this past sunday we experienced something new.
it's something we've always secretly wanted, but were often afraid to admit that out loud.
i don't know if we'll ever experience it again, but while it lasted it was wonderful.
on sunday evening we were able to reunite with our youngest son's birthmother and her family. we met in a park and spent the biggest part of two hours together. we talked the entire time; we hugged a lot. we shared food together and listened to one of us complain about the blazing hot potato chips and the low-fat vegetable dip. it was a great day.
literally and figuratively, the sun was shining and the day was perfect.
everyone took turns holding the baby; his birthmother was able to take a turn to feed him.(which i certainly appreciated for it is my least favorite of the baby duties. in my book, it ranks up there with poopie.) i can honestly say that i have never seen emmaus so relaxed and calm. he didn't sleep nor nap, but was the essence of content. he smiled a lot at the 'crazy lady' (inside joke).
it made us realize that we are not only blessed by the birth of our son, but we are blessed to have crossed paths with this family. we have often wondered how we should label our relationship--are we friends? are we family? are we just two sheeps that passed in the night? whatever we are, we are bonded by our common ground of emmaus.
now, for the revelation of the situation.
we were all gathered (and there were more than a few of us there) because of the son. he is what brought us together; he is what holds us together. his presence is the basis for everything we say, do, think or experience together.
we talked about other things, but mostly our conversation was about the son. all of us talked about the ways that he has changed our lives. all of us talked about the hardships and struggles that have come about because he is in our lives. we covered so many topics in our conversations, but generally speaking, all of it revolved around and flowed out of our relationship to the son.
we have a shared life because of the son. we may not see them again for a while. we may never see them again. but, we are changed for the better because of it all.
i have a new understanding of the assembly now--the worship assembly, that is. we are called to gather in the name of the Son, Jesus Christ. He is what brings us together; He is what holds us together. His presence is the basis for everything we say, do, think or experience together. see where this is going?
you can take this analogy so much further, and believe me, in my mind, i have. but, for sake of time i won't write too much more of it here. as for the reunion i spoke of, it was like nothing i have ever experienced in my life. it was emotionally draining and uplifting at the same time. if it's something you have ever experienced, you know what i'm talking about; if you haven't (or can't because you have no experience with adoption) been in something like this, you'll never fully understand what i'm writing about.
but, i'm clearer on my responsibility as a worship leader now. it's not enough to just bring people together through a common language of music. as much as it depends on me, i must bring people together in the name of the Son. that's how we're called to gather and i must empower that. then, when that happens as often as we gather, we will never have to say to anyone around us "you can't understand what i'm talking about", for the invitation is open to all who will receive.
Jehovah-Jireh, my Provider, You have called me to be a father to this precious child. You have empowered me to accomplish the task. You have enpassioned me to work toward the goal. And, You have given me joy, pleasure and love in my relationship with emmaus. i cannot measure my gratitude, but Your Holy Spirit intercedes on my behalf to express what my human vocabulary cannot.
also, You have brought together two families from different places and different ways of life, but i praise You and thank You for the ways that we are able to share life together. even if we never learn how to label our relationship, we know how we are connected through the common bond we share in emmaus and in You. i ask You to bless the birthfamily. You know each one and their needs. please bring to them grace, healing and reliance on You. let them experience Your forgiveness, and no longer let them feel shame.
i am humbled more than ever in my calling to lead Your people to worship. i am so inadequate to the task, so i ask for a filling of Your Spirit. remove me from me; let me be only what Your Spirit makes me.
i need more and more of You in my life.
