculty). paul changed all that for me.

"not that i have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but i press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. brothers, i do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. but one thing i do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, i press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (emphasis mine)

as much as i hate cliche's, i found truth in learning life is a journey, not a destination. in that moment, i was forever changed (which again, i realize is very cliche-ish, though absolutely true).

the second revelation of this passage just came to me yesterday.

my loyal readers (i think there are two, neither of which is even my own mother) may not realize that i am the most insecure musician that i know. but, apparently i'm a really good actor because i hide it so well. well, in order to understand my second revelation, i must again dive into the past. i hope you don't mind.

every music major at ccu (when i was a student, it was cbc), is required to do a junior recital. a simple 25-30 minute demonstration of skills in the performer's field: voice, piano, etc. being the cocky, hot-shot musician that i was, i took it on full force. i picked pieces that i felt were deceptively difficult (meaning, they sounded harder and flashier than they actually were). it actually was quite a nice program. but, i didn't have the goods to deliver.

i had the dexterity to play the pieces and i had the musicianship to emote through the pieces. i did not have the rehearsal skills, the endurance nor the stickwithit to accomplish the task. i failed miserably, even to the point that a memory block gripped me and i played 'heart & soul' in the middle of a mozart sonata. i eventually recaptured my place and finished the piece, but it was a horrible, traumatic experience. i vowed i would never do it again and nearly gave up music entirely. it's been nearly 15 years since i even attempted anything like it.

but, in the past few years i've felt a nagging to resume this type of playing. i play piano a LOT through work at the church and other various endeavors. but, i don't play this way. there is a surreal conflict between nagging and baggage--the two camps (i can't vs. i want to) were waging a war in me. and unfortunately, for those years, my choice was not to decide between them, which ulitmatley gave victory to the baggage.

"not that i have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but i press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. brothers, i do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. but one thing i do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, i press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (emphasis mine)

the same words speak differently to me. i've come to realize (thanks, rory noland) that the baggage was a lack of self-confidence. but, really it wasn't self-confidence, i was lacking God-confidence. this is the confidence in knowing that i was created for a purpose. i am gifted and talented (the verb, not the adjected) with skills to be used for that purpose. i am empassioned about accomplishing that purpose. i am a musician--that's what God created me to be.

to deny my calling is to:

deny the Diety of Christ
deny His power to work through me
deny His power to bring healing from past hurt
deny my very dna

when God calls, He also gifts; when gifts, He also expects the gift to be opened and used! so, out of the frying pan of self-doubt into the fire of humility, hard work and hope renewed.

so, this nagging in me is winning against the baggage now and in january 2010, i resumed taking piano lessons. i don't know where this will take me. the sky is the limit, though there are some benchmarks that have presented themselves as appropriate steps to take for recovery. these are the goals to be reached.

one such goal was the competition i entered yesterday. the final results were in my favor, though the bigger victory was in the confirmation that God called me to be a musician. and those He calls...well, you just read that part 2 paragraphs above...but, those He calls, He also confirms the calling through His comfort. i felt His comfort at a level never experienced before. soli Deo gloria--to God alone be the glory!

i am speechless in your presence today, Father Creator. gratitude, humility, strength and courage, hope--the list goes on and overwhelms me. You are faithful. You are holy. You are all that i need.

2010-04-25T06:06:00.002-04:00

Lord, today i need You to help me balance the confidence of knowing how and what You created me to be along with the anxiousness that is natural response to my body's functions. and then, i need You to combat the lies of the deceiver that say i'm not good enough to glorify You.

2010-04-23T08:35:00.002-04:00

reposted from a friend's blog

Here goes nothin'
To my knowledge I have over the last eight years successfully avoided talking about American popular politics on this blog. I've never endorsed a candidate or an issue. My politics are not of this world. I am the voluntary slave of a benevolent totalitarian despot named Rabbi Yeshua. He is my only politic.
When I first embraced this idea I immediately became apolitical in the common sense of the word. I had some revolutionary breakthroughs about my primary identity. I am not - at some foundational level - a Republican or a Democrat. For that matter, I am not fundamentally an American. This doesn't mean that I hate Republicans, Democrats or America. I happen to love all three. I've spent my life announcing good news to the people of America. It is my chosen mission field. But it doesn't change my political allegiance to King Jesus.
I am not trying to be the guy who takes jokes too seriously or stirs things up. Neither am I secretly trying to make some covert pro-Obama statement in what I am about to say. (I'm rather dreading the comments that may follow actually.) That said, as a pastor and theologian, I need to call some evangelical Christians into account for an increasingly hate-filled "joke" that has gone way too far. (Please keep in mind that I am the pastor who makes PG-13 poker-themed comedies in my spare time. I can normally take a joke just fine.)
On social networking sites (and bumper stickers) people have been "jokingly" advocating praying for the death of President Obama. Today three of my Facebook friends invited me into this fan group:
DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN
I get the joke part of this. But I would like to think Christians are better than this. If the last line was, "My favorite pastor is Joe Boyd. Amen" would you still be a fan? Even if you didn't like my ideas and teachings?
There is another similar "movement" that is far worse. I've seen it on Facebook as well, but more frequently on bumper stickers in my neighborhood. (And once in my church parking lot.) It reads "Pray for President Obama: Psalm 109:8"
It seems innocent enough until you read the passage in context:
"May his days be few; may another take his place of leadership. May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow. May his children be wandering beggars! May they be driven from their ruined homes..." - Psalm 109:8-9
This is a curse written by a psalmist (maybe David) several thousand years ago - an occasional practice in Old Testament poetry and literature, but a tactic remarkably absent in the life and teachings of Jesus and his early followers.
Jesus says things like, "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?"
Paul says that we should pray for our leaders in this way in 1 Timothy 2: "I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth."
Let's not forget exactly who Jesus and Paul are taking about. Within three years of saying this statement, Jesus' enemies arrested, tortured, framed and murdered him. Yet he did not retaliate...or pray for their death. He prayed on the cross for their forgiveness.
The leaders of Paul's Roman world were, generally speaking, off the charts immoral, violent, selfish ego-maniacs. I Timothy was written in the 60's AD - during the rule of Emperor Nero, possibly the most vile and brutal Christian-torturer of all time. Nero was certified evil. Paul says, "pray for him...that we may live peaceful lives." If anyone deserved a Facebook fan club to pray that God would kill him, it was Nero. Paul must have listened when Jesus said to love his enemies.
Some of my readers and friends actually like President Obama. But, some of you really dislike him. Some of you see him as your ultimate enemy. Maybe he is your enemy. (If he is I refer you up four paragraphs.) I'm not asking you to support his policies. I don't mind if you think he is a raging out-of-control communist ideologue. I'm not that into the politics de jour to care about those sorts of things - again, it's not my Kingdom. My whole point here is that when you joke about praying for his death - or seriously pray for his death - you are inconsistent with the teachings and actions of Jesus and Paul. You are breeding hatred and murderous fantasies in your heart and mind. You are breaking the sixth commandment in your spirit. In my opinion, you should repent immediately and pray for forgiveness and peace. You might even want to apologize to him here. And stop asking people to join you in your sin.

answered prayer

2010-04-22T09:02:00.002-04:00

for the past couple of months or so, i've been trying to remember to recite (with sincerity) a prayer that goes like this:
"Lord, as i sit down to play, restore to me the joy of rehearsal, of performance and of music. You have gifted me, so i play for Your glory."
i don't always remember to pray it, i confess. But, as i start the final countdown for my ccu recital this evening, i look back and realize that joy has been returned to my heart and music. i'm not surprized that God hears and answers the prayers of His people, but it makes me smile to see the answers. well, i mean to say, "hear" the answers.

note to self: don't forget to pray.

