i am not a writer

i am not a writer.
i love to write. i love the power of words. i am impressed by the ability words have (and demonstrate) to inspire, challenge, poke, prod, teach, admonish, rebuke, taint, convict, etc.
somewhere in my upbringing (everything that is me up to now. up to now. up to now (i'm constantly learning). up to now.) i caught a vision of potential for effective communication. i'm pretty sure RWB had a lot to do with that.
but, as i sit in front of my computer today, i realize that words are not my gift.
i figured out my deficiency because my morning was so perfect. it was one of those moments that you want to say "words can't describe", but then you find a poem by keats or byron or shakespeare or longfellow or angelou or hughes or silverstein or hallmark or anonymous that does, in fact, describe. it captures with words. in black and white, without clip art or doodles, the writer's words expresses the visual, audio, spiritual, emotional snapshot of "it".
you can call "it" a moment or a mood or mental image or whatever...the words sum up, contain, explain or otherwise rematerialize the experience. this is the power of words. this is why the gospel of john begins as it does: "in the beginning was The Word..."
ok, back to life, back to reality.
i'm not a writer, but i really want to blog about my perfect morning. so, to you, the reader, here's my disclaimer: read at your own risk and keep in mind that my puny words just won't do it justice.
i got up early (which is never a good start to a morning) and despite being tired-er than usual for a monday morning, i did my wii-walk. in fact, i bumped it up a bit, doing almost 15 minutes more than i typically do. i hate to exercise, but i love the effects of it and i'm almost convinced that it's worth it. (now, this is one of the writing things i'm talking about. as i re-read that sentence i'm not sure that i really captured the sarcasm that i was intending about exercise, it's benefits and rewards.)
after an invigorating hot shower, i got dressed in some of my favorite clothes: jeans, sweater and comfortable casual shoes. had a hearty breakfast and proceeded to my weekly coffee meeting. (i again missed to write effectively. "coffee meeting" has double-entendre here. i meet in a location where coffee is served. but, it's really good coffee and i look forward to the cup meeting my lips. both were especially good today.)
i then proceeded to the pinnacle of my morning, my commute. the brisk temperature and resultant visible breath, the flourish of fall foliage, good tune on the zune and a sunrise that brought to mind the concepts of Creation--this is the exact same orb in the heavens that adam gazed upon, and now also to adamson. it was amazing. it was a moment that confirmed my faith in God. if my life was a movie, this would have been the slow-motion montage.
i realize that my words can describe all the elements of "the moment", but they still don't sum up the experience. maybe better words will come to my mind; probably not. maybe i'll enroll in an on-line writing course to improve my skill set; probably not. maybe i'll...; probably not.
but, when my wife asks how my day was, i'll grin and say, "fine".

new music

i'm not one to ride the bandwagon of the latest and greatest in worship music. i like worship music, but not because it's new or old or is a hymn or a praise song format or is piano-driven, guitar-driven, a cappella, etc. i love God and it is my humble honor and duty to worship Him. for me, music is a great vehicle to carry my praise to the throne.
but, there are 3 new songs that have really touched me lately. i print the lyrics here so that you too can mediate on them.

Desert Song by Brooke Fraser
This is my prayer in the desert, when all that's within me feels
dry.
This is my prayer in my hunger and need. My God is the God who
provides.
This is my prayer in the fire, in weakness or trial or pain.
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold. So, refine me,
Lord, through the flame.
This is my prayer in the battle, when triump is still on it's
way.
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ, so firm on His promise
I'll stand
I will bring praise. I will bring praise. No weapon
formed against me shall remain.
I will rejoice. I will declare, God is my victory and He is
here.
This is my prayer in the harvest, when favor and providence
flow.
I know I'm filled to be emptied again. The seed I've received I
will sow.

Fade With Our Voices by Jason Gray and Jason Ingram
After all the songs are sung and our prayers for kingdom come, did we
bring honor to the words we sang?
Does our worship have hands? Does it have feet? Does it
stand up in the face of injustice? Does our worship bow down? Does
it run deep? Is it more than a song that fades with our voices? Does
it fade with our voices?
Lord, it's You we long to please. Make our lives a melody that we
proclaim when we live in Jesus name.
Does our worship have hands? Does it have feet? Does it
stand up in the face of injustice? Does our worship bow down? Does
it run deep? Is it more than a song that fades with our voices? Does
it fade with our voices?
So, if we raise our hands high, let us also reach them out. And
if we lift our voices up, let it be the sound of love.

Remembrance by Matt Maher and Matt Redman
Oh how could it be that my God would welcome me into this
mystery?
Say "Take this bread, take this wine." Now the simple made divine for
any to receive.
by Your mercy we come to Your table.
by Your grace You are making us faithful.
Lord, we remember You--and remembrance leads us to worship.
and as we worship You, our worship leads to communion.
we respond to Your invitation, we remember You.
See His body, His blood, know that He has overcome every gtrial we will
face.
None too lost to be saved, none to broken or ashamed, all are welcome
in this place.
by Your mercy we come to Your table.
by Your grace You are making us
faithful.
Lord, we remember You--and remembrance leads us to worship.
and
as we worship You, our worship leads to communion.
we respond to Your
invitation, we remember You.
Dying, You destroyed our death. Rising, You restored our
life.
Lord Jesus, come in glory! Lord Jesus, come in glory!

small world and a great quote

i feel like i've written a lot about miss saigon recently.
yup, i have.
i felt like i ought to branch out, but it's consumed me and it is my life right now. so, it makes sense to me that my life lessons (the things God is teaching me and leading me through) come from my experiences in and around the show.
so, here's another one...
one of my fellow cast members had a death in his family this week. it was an unexpected blow to the family (as these cases often are), but they seem to be grieving appropriately. it was hard with rehearsals to make time to attend any part of the memorial to support him, but i was able to make it to the funeral on thursday morning.
i really enjoyed the message of the pastor (whom i did not know). it was very appropriate for such a time. one thing he said that really impacted me even though i didn't know the decedent is that "no man can offer comfort, that is God's job. but, our availability shows we care."
so many times, i try to formulate the right thing to say in so many diverse situations. i try to figure out how, in 25 words or less, to express my heart and empathy. (i do have a heart and empathy, though i never feel like i show it well, hence my desire for words.) but, the preacher's words gently reminded me to get out of the way, to shut my mouth and let God work through me. my availability to God will translate to availability to those in need.
so God, i pray that you use me every day and in every way to show forth Your light. i am Your vessel to be used for Your purposes.
after the service, i saw an old friend--someone that didn't know yet about our youngest son. it was nice to reminice for a short time and to remind her that there was a church family that loved her and would love to see her again soon and often. as we were about to part ways, it dawned on me that i didn't know her connection to the departed. so, i asked. it turns out that she worked with him at a local establishment. it is a small world.
my prayers will now double--comfort for the family and friends of the departed will continue, but i will also add prayers for the prodigal to return home.
God, bless us, everyone.