daily dose

the new phase of my blogging is just for me.  I guess I've always done it for me and let you have a peek.  but specifically this time, I want a place to write MY thoughts.  I've tried paper journaling and its not for me.  I tried to find a journaling app and found that unless you what to journal toward a specific goal or want to spend money, the selection process is not as easy as just yanking the old blog out of storage to your vehicle for writing.

so for me, here it goes.

I'm having a pretty good day so far...though it's not lunch time yet.

I ate a mostly healthy breakfast of a fried country egg (country means local, not grocery store origination) with some green onions and a cup of my beloved coffee.

so far, I've been pretty productive in the office.  I'm looking forward to my afternoon with people I like (aka - piano lessons).  all in all, a good day.

its been a while, baby

it's been a while, baby.
within a month, it'll be a full 5 years since I logged in a typed anything.
much as changed in the last 5 years.  I'm not sure I can even remember all the changes.

but I feel like I need to write again.
this is my catharsis and you're welcome to come along for the ride.

i declare it so!

it strikes me how some people are self-appointed queen or king.  or at least with their words, they act as such.
i'm not really sure where i'm going with this train of thought, but this week has really brought to my attention the way that some people's words set the tone of the room instead of reflect the tone of the room.
i have no doubt...well, not much doubt...that their words reflect their reading of the situation.  however, i'm not convinced that anyone else feels the same way until they open their mouth, speak their mind and it all breaks loose.

• i've seen it in meetings where we're having cordial and engaging conversation.  but then someone jumps in unsolicited (or even just makes an off-handed comment), and the whole things turns south.  
• i've seen it with parents (who really do have much on their minds) who snap at their children or spouse, initiating a downward spiral of compounded stress.
• i've seen it in retail employees that let personal issues interfere with public professionalism, sparking a firestorm of bad business, irate customers and shoddy service.

it leads me to three points:

• first, we've got to get ourselves in check.  i am a firm believer in authenticity and transparency (even in a retail situation), but if you're words, actions, motives, etc. are poisoning a situation you MUST get yourself in check.  deal with things in a timely, appropriate manner.  do it for your own sake as well as those that have their own baggage to deal with and frankly, don't need you to add to their pile.  i'm not trying to preach hatred nor lack of sympathy; in fact, i empathize with you to the best of my abilities.  but we need to be aware of personal responsibility (how many religious, social and/or political issues would disappear with an increased sense of personal responsibility?).  and not just aware, but active!
• secondly, as i mentioned above, i want to help you through it.  i want to build you up, possibly by a release valve prior to causing damage with a blown top.  you are not alone.  you have friends, family...and me, wherever i fall between those two groups.  you've got the Lord as well.  personal responsibility does not mean solo action, per se.  get the help you need...and i'm available to you.
• thirdly, my personal responsibility question:  am i working to the fullest to not only avoid my needs spoiling a situation, but to do the opposite and build up a situation by the words i speak and the actions i perform?  if one person can bring down a room, then certainly i should be able to raise up a room!  at very least, i can lift a group in prayer.  and then as the Holy Spirit of God works through me, i can be prompted to speak intuitively and increase the potential of those present.  this is the very least i can do.

i write today cathartically.  my blog can be my therapy, my sounding board, my release valve.  i'm not sure that what i wrote is actually what i feel about it all.  i'm sorting through it and hope to fully understand.