You orchestrated the universe and have place the music in our souls. thank You. i experience a new revelation with the psalmist--the joy of Your salvation is now expressed through the joy of music. i love You.

vicarious pain

2010-04-21T08:37:00.002-04:00

i've never been in that situation myself.
i'd like to offer encouragement and say, "i feel you pain." but, i don't and i can't.
i wish i could take all, or at least some, of the burden--pain by proxy for those i love.
but, i can't.
all i can say is, "let me help you pick up the pieces."

God, this sucks. i didn't want them to make this choice. i wanted it to be a shining example of Your grace poured out on the fallen, restoring them to the place of trust and community. i didn't want them to be the statistic. i wanted them to be the exception.
i need Your help to know how to encourage without enabling. i need You to prompt me when i need to check in with them. i can't imagine the pain, so however i am able to bring healing, use me.

Psalm 35

2010-04-19T09:08:00.004-04:00

enemies without cause (a phrase from Psalm 35:19)
sometimes it just seems that way.
for no reason whatsoever...
without provocation...
you feel like charlie brown and you just can't win.
there's no reason...
there's no logic...
there's no...cause
they are just enemies, and rightfully labeled "without cause".

it struck me this morning as i was reading this psalm with the staff that there really isn't anything to do about them except draw closer to the Lord. perhaps that's the point.
God created logic and order and balance in His world. He created reason, wisdom and intelligence. all of those brain-functions direct us to Him.
and yet, we see that even the things (or people) that don't use their brains should direct us to Him. despite the aggravation of it all, it's a win-win situation for you and your Maker.

when things go well, go well with Him; when things aren't going well, go well with Him.
when people build you up, be closer to Him; when people tear you down, you'll find Him there, too.

Lord Jesus, i still want You to get these crazies, these enemies without cause out of my life. they annoy me. but, through them, draw me to You. and, let me draw them to You on my way up.

2010-04-18T05:44:00.002-04:00

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36618238/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/

i'm really not sure how i feel about this. i see lots of angles and perspectives, but just can't see the righteous answer among them all.
i am struck by the words of the adoptive mother (with whom i can relate) that a man, who may be very different now than he was then, is being taken away from his family.

oh God, come back soon. i can't take many more stories like this.

individuality

2010-04-16T08:37:00.003-04:00

last night proved a rare treat for me.
for so long, i've been proud of my family unit (i still am). i think back to the hurdles we'd run, jumped, crawled and/or barely made it over in order to have a strong, loving family unit. rhonda and i have insisted that we do things as a family whenever possible in order to avoid so many of the traps of separation that ensnare so many.
i'll fight to my death to support the family as a whole, but last night reminded me of the joy of the individuals of my family.
it was an unusual occurance for us on many planes--kara is away at college, rhonda was working late, emmaus went to his cousin's game and i wasn't working late on a thursday. this provided time for israel and i to be mano-a-mano (which by way, i always thought meant 'man to man', but actually is a spanish phrase meaning hand-in-hand and comes from the realms of bullfighting).
since the evening was so lovely, we walked to a local restuarant for an early dinner. there was only one other couple present in the entire establishment, so israel was king! we had the undivided attention of our server. we ordered (and ate) foods he couldn't pronounce (a 3-year old trying to say chimichunga is freakin' hilarious) and had the deepest and most profound conversation of his little life.
we talked about mama and CC and brother. we talked about his blankie and baseball. we conversed about profound topics of love and family--yes, all of this from a 3-year old. i felt very deuteronomical.
after supper, we packed up our leftovers (which he designated for mama to eat) and started home. but, as we walked past a barbershop, we decided to stop in and get him a much needed trim. israel has always been good about sitting still for haircuts, but last night was the ultimate. not only did he sit still, but he chatted with the barber--not just cutesy kid chat, but banter on the level one would expect to hear from floyd, andy and barney. it was magical.
since such good behavior deserves to be rewarded, we stopped at cvs to buy ice cream (actually, it was partly because i was feeling a bit depressed that my baby is growing up so fast). we made it home and sat on the back porch and ate ice cream...and continued to discuss things like church and heritage and how, for us, those intersect.
we finished the night with a viewing of one of his new favorites, the bee movie.
eventually, emmaus and mama came home and we were glad to see them. it was late, so we didn't get much time with them as we all wound up the day and headed to bed.
i am blessed by my children, but last night i was reintroduced to my child. the profundity of the moment was not in how fast they grow up or any sort of cat's in the cradle menmtality; it wasn't in an evening when obedience was the norm instead of the exception. the moment was profound to be reminded that star trek was correct. huh?!
often, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. but sometimes, the needs of the few, or the one, outweigh the needs of the many. mano-a-mano.

Great God in heaven, give me more moments like these: moments of mano-a-mano life with my wife and each child and moments of mano-a-mano life with my family. we are blessed with and by each other.

scary, huh?

2010-04-15T08:44:00.002-04:00

it's emotionally and spiritually overwhelming to consider how your child's ability to appreciate the thing you think most often defines you may be diminishing. the end is not yet in sight, yet the end does not look bleak--all things in good time. but, the flood of "what if's" and "why me's?" can really freak you out.

it's been a while

2010-04-14T16:37:00.002-04:00

holy cow! i can't believe how long it's been since i blogged.
i'm not really sure that i have anything to say today that gave the uncontrollable urge to type, but i did notice that my blog address is on email signature. that reminded me that people do click on those occasionally and i really ought to say something.
of course, the same old topics are always good--my wife is beautiful and loving, my kids are a immeasurable blessing, allergy season sucks (rather, it blows--as in, my nose).
i've had some personal struggles lately, but they are different than previous life-things. i'm not sure that i'm ready to share them nor that i ever will. the small world is getting smaller and i wouldn't want to cause unnecessary harm just because i want to spout for a bit.
so, until inspiration strikes again, i'll sign off.

in case you're wondering

2010-01-25T09:20:00.003-05:00

in case you're wondering...
nope, not back into blogging mode yet. the only reason i'm giving this update is because i noticed my previous post about not-blogging referenced christmas. i have made it past that holiday, but i'm just not inspired to blog any further at this time.

on pause

2009-12-11T08:59:00.002-05:00

with the christmas calendar in full swing (fool swing, perhaps?), and with many things on my mind, i've decided to stop fighting the nag to blog and to just admit that it's not going to happen for a while. so, i'm announcing that i'm on hold for the time being.

2009-12-07T10:17:00.002-05:00

i'm thinking that instead of 'the great white death', snow in cincinnati should be called 'idiots, start your engines'. it happens every year, so let's learn to drive in this stuff already.

slow and steady will get you there
leave plenty of space for responding to people and conditions
start earlier than usual
don't go out unless you have to
have good tires on a good vehicle
turn on your lights to increase visibility (of you and by you)
keep weight in your vehicle
clean all your windows completely (even sides and rear)

i've tried to keep my frustration to myself and just let some helpful hints be known. however, if this craziness continues, stronger action will be taken. as dr. david banner often said, "don't make me angry. you wouldn't like me when i'm angry."

