i'm beginning to see the light!

"And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14

i'm not really sure how to begin writing today. do i outline the whole scenario or just the highlights? is that information really relevant to the point i want to make? can i make my point without some background?
well, here goes...
i am confident that God manipulates the rules of His universe to allow me to be involved with community theater. i don't have time to do this, and yet it works out (and relationships do not suffer because of it). sometimes i can't remember my own phone number and i call my kids by the wrong name, and yet i can memorize 2 1/2 hours of music, script and choreography--God clearly leads this adventure.
and i am confident that God uses me in the fellowships of these groups. many an actor has asked, "what's my motivation?" i never need ask that, for being used by God is my motivation. i plant seeds as i participate in art (what a great combination!).
well, this current show is no different. i knew i was being placed in a role because God wanted me there (and the director thought she made that choice). despite all the questions and soul searching i had to do prior to auditions (to see if this particular show was beneficial or just permissible), i knew i had a bigger role awaiting me.
well, this week was very dickensian at rehearsal--it was the best of times and it was the worst of times. i won't go into the details for they now are in the past. but, in the midst of those details i was able to pray with a castmate. i don't know where he is in his faith-journey. he may be atheist or agnostic for all i know, but God used the moment and we (me, my castmate, the cast, the show and the situation) are all blessed because i, like esther, was placed for such a time as this. this is not a brag blog, but simply a testimony of God's enduring faithfulness and confirmation of His hand's presence in my life.
maybe that's the end of the story, but i have an idea that a sequel is not too far away. i will pray for and with more castmates! besides, and i say this in all seriousness, this is a HUGE show and we'll never make it through without God's help.

thank You, Lord, for helping me overcome my fears and stepping in faith to pray with my friend. You are an amazing Being. i'll never understand You completely, but You always confirm to me Your heart is true. make me, shape me, form me ever more into Your likeness--a reflection of You.

patience

i just have to be real. it's a call from heaven, but also, it's who i am (mostly because of the call from heaven). i want to be a "what you see is what you get" kind of guy. no pretense and no facade.
so, i have to say upfront that i'm learning patience through our production of miss saigon. i'm so excited about the show that i want to be making bigger strides and sooner. i'm ready for the pressure of tech week. i want... i want... i want...
wait, there's the rub. whenever it becomes about "me", i loose patience--not with myself per se. when i let it become about me, i loose sight of a bigger perspective. this is an "us" thing, not a "me" thing.
so, then i have to step away from myself and look at the group and know that we are progressing, moving forward. it's a daunting show to try and pull off and there are many tees to be dotted and eyes to be crossed before we open in about 2 months.

Lord, teach me patience. and, let me use these 2 months wisely and for Your purposes (You have me here for a reason).