2009-11-16T09:34:00.002-05:00

"_________________________"
(yup. that's me. speechless in the presence of God today)

headlines

2009-11-11T08:57:00.002-05:00

as i was walking in this morning, i noticed a neighbor's morning edition with a headline reading "episcopal OKs gay unions".
why is it that americans keep voting down or overturning state legislation on gay unions?
why is it that the churches keep handing down dictates promoting gay unions?
some folks want us to remain (or rediscover) a christian nation while others want us to forge ahead into a post-christian nation. many berate the church for being closed-minded. the church and christians are blamed when their agenda fails. and yet, it seems to be the denominations that are joining support of the issues. is this paradox? irony? is it symptom of fighting the wrong battles?
i wonder what God thinks about the way we treat other people and the way we try to understand His defintion of love.

he said it better than me

2009-11-09T12:09:00.003-05:00

i'm currently reading a book entitled, 'finding the groove--composing a jazz-shaped faith' by robert gelinas. it's a challenge to theology with illustrations from jazz; i'm really enjoying it.
so, this particular passage really struck me and i was compelled to reprint it here. i hope the publisher is ok with that (and i hope they appreciate that i'm actually using correct capitalization).

E Pluribus Unum
E pluribus unum--out of many, one. This motto represents the
American desire to be a society in which people from the whole world can come
and participate. At first, it only referred to the original thirteen
colonies, but over time we have come to recognize that the United States is a
nation created from the nations. Community in America begins with
understanding that we are many--native and immigrant, French, Italian, Germany,
Spanish, and so on--and while the story of how we came to be on these shores is
different, we can be one. E pluribus unum appears on the Great
Seal of the United States and on much of our money, and it represents our quest
and question when it comes to community in our culture.
It's a laudable goal, but how do you make many into one? The answer
depends on your metaphor. The image we have in mind for community is
vital, not just for our country, but for church as well, for our culture will
guide our pursuit toward being one in Christ.
The melting pot was (and still is for many) a guiding metaphor for making
one out of many. It is the idea that when a potential new citizen arrives,
he or she assimilates into a common culture that brings unity. The hope is
that whatever we let go of will more than be returned in the land of
opportunity. Many gladly melt into this "great crucible" for the benefits
it affords. Others wonder if the cost is too high as they simmer in teh
stew and give way to a new culture. Some who find the melting process
difficult can't quite liquefy and become the sludge at the bottom of the
pot. Ultimately, the melting pot is more about the one than the
many--which is why many opt for the salad bowl as a more fitting metaphor.
In a salad, lettuce remains lettuce and tomatoes remain tomatoes. The
salad bowl seeks to move beyond the melting pot by drawing attention to the need
for individuality. The salad dressing becomes teh key--representing that
which keeps everything together. But what is teh dressing? What is
that one common thing that holds us all together? Some have said it is
democracy, which is a pretty good answer for a country but a bad answer for a
church. How united in Christ can we be if everything comes down to
votes? I win, you lose--and vice versa. A good attempt, but it's
more about the many than the one.
We must be careful not to fall into the pitfalls of either of these
metaphors while at the same time recognizing that e pluribus unum is
compatible with the gospel's call to community. While both metaphores have
strengths, the cost of their weakness is too high. We desperately need a
new way of thinking about community in America. A fresh paradigm that will
help bring about unity among churches and within local bodies of
believers. A way of being "I" and "we"--so we don't reduce our definition
of community to "being in a small group." What is community? Is it
having significant relationships with others? Is it the people who live in
your same geographic space? I believe it's all that and so much
more.

opening night

2009-11-07T16:16:00.002-05:00

opening night for miss saigon was a huge success!
i know we weren't perfect, but the audience responded well, the cast performed well (and had fun). everything about it was what it should be.
i felt so good at the end, i was ready to do it again.
i could have sang all night and still have sung some more.

a dream

2009-11-06T09:13:00.003-05:00

it was sobering to me to realize that miss saigon has been a dream of mine for 15 years (i can't be that old). i first saw it while i was in college and knew, at that moment, that i wanted to perform in the show at sometime.
tonight realizes that dream come true for me.
i'm overwhelmed and excited and nervous and a little bit freakin' out--actually, i think i'm a whole-lot freakin' out.
too freakin' out to be trying to type into this blog today.

opening night of miss saigon

2009-11-05T10:57:00.001-05:00

sold out! (and it's not until tomorrow)

2009-11-04T08:56:00.003-05:00

as the opening of miss saigon approaches, this song keeps coming to mind. may my offerings on and off stage be only for His glory.

the stage is bare by sandi patty
the stage is bare; the crowds are gone
the love we shared still lingers on.
we sang and played and we laughed and cried
and in our fumbling way we tried
to way what only hearts can know
but, all too soon we had to go
but now here in this darkened room
just empty seats--there's just me and You.

it was so easy to call You Lord when a thousand voices sang Your
praise
but, there's no one to hear me now
so, hear me now; be near my now.

the stage is bare; the crowds are gone
Lord, now's the time i need Your song
to give me joy and certainty
when no one else is watching me
i need You more than words can say--tomorrow's such a daily
day
and so, i need to feel You then, holding my hand
please hold me then, i need You, Lord.

this is why i do it

2009-11-02T07:49:00.003-05:00

yesterday was an incredibly long day--which should have seemed to have an extra hour, but alas, i filled that hour too.
i was to the office by 6am to prepare for our regular morning worship services. then, i ran (well, walked) home with just about enough time to grab a quick bite and then to the store for an errand. quickly, i was back to church to prepare for the ordination service. before the final amen was uttered, i scooted out the door and headed down to rehearsals--a grueling, 6+ hour rehearsal.
now, i am pooped. officially. unequivocably. pooped.
but, i loved every minute of it:
i love my job. no, not my job...i love of the calling placed on my life. i not easily awakened before 7 am, except to prepare for worship and i never have a problem with it then.
i love to worship. i love to fellowship. i love everything about my church.
i was humbled and honored to participate in the holy moment of setting mike apart for christian ministry. the ceremony was nice, but the ideal of ordination was unimaginably fitting.
i have met so many new friends, very talented friends, while working on this show. yesterday's rehearsal, although long, was rejuvinating and exciting and...dare i say it?...FUN!
our show still needs another visit or two to the chiropractor--kinks need to be worked out. but, i see the potential and i can hardly wait for friday night to open our show and our renewed theater.
this is why i do it: i'm so freakin' blessed by it all and because of it all. even in long days like yesterday, i see the hand of God leading me. only He knows what great things lie in store. praise His Holy name.

2009-11-01T07:57:00.002-05:00

oh Lord, i need You today. i need You everyday, but especially today i ask for You to hold me near. keep one hand on my shoulder and the other over my mouth. give me wisdom and patience despite my fatigue.
i praise You in this day for You have made it and given it to us. may it all be for Your glory. You are the reason we do what we do and i pray for it to be enough.

2009-10-28T09:05:00.002-04:00

my wife is awesome.
she's a great help-mate and partner to me.
she's a great mother to my kids.
i am blessed with her and by her.

i am not a writer

2009-10-26T09:47:00.004-04:00

i am not a writer.
i love to write. i love the power of words. i am impressed by the ability words have (and demonstrate) to inspire, challenge, poke, prod, teach, admonish, rebuke, taint, convict, etc.
somewhere in my upbringing (everything that is me up to now. up to now. up to now (i'm constantly learning). up to now.) i caught a vision of potential for effective communication. i'm pretty sure RWB had a lot to do with that.
but, as i sit in front of my computer today, i realize that words are not my gift.
i figured out my deficiency because my morning was so perfect. it was one of those moments that you want to say "words can't describe", but then you find a poem by keats or byron or shakespeare or longfellow or angelou or hughes or silverstein or hallmark or anonymous that does, in fact, describe. it captures with words. in black and white, without clip art or doodles, the writer's words expresses the visual, audio, spiritual, emotional snapshot of "it".
you can call "it" a moment or a mood or mental image or whatever...the words sum up, contain, explain or otherwise rematerialize the experience. this is the power of words. this is why the gospel of john begins as it does: "in the beginning was The Word..."
ok, back to life, back to reality.
i'm not a writer, but i really want to blog about my perfect morning. so, to you, the reader, here's my disclaimer: read at your own risk and keep in mind that my puny words just won't do it justice.
i got up early (which is never a good start to a morning) and despite being tired-er than usual for a monday morning, i did my wii-walk. in fact, i bumped it up a bit, doing almost 15 minutes more than i typically do. i hate to exercise, but i love the effects of it and i'm almost convinced that it's worth it. (now, this is one of the writing things i'm talking about. as i re-read that sentence i'm not sure that i really captured the sarcasm that i was intending about exercise, it's benefits and rewards.)
after an invigorating hot shower, i got dressed in some of my favorite clothes: jeans, sweater and comfortable casual shoes. had a hearty breakfast and proceeded to my weekly coffee meeting. (i again missed to write effectively. "coffee meeting" has double-entendre here. i meet in a location where coffee is served. but, it's really good coffee and i look forward to the cup meeting my lips. both were especially good today.)
i then proceeded to the pinnacle of my morning, my commute. the brisk temperature and resultant visible breath, the flourish of fall foliage, good tune on the zune and a sunrise that brought to mind the concepts of Creation--this is the exact same orb in the heavens that adam gazed upon, and now also to adamson. it was amazing. it was a moment that confirmed my faith in God. if my life was a movie, this would have been the slow-motion montage.
i realize that my words can describe all the elements of "the moment", but they still don't sum up the experience. maybe better words will come to my mind; probably not. maybe i'll enroll in an on-line writing course to improve my skill set; probably not. maybe i'll...; probably not.
but, when my wife asks how my day was, i'll grin and say, "fine".

new music

2009-10-25T07:28:00.002-04:00

i'm not one to ride the bandwagon of the latest and greatest in worship music. i like worship music, but not because it's new or old or is a hymn or a praise song format or is piano-driven, guitar-driven, a cappella, etc. i love God and it is my humble honor and duty to worship Him. for me, music is a great vehicle to carry my praise to the throne.
but, there are 3 new songs that have really touched me lately. i print the lyrics here so that you too can mediate on them.

Desert Song by Brooke Fraser
This is my prayer in the desert, when all that's within me feels
dry.
This is my prayer in my hunger and need. My God is the God who
provides.
This is my prayer in the fire, in weakness or trial or pain.
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold. So, refine me,
Lord, through the flame.
This is my prayer in the battle, when triump is still on it's
way.
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ, so firm on His promise
I'll stand
I will bring praise. I will bring praise. No weapon
formed against me shall remain.
I will rejoice. I will declare, God is my victory and He is
here.
This is my prayer in the harvest, when favor and providence
flow.
I know I'm filled to be emptied again. The seed I've received I
will sow.

Fade With Our Voices by Jason Gray and Jason Ingram
After all the songs are sung and our prayers for kingdom come, did we
bring honor to the words we sang?
Does our worship have hands? Does it have feet? Does it
stand up in the face of injustice? Does our worship bow down? Does
it run deep? Is it more than a song that fades with our voices? Does
it fade with our voices?
Lord, it's You we long to please. Make our lives a melody that we
proclaim when we live in Jesus name.
Does our worship have hands? Does it have feet? Does it
stand up in the face of injustice? Does our worship bow down? Does
it run deep? Is it more than a song that fades with our voices? Does
it fade with our voices?
So, if we raise our hands high, let us also reach them out. And
if we lift our voices up, let it be the sound of love.

Remembrance by Matt Maher and Matt Redman
Oh how could it be that my God would welcome me into this
mystery?
Say "Take this bread, take this wine." Now the simple made divine for
any to receive.
by Your mercy we come to Your table.
by Your grace You are making us faithful.
Lord, we remember You--and remembrance leads us to worship.
and as we worship You, our worship leads to communion.
we respond to Your invitation, we remember You.
See His body, His blood, know that He has overcome every gtrial we will
face.
None too lost to be saved, none to broken or ashamed, all are welcome
in this place.
by Your mercy we come to Your table.
by Your grace You are making us
faithful.
Lord, we remember You--and remembrance leads us to worship.
and
as we worship You, our worship leads to communion.
we respond to Your
invitation, we remember You.
Dying, You destroyed our death. Rising, You restored our
life.
Lord Jesus, come in glory! Lord Jesus, come in glory!

small world and a great quote

2009-10-23T12:08:00.004-04:00

i feel like i've written a lot about miss saigon recently.
yup, i have.
i felt like i ought to branch out, but it's consumed me and it is my life right now. so, it makes sense to me that my life lessons (the things God is teaching me and leading me through) come from my experiences in and around the show.
so, here's another one...
one of my fellow cast members had a death in his family this week. it was an unexpected blow to the family (as these cases often are), but they seem to be grieving appropriately. it was hard with rehearsals to make time to attend any part of the memorial to support him, but i was able to make it to the funeral on thursday morning.
i really enjoyed the message of the pastor (whom i did not know). it was very appropriate for such a time. one thing he said that really impacted me even though i didn't know the decedent is that "no man can offer comfort, that is God's job. but, our availability shows we care."
so many times, i try to formulate the right thing to say in so many diverse situations. i try to figure out how, in 25 words or less, to express my heart and empathy. (i do have a heart and empathy, though i never feel like i show it well, hence my desire for words.) but, the preacher's words gently reminded me to get out of the way, to shut my mouth and let God work through me. my availability to God will translate to availability to those in need.
so God, i pray that you use me every day and in every way to show forth Your light. i am Your vessel to be used for Your purposes.
after the service, i saw an old friend--someone that didn't know yet about our youngest son. it was nice to reminice for a short time and to remind her that there was a church family that loved her and would love to see her again soon and often. as we were about to part ways, it dawned on me that i didn't know her connection to the departed. so, i asked. it turns out that she worked with him at a local establishment. it is a small world.
my prayers will now double--comfort for the family and friends of the departed will continue, but i will also add prayers for the prodigal to return home.
God, bless us, everyone.

just in the mood to write

2009-10-14T09:10:00.002-04:00

i'm not really sure what i want to say today. there is so much in my mind and in my heart that wants to burst forth. i have beauty in my life and i have heartaches. i am acutely aware of and conspicuously naive of so many things that are present in my life.
the ideals of surrealism have captivated my thoughts of late. wikipedia (that most reliable of sources) says "Surrealist works feature the element of surprise, unexpected juxtapositions and non-sequitur." is there a more apt description of life in Christ? well, for that matter, life in general is full of non-sequitur.
now, let me clarify one important point: i do not hold with all the ideals and extremities of surrealism, dadaism, etc. but, the underlying premise (as written above) really seems to be true for me.
i am blessed, though cursed by my own sins. i am happy and heartbroken. i am smiling and sobbing and starry-eyed and stark and strained and surging.
often i have said "it's all good." i realize that's not the truest thing i've ever uttered, but it sums up a life-philosphy that embraces life despite its foibles, takes the bad because it leads to good, in the grip of hope amidst the choke of hopelessness.
maybe i need a new phrase--something like "it's all dickinsian--the best of times, the worst of times", "it's all ecclesiastical--nothing new under the sun" or "it's all God".
i'm noting the humor in myself. as i type this, i unwittingly realize i have the expression that my grandpa had whenever he was perplexed. "it's all perplexing"? "it's all dichotomy"? 3rd generation of perplexed? how many of us have experienced this (all that have lived, i suppose)?
maybe someday i'll understand it, or at least have perspective that captures a nugget of truth, an ideal to hold on to. but, if not, this i know: God is good.
for now, i accept this as my own internal duet--major and minor keys simultaneously singing the same song of praise.

just for fun

2009-10-12T08:04:00.002-04:00

i had so much fun at rehearsal yesterday!
the story...but first, let me clarify. i alwasy enjoy rehearsals, but yesterday was a different role for me, so to speak. it was more fun than Scrabble®!
there were a couple of the leads absent yesterday. (i'm not sure where they were, but they've worked hard and certainly deserve a day off.) but, an important aspect of the rehearsals right now is that we are beginning to put together the pieces. up until now, the bits and pieces have been seperated into the component parts. first you pop the popcorn and then you string it together for the christmas garland.
so, because of that approach and the absence of some, i got to play about 2 or 3 additional characters besides my own. what fun!
the entire show is full of great songs and i got to sing even more of them than usual. also, i got to interact with more of the cast than usual. and to top it all off, someone brought food.
it was a great day of rehearsal.

a confession and a revelation

2009-10-05T09:19:00.002-04:00

it was revealed to me yesterday.
well, more accurately, it sorta slapped me in the face yesterday: i'm not used to not getting my way.
wow, when i say/type that, i realize how shallow i sound. perhaps i am that shallow. i hope not and i'll work to grow closer to Christ. but, as i ponder the blessings of my life, i really have been given a lot! many dreams have come true for me--many more than i ever deserve.
some of my dreams have required a lot of extra work, but still have been acheived. when i think of everything we did to pursue family expansion: medical (procedures, timing, costs), emotional (hope, hopelessness, hope, hopelessness), legal (adoption procedures, costs) and waiting, waiting, waiting, no one ever said "no". it took a while, but my 3 kids are proof that i got what i wanted.
the office environment i work within is highly collaborative. and from that, i really get to interject my thoughts and ideas. not all of them are accepted carte blanche, but decisions made are most often through concensus or at least with my conscent (i don't ever get the final call, but i want the best for our church).
to be completely transparent, i have to give more of my disappointment in the saigon experience. i didn't get the part i wanted. never when i've auditioned for a show have i ever wanted a part as badly as i wanted the male lead in miss saigon. sure, there are star vehicles and supporting roles. but, it never has really mattered to me--i've done leads and i've done chorus.
let me also say this is no reflection on my friend that did get the part. he's doing a great job and is certainly capable and achieving really good character stuff. but, i wanted it. there was no second chance, no "upon further consideration...". (likewise, i should say that i love the role i got.)
well, the incident that ushered in my revelation came yesterday, as i already said. my oldest son was being considered for the child's role in miss saigon. i really wanted him to do it. i wanted him to steal my thunder. i wanted the accolades for him. i wanted everyone to see my kid being cute.
"it's not going to work out."
i understand all the reasoning, and agree with it--but that doesn't match my dream, my vision. i didn't get what i wanted and it hurt.
i have no hard feelings toward anyone about it, but i'm disappointed.
so, i'm just confessing today.

Lord, restore contentment in my life. but, more importantly, teach me and guide me to the place in your heart that seeks Your will and ways. it's not about me. thank You for, despite the let-down, reminding me that You are all that is important. thank You for the blessings in my life, so much more than i deserve.

sunday school works

2009-09-25T08:29:00.004-04:00

we were very excited a couple of weeks ago because israel "graduated" from the church nursery to his very first sunday school and wee worship class. we were freaked out that our baby is growing, which i assume is a fairly normal response from parents. we weren't really worried about him adapting, for he's always had a personality with adaptability. but, for about a month, we talked it up with him. he caught the vision and began to tell everyone, and i do mean everyone (friends, family, cashiers, total strangers, etc) that he was "going to go to school".
a few friends had asked if he enjoyed it, but that's difficult to measure in a 2 1/2 year old.
but, this week gave me a glimpse of the truth: sunday school works!
early (way too early) in the morning, the two of us were sitting on the couch. i was playing a hand-held game and he was looking at a book. in the book was a picture of a tree. the dialogue begins:
israel: "papa, is that a tree?"
papa: "yes, that sure looks like a tree to me."
israel: "papa, is that a tree?"
papa: "yes, it is a tree."
israel: "papa, did God make that tree?"
papa: (slightly surprised) "why, yes. God did make the trees."
israel: "God made the trees and He made me! thank You, God, for making me."
yes, the tears flowed freely.
and, i'm gaining a better understanding of the child-like faith that Jesus encouraged us all to posses.

i echo the prayer of praise offered by my son: thank You, God, for making him.

2009-09-16T09:08:00.003-04:00

i first saw miss saigon about 15 years ago. at that point, it was the most riveting theater experience i'd ever...experienced. i knew that i wanted to someday be a part of such a production. everything about it had me mezmerized from the first note of the overture and the rise of the rice paper curtain all the way through the last cry of agony (yes, it's that kind of show).
and now that i get to experience the show from the inside out, i know i am blessed. but, i've come to realize how my perspective has changed since i first saw the show.
at that time

i was still in college, not sure what i was going to do with my life
i was single and not dating (though, hoping to date the girl that went with me to see the show. alas, amiee, your loss)
i had no children

our 'situations in time' color our perspectives. that's not a bad thing, though we'd often like to think we can think outside of our situations. my situation in this time is what's different and i relate to the characters (mine and others') different. it's not that the show is any less impactful to me, but it is...well...different.

i can say now with all assurance that i would, if faced with some sort of situation that called for it, make the same choice as kim for the sake of her son. i pray i never am faced with any such choice, but i am sure that i would do the same thing.

and, my perspective on the love women have for the children they bear is much different now thanks to meeting 2 wonderful young women--lisa and emma. they were in awkward situations and they chose to put the lives and well-being of the baby boys inside them of higher priority than their own. they are amazing women that paid an immense price because of love; love of their children was wider and higher and deeper than any social obligation or deep-rooted need within them. (and i am blessed because of their choices.)

i am more and more profoundly affected by the immensity and humility of love. i am overwhelmed by the love Christ has for us to let himself die in our place--to take our penalty. i am blessed by the way my wife loves me. i am built up and strengthened by the simplistic love my children give to me. i am baffled by the way my teenager has developed a great sense of love and compassion despite the early beginnings of her life having an example of love that is ugly and not true (love that is conditional is not love at all). all this love in one man's life? who ever could deserve such a thing?

well, no one deserves it, but we are better because of it.

dear Lord, may i love the way i have been loved.

changing

2009-09-14T09:17:00.004-04:00

in light of the current sermon series at church, i've really been pondering this song. it's called 'i am changing' by henry krieger and tom eyen and is from the show/movie 'dreamgirls'. i post the lyrics here for you to view through the lens of 'you & improved'.

i am changing, trying every way i can.
i am changing. i'll be better than i am.
i'm trying to find a way to understand.
but i need you. i need you. i need a hand.

i am changing, seeing everything so clear.
i am changing. i'm gonna start right now, right here.
i'm hoping to work it out, and i know i can.
but i need. i need you. i need a hand.

all of my life i've been a fool who said i could to it all
alone.
how many good friends have i already lost?
how many dark nights have i known?
walkin' down the wrong road there was nothin i could find.
all those years of darkness could make a person blind.

but, now i can see i am changing, trying every way i can.
i am changing. i'll be better than i am.
but i need a friend to help me start all over again.
that would be just fine. i know it's gonna work out this
time.
'cause this time i am--

i am changing. i'll get my life together now.
i am changing. yes, i know how.
i'm gonna start again. i'm gonna leave my past behind.
i'll change my life.
i'll make a vow that nothing's gonna stop me now!

i'm beginning to see the light!

2009-09-04T07:27:00.002-04:00

"And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14

i'm not really sure how to begin writing today. do i outline the whole scenario or just the highlights? is that information really relevant to the point i want to make? can i make my point without some background?
well, here goes...
i am confident that God manipulates the rules of His universe to allow me to be involved with community theater. i don't have time to do this, and yet it works out (and relationships do not suffer because of it). sometimes i can't remember my own phone number and i call my kids by the wrong name, and yet i can memorize 2 1/2 hours of music, script and choreography--God clearly leads this adventure.
and i am confident that God uses me in the fellowships of these groups. many an actor has asked, "what's my motivation?" i never need ask that, for being used by God is my motivation. i plant seeds as i participate in art (what a great combination!).
well, this current show is no different. i knew i was being placed in a role because God wanted me there (and the director thought she made that choice). despite all the questions and soul searching i had to do prior to auditions (to see if this particular show was beneficial or just permissible), i knew i had a bigger role awaiting me.
well, this week was very dickensian at rehearsal--it was the best of times and it was the worst of times. i won't go into the details for they now are in the past. but, in the midst of those details i was able to pray with a castmate. i don't know where he is in his faith-journey. he may be atheist or agnostic for all i know, but God used the moment and we (me, my castmate, the cast, the show and the situation) are all blessed because i, like esther, was placed for such a time as this. this is not a brag blog, but simply a testimony of God's enduring faithfulness and confirmation of His hand's presence in my life.
maybe that's the end of the story, but i have an idea that a sequel is not too far away. i will pray for and with more castmates! besides, and i say this in all seriousness, this is a HUGE show and we'll never make it through without God's help.

thank You, Lord, for helping me overcome my fears and stepping in faith to pray with my friend. You are an amazing Being. i'll never understand You completely, but You always confirm to me Your heart is true. make me, shape me, form me ever more into Your likeness--a reflection of You.

patience

2009-08-30T07:45:00.002-04:00

i just have to be real. it's a call from heaven, but also, it's who i am (mostly because of the call from heaven). i want to be a "what you see is what you get" kind of guy. no pretense and no facade.
so, i have to say upfront that i'm learning patience through our production of miss saigon. i'm so excited about the show that i want to be making bigger strides and sooner. i'm ready for the pressure of tech week. i want... i want... i want...
wait, there's the rub. whenever it becomes about "me", i loose patience--not with myself per se. when i let it become about me, i loose sight of a bigger perspective. this is an "us" thing, not a "me" thing.
so, then i have to step away from myself and look at the group and know that we are progressing, moving forward. it's a daunting show to try and pull off and there are many tees to be dotted and eyes to be crossed before we open in about 2 months.

Lord, teach me patience. and, let me use these 2 months wisely and for Your purposes (You have me here for a reason).

saigon thoughts

2009-08-29T17:04:00.002-04:00

i've been pondering elements of the show that i'm working on, miss saigon. i think what i'm coming to appreciate is the dichotomy of simplicity and depth.
there is a simple love story,
but it has a little complication
and there are barriers
and every person is a human--that is, there aren't really any stereotypes and you can sense the depth and humanity in even the minor characters/chorus members.
there are conflicts based on religion, socio-economic status, patriotism, nationalism, racism, governmental bureaucracy, morality, drug abuse, multi-culturalism. oh, and don't forget love in it's various and wondrous forms.
as some of you know, i have a bad habit of telling too much of a story instead of letting you come to see it with a clean slate. so, i'll stop talking about the specifics of the show.
i'll just say again that i'm gaining greater appreciation for the dichotomy of simplicity and depth within the characters, the music and the show as a whole.

tickets on sale soon.

irony

2009-08-24T13:13:00.003-04:00

as i'm getting steeped in rehearsals for miss saigon, a memory came back to me. i'd mostly forgotten about it, but it's fun and i wanted to write about how small the world is afterall.

the first (and only) time i saw a production of miss saigon was when i was in college. i had the hugest crush on a certain girl (name withheld for her privacy) and we shared a love for music theater. so, on a very expensive limb, i went out and got tickets for MS and invited her as my date. she agreed, though i think mostly because of the show, not me.
we had a great time and enjoyed the show. we didn't go out again and that's ok, too. we stayed friends until i graduated; after that, we lost touch.
well, fast forward many years--for one of our anniversaries, rhonda and i went to see a production of r&h's cinderella. we were having a great evening, enjoying the performances of deborah gibson (aka debbie gibson) and ertha kitt.
during intermission, i was chatting with rhonda about some of the previous shows i had seen in that theater, one of which was miss saigon. i told her the story of the girl on which i had a crush and we had a laugh about the way life goes on in directions different than we often imagine.
about that time i hear a timid voice ask, "jared?" i turned to the seats on my left and who should i see but crushy-girl and her husband. she remembered the production (and the evening) as well as i did and agreed that life goes in different ways.
but, i have to say after all these years:

to crushy-girl--thanks for a lovely evening, but i'm happy with the way things turned out
to rhonda--i love you so much and am quite thankful that my future includes you and not crushy-girl
to miss saigon--i love you, though not as much as i love my wife, and i'm really glad to get to be a apart of lsc's amazing production

2009-08-21T08:52:00.003-04:00

Miss Saigon is a West End musical by Claude-Michel Schonberg and Alain Boublil, with lyrics by Boublil and Richard Maltby, Jr. It is a modern adaptation of Puccini's opera Madame Butterfly, and similarly tells the tragic tale of a doomed romance involving an Asian woman abandoned by her American lover. The setting of the plot is relocated to the 1970s Saigon during the Vietnam War, and Madame Butterfly's American Lieutenant and Japanese geisha coupling is replaced by a romance between an American GI and a Vietnamese bar girl.
It premiered at the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, in London on September 20 1989, closing after 4,264 performances on October 30 1999. It opened at the Broadway Theater in New York City in 1991. It subsequently opened in many other cities and embarked on tours.
The musical represented Schönberg and Boublil's second major success, following Les Miserables in 1980. As of April 2009, Miss Saigon is still the 10th longest-running Broadway musical in musical theatre history.

Last night was our first rehearsal for this magnificent show. i'm sure in the next 10 weeks i'll be blogging more and more about my insights and ideas of the show. mark your calendars for november 6, 2009--opening night at the soon-to-be rebuilt loveland stage company theater. it'll be worth the wait (in gold). www.lovelandstagecompany.org

Lord, even in the midst of this show of a secular love, let me do my best and do it for your glory.

2009-08-14T07:44:00.003-04:00

so, my wednesday post was about a dream-within-a-dream.
today, i'm blogging about a movie about blogging. coincidence?
we went to see julie & julia yesterday for rhonda's birthday. it is a very sweet film and i recommend it (some questionable language, as might be expected). though i'll warn you--it made me hungry.

2009-08-12T08:08:00.002-04:00

i'm not one who can usually remember his dreams. i'm told that i have them everynight, that they are a part of healthy sleep. but, rare is the occasion that i wake up remember the pictures in my mind.
but, last night was different.
likewise, i'm not one to fall into irrational fear--that is, i can watch slasher movies without double checking the locks on the door. i watched 'the exorcist' without questioning the motives of my son's tantrum.
but, last night was different.
i had a dream that i was chaperoning a trip for kings high school. that's a little strange for it is something that i did this past spring. the difference this time is that it was for the band/orchestra and not the choir. we were headed west for a very large competition on 2 charter busses.
as it often is with dreams, you don't remember all the details, but this i remember--i had a dream within my dream. just before we were packing the busses to leave, i fell asleep and dreamed that my family (who wasn't my actual family, but in my dream they were the real ones) went on vacation. while we were driving a large pick-up and pulling a camper (which is how those of you who really know me can tell it was not real), we lost control and drove over a cliff. the only survivor was our dog.
well, that dream-within-a-dream woke me up in the dream, but i felt such a overwhelming fear that i couldn't get on the bus to chaperone this trip. i tried to tell everyone that it was a prophecy about this trip and that we were all going to die, but no one listened.
eventually, i just slowly walked away from the busses and headed home, slowly walking, in a daze. (and yet strange details i do remember is that i was headed towards king's island and the sun was setting (or rising) just behind the eiffle tower).
the dream-within-a-dream was, in fact, a prophecy, but not about the trip of teens from kings. as i headed off into the sunset, i walked through an apartment complex and was shot down in a drive-by shooting. i died, but the trip out west had a wonderful time. i should have stayed on the bus.
so, in my dream (not the dream-within-a-dream), i was so frightened by the realizism--even though i was already dead--that my real, sleeping self was truly frightened. i couldn't go back to sleep.
i'm fine now and i realize the dream(s) were just that. i know God speaks through dreams, but i'm not convinced He had anything to say through this one. i'll just mark it up to weird and go on with my day.
but, i'll probably avoid busses, chaperones and apartment complexes for a few days.

2009-08-10T16:51:00.004-04:00

i can't believe it's been 2 months since i've typed my thoughts into this completely pointless and worthless website known as the blog of jared. time flies when you're not paying attention.

and, really, i don't have much to say today, except that i want to be real and genuine. i want to be completely transparent. i want to live without pretense or facade. hopefully, you know me to be like that.

and having said that, i want to type here that this blog is just my thoughts. i write things here that you may or may not agree with. sometimes i don't even agree with all the things i write. my thoughts are not always holy and reverent; sometimes i am raw and irrational. i want to be like Jesus, but that process isn't always neat and tidy. nonetheless, these words are my words and i own up to the things i say.
if you're blessed by them, i'd like to know that. but, then again, i don't need to know it. i'm glad that God spoke to you through me.
if you're offended by my words, that's your right, too. but, don't hold anger against me. there's no point in you committing a sin just because my words rubbed the wrong way. let's discuss it; let me know what i said that was hurtful to you.
if you don't like what i write or the way that i write, don't read it. my self-esteem doesn't ride on your approval of my blog. i didn't write it for you or your pleasure or really for anyone except myself. it is my catharsis.
if you look at me differently because of my transparency, that's OK too. so be it. i was not placed on this planet for your approval. i'm just a citizen of heaven, temporarily assigned to serve God in this place.
and, if you think this transparency speaks against my previous statements about being like Jesus, then let's discuss that too. i'm open to listening to your ideas on what a christian's attitude ought to be.

verbalize

2009-06-10T09:05:00.002-04:00

i often find it hard to verbalize what i'm thinking. sometimes things are so overwhelming that i can't express it. sometimes there are too many variables to condense into words. sometimes my head is too full to process everything. mostly, though, i'm confused by the polarity.
so, (no pun nor sarcasm intended) thank God for a Holy Spirit that interceeds on our behalf. for those times when we don't know how are what to pray--He takes care of it. whew! what a relief from worry about worrying! what a joy for joy unspeakable! what a liberation from bondage! what a help in my helplessness! what an aid in my brokenness!
of course, there are responsibilities that come with it, but it's totally worth it. to be a slave to Christ carries awesome responsibilities and awesome benefits. the paradox of freedom because of slavery is yet one more thing that requires the Holy Spirit to speak on my behalf--for i am speechless.

what now?

2009-06-08T09:06:00.003-04:00

Lord, what are You teaching me now?
what is the thing You want me to get through my thick head?
i simply ask that You show it to me, make me aware so that...well, as i pray, i realize every reason i can offer for 'why' i want to know is selfish. break my heart and my will and make me wholly Yours. teach me in Your good timing and within Your perfect will.
(show me what it means to be truly)
sincerely & humbly, i pray. amen.

back to it

2009-06-05T09:08:00.002-04:00

i've had a bit of "vacation" this week--that is, i've not been as diligent at some important issues as i should have been. time off is good; don't get me wrong on that. but, its time to snap back to it and get back into good habits and discipline.
please don't judge me too harshly, for i didn't fall into those habits. but, i'm ready to get back to the life that God blesses. and these things are the things i've been blogging about: reading, health, family time.

God above, keep my resolve true and sure. let me only do that which praises you in word, action and attitude. i am Yours and want to be appropriately bound to You in every nuance of my existence.

rerun

2009-06-03T10:12:00.000-04:00

re-read august 16, 2007.
it sums up everthing i want to say today. again.

a balance of realization (or a realization of balance)

2009-06-01T07:10:00.002-04:00

as sure as Jesus is returning, i know that most people don't realize how bad they actually feel. if "this" is normal, they'll label it as "fine". this is their point of reference; this is their standard. this is where they look to establish a baseline of health for all future questions.
the problem is that for most, this is not the best it can be. this is not what God created our bodies to do and to register as "normal". we acknowledge, spiritually speaking, that God has a greater design in mind for us, that He has a greater plan for us. i'm just not convinced that many realize that includes our health.
let me establish a couple of things before i go any further. first, i'm not trying to promote any agenda of healthy living or any miracle cure for the blahs. i'm not pronouncing judgement on anyone. i'm just raising questions and a challenge. secondly, i know that all disease and ill-health are results of the Fall (reference Genesis). Since we are all sinful people, we can't know the full potential for health and optimal-body-experience for which we were created. we've fallen from reaching that standard on this side of heaven (perhaps the "new body" is not actually any spiritual form, but simply a sin-untainted body of the same make and model).
it's just that we're making it worse than necessary.
i'm typing this from a local spot: baked goods, coffee and free wi-fi. but, as i look at the clientel of morning commuters: i can see 9 people, of which i am one. 6 of them are overweight, half of those are obese (one of them is morbidly obese). the guy at the table next to me is on his 4th cup of coffee in about 30 minutes.
again let me say: i'm not here to judge. but, i'm curious if they've ever been taught a better way. do they know that there is better health available without a perscription? do they know that Jesus loves them the way they are, but doesn't want them to stay that way? do they realize that good choices are all it takes--well, maybe that's the issue: choice. sounds like (at very least parallels the concept of) sin.
well, back to me, for i am the only one for which i am responsible and accountable. this whole visualization of a better life is because i'm "a bit groggy this morning". i'm usually not a morning personality, but my body sings "early in the morning our song shall rise to Thee." but, not today.
last night i didn't sleep well. i went for a walk this morning in hopes of reviving (which is nearly always the case with a brisk morning walk)--not so much. i took a hotter-than-usual shower, thinking it would perk me up--not the case. i need coffee. no, i enjoy coffee. but, to need it implies addiction.
why is my sorry self dragging this morning?
well, i'm not in a mood to confess too much to you in this particular blog post. but, as i look back over the past few days of the weekend, and in fact, the entire last week, i see a clear path of poor choices. not the least of which include: lack of exercise, poor food selections, overactive food selection (aka over-eating), irregular sleep choices--you see my point.

Oh my Lord, Creator of this body, i have failed to care for this temple in the way that pleases You. please help me to get rid of this mindset that allows for excessive bad choices and stark good choices in the name of americanism. create in me a willingness to face food choices with positivity and the knowledge that You empower me to choose well. let me not give into temptation. i am Yours. all of me: spirit, mind, body and emotions. amen.

update

2009-05-31T07:25:00.001-04:00

just wanted to pass along an update. i finished a book this weekend. sure, i started it more than 6 months ago, but in light of my previous post, i just wanted to let you know i'm taking myself seriously (but not too seriously).

reading

2009-05-29T07:48:00.002-04:00

i like to read, but i don't take time to do it. my to-do list of books is always growing and never shrinking--because i add to it without subtracting from it. so, i wonder what strategy i need to adopt in order to check them off. i wonder what will motivate me. i know that i typically can't put a book down once i start it, but its the starting that isn't happening.
suggestions or ideas?
well, as with all good things, i guess i'll have to take the first step. i'll set a goal and i'll go for it, for to try and fail is better than to never have tried at all.

200

2009-05-28T15:01:00.003-04:00

i'm so excited! today marks my 200th blog entry.
it's such a huge accomplishment to have the stick-with-it-ness to reach 200. i feel like a sitcom that reaches this status (that's almost 8 seasons--which is longer than i've blogged). but, when you make it past all the hype about the amazing, spectacular, collosal 200th episode, you might be disappointed. it just can't live up to the publicity.
so, i'll keep it simple. no hype, no fanfare, no expectations. for my 200th entry, i'll just say: i wonder what other things might be accomplished in my life if i invested in them instead of blogging?

greatness

2009-05-27T11:06:00.002-04:00

great accomplishment deserves great reward.
great freedom requires great responsibility and has great consequence.
great people are merely those motivated to prioritize and pursue.

life never goes as planned

2009-05-22T07:12:00.002-04:00

i've always known that i was different. i have unique interests, unique ideas, unique inspirations. i'm an original (just like everyone else). shows like 'the wonder years' always resounded with me because i suppose on the outside i look normal; on the inside, i know i'm different.
so, the thought has come to me this morning that in yet another facet of my life, i am different. the guy who didn't get married until he was 26 and didn't have kids until he was 32--it's his baby girl that is graduating from high school tomorrow. how did i end up with a 19-year old high school senior? it's a long story (that i'm always happy to share).
but, because of the originality of my storyline, i'm wondering what i'm supposed to be feeling and what to make of the things i am feeling.

she was never my baby, but i can't remember life before her
i didn't really watch her grow up, but i've seen her change before my eyes
i didn't teach her to ride a bike, but i've done my part to give her roots & wings
i'm not her dad, but she's definately my kid

i'm pleased and proud (those, i think, are normal). i'm nervous that she's ready to fly solo (also normal). i'm not ready to let go (normal); i'm not ready to admit that she's ready (normal). i think i did my best and i think it wasn't good enough.

it's a graduation for me as well, a rite of passage from "daily hand-holder" to "i'm always here when you need me." May God bless us both in His future for us.

2009-05-21T09:18:00.002-04:00

i'm sometimes overwhelmed by things that i know a little bit about. follow my logic...
if i understand a little bit about something, i can see the quality or lack of quality in various parts of that whole. in an attempt to have better insight into a subject, i begin to explore. it's the exploration that overwhelms me. there are so many variables (which despite the popular philosophy of "endless possibilities", i know, mathematically, are limited) that my mind boggles to try and account for it all.
then, i feel like a failure for i know i should be able to understand it.
perhaps you've felt the same thing (i'm counting on it in order to make a point). so, let me re-tell my story from above, paraphrasing along the way.
when i understand a little bit about the bible, i can see the basic truths: God created everything, Jesus died for me, etc. some various parts of the whole impact instantly and others seem irrelevant or pointless. so, in an attempt to have better insight into the book as a whole, i begin to explore. the the exploration that overwhelms me. there are so many books and people and sins and do's and don'ts, etc. i know the book only has so many pages, but my mind boggles to try and account for a limitless God within a limited book--and that leads to more overwhelming due to pondering of divine mysteries: revelation, infinitism, omniscience. then, i feel like a failure for i know i should be able to understand it. (and then my feeling of failure conflicts me for i know that i have been redeemed.)
take heart. you are not alone, nor isolated in your feelings. God hears your frustration and He will enlighten you--only as much as you need or can handle in the moment. then, from that moment, He leads us to the next.
so, allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the Word of God. to know it is to be overwhelmed by it. take it in stride. take small bites, chew well and enjoy the feast for it does, truly, feed the soul.

Divine Author, we ask for Your insight today. help us to read with understanding and to understand for the purpose of sharing insight with fellow readers.

a prayer for mothers

2009-05-11T14:50:00.002-04:00

Prayer for mothers
We pray for women, who through an abortive procedure, have forfeited their role as mother. Administer grace and teach them Your forgiveness.
We pray for birth mothers. Lord, fill the void in their hearts and let them never question the love they have for the children they bore.
We pray for xxpectant mothers – those who have not yet had a baby placed in their arms. Keep them healthy & well; calm their fears.
We pray for new mothers. Father, help them tap into the God-given instincts of motherhood; help them find the rest they need.
We pray for mothers of young children. Keep their energy high and give them a potter’s skill to mold their children into vessels to be used by God.
We pray for empty nesters and ask You to help them explore the boundaries of this newest phase of motherhood. Keep her children near her heart, if not near her arms.
We pray for all who mourn the death of their mother. Console them, comfort them; bring them beautiful memories of this woman in their lives.
Amen.

2009-05-10T07:03:00.001-04:00

· Though not everyone is a mother, everyone has a mother. They are important to recognize them because they are necessary.
· Proverbs 31 packages marriage and motherhood together. But, we acknowledge that not all wives are mothers—some by their own choice and others by God’s choice. But to those whom God has called to motherhood, we exhort you to reach for the standard presented in Proverbs 31.
· Likewise, we acknowledge that not all mothers are wives. Some women face the great task of parenting alone—for whatever choices or reasons, we see your strength in single-parent roles and exhort you to reach for the standard presented in Proverbs 31.
· We acknowledge that not all mothers have borne their own children. But from you we better understand the accepting nature of God’s loving adoption and exhort you also to reach for the standard presented in Proverbs 31.
· We acknowledge that not all mothers are good and loving. Some mothers are abusive, absent or selfish. It is difficult on Mother’s Day to honor those who have not been honorable. To you whose life is marked like this, we exhort you to reach for the standard presented in Proverbs 31.
o To you, women, we say, “break the cycle”. The pattern of Proverbs 31 will guide you to become a virtuous woman of God and do better than was done to you, whether as wife, mother or any other womanly calling God places on your life.
o To you, men, we say “build up your women”. Even as your mother, your spouse or your daughters, empower them to become a Proverbs 31 woman. The best thing you can do for your children is to invest in your wife.
· To everyone today, regardless of your relationship with your mother, be she living or deceased, present or distant, the good, the bad or the ugly: we must admit that we are who we are because of our mothers.
o Sometimes we are strong because of her constant love and care.
o Sometimes we are strong because we’ve had much to overcome
o Sometimes her example pointed us to God
o Sometimes her example left us no option but to turn to God
· So, on this day, we are pray for greater awareness of God’s ideal for mothers and we dignify those women that have done their very best, bringing us to our place in life.
· May God’s blessing be on you.

2009-05-01T15:04:00.002-04:00

this was a facebook status of mine, but it is still so profound to me that i had to post it somewhere more permanent. maybe i'm just a sap, but God is speaking very powerfully to me through the love of my children right now.

if heaven is anything like a day with my boys, i'm going to really enjoy heaven.

Lord, You alone deserve the praise for the way that You've brought our family together. How infinite is Your love for us. How wide and high and deep and long is the love of Christ.