for my entire life, i've been taught that grace is a gift freely given to all. it's true; i don't deny the truth of it. but, here's what i've come to realize: grace as a gift is like a washer and dryer for christmas. you're glad to have the set. you're excited by the possibilities. but, the simple truth is that you're in for a lot of hard work.
in the end, you come out looking better if you invest in the work it requires (just like grace).
Friday, September 26, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
it finally happened
so, it finally happened.
i became a real dad this week.
the last great and truest standard of rite of passage happened this week.
i had to take my kid to the ER.
everything is working out now, but of course, in the moment, it wasn't the experience i wanted. and of course, in retrospect, there are humorous elements. i share them with you now for you can probably relate.
so, all day sunday, emmaus was fussy. he didn't distract in church and most people would never have known. but, we saw it and thought it had to do with his reflux. we took all precautions and treatment options. he even had a quick trip to the chiropractor (which is a blessing to have one as a neighbor that is willing to open shop for 10 minutes on a sunday afternoon). he seemed to be relaxing a bit, so we brought him to the church picnic.
he was passed around quite a bit with many tidbits of matronly advice discussed over his fussiness. but, as these saintly women took turns trying to quiet him, they seemed to be doing the trick.
after the picnic, we went home and he wouldn't go to sleep; and, he wouldn't eat (now you know something is really wrong). of course, rhonda did everything she knew to do, but to no relief. the crying was escalating to screaming at times and their was no calming him down. we called the pediatrician's on-call doctor. they made the recommendation and we took off for the hospital. we decided that rhonda would stay home since israel & kara were both sleeping deeply by then.
we arrive at...(name withheld because i'm not sure i trust their medical prowess any longer)...around 1:30am. of course, the women nurses were immediately attentive to this adorable little baby. i'm not sure they cared he was crying as much as they were glad to have an opportunity to try and comfort him. i'm pretty sure the red-headed one ovulated right there in the waiting room.
as i'm filling out paperwork, etc. it comes out that his adoption is not yet finalized. that shot up the red flags! "we must call children's services and report this!" thank God that we had the forsight to bring along all of our placement documents. but, they insisted to try and call every number of the agency that i could possibly find in my cell phone (5 different numbers to be exact). in the end, they realized that our paper work was legit (they made copies of everything to cover their hinies) and we proceeded on in.
now, if i can take a moment here and interject something i noticed about the hospital staff. i would estimate that 85% of the hospital workers we encountered were severely overweight. granted, i'm a lot more sensitive to that these days. but, i'm not sure we should trust our health to people who can't seem to be trusted with their own health. also, the odor of cigarette smoke was on more than a few, and then confirmed when they spoke--it's easy to tell when they speak.
but, they were very friendly and seemed to be concerned about us both. it wasn't a busy night for them, so we quickly went back to be examined.
keep in mind, this entire time emmaus is crying.
finally someone comes in to get a medical history. which of course, in that he was just born in june, he doesn't really qualify as "history." they told us that so-and-so would be in soon. my ears perked up when they didn't announce them as "dr. so-and-so". and my supposition was correct when doogie howser walked in. he told me that he wasn't a doctor, but the doctor would confirm any findings. he listened to his heart and lungs and looked in his eyes and ears. "it's an ear infection." and he walked out. dr. somebody came in, looked only at emmaus's ears, and said, "yup, it's an ear infection." then he left. no discussion, no questions, no assurance that everything would be OK.
we were given a perscription and dismissed. i asked how quickly they perscription would provide relief. "oh, it won't for 5 days. just give him advil."
now, i can understand that the medicine takes 5 days for full effect, but for this poor baby to be in pain for 5 days is not really an option for something as minor as an ear ache. but, when the doctor speaks, i listened.
then began the odyssey of finding a 24-hour pharmacy. rhonda and i were on the cell phones and she's looking things up in the phone book and i'm starting to drive in some direction, hoping it's the right one. ironically, the pharmacy we found is literally across the street from our adoption agency! emmaus and i go in. he's still crying. we go to the pharmacy and begin the process to fill the perscription. she takes one look at our insurance card and says, "we don't take that any more." i vaguely remembered that, but as we don't go to walgreens for perscriptions anyway, it didn't cross my mind. i asked if she might know where the closest in our plan might be. "colrain and galbraith." that would have been another 30-45 minute drive for us and probably would have been more than an hour drive back to our home. so, to paraphrase a famous quote: "darn the insurance--full speed ahead!" we filled it there and paid full price.
they came the next adventure of finding advil, like the doctor told us to use. we discovered that they don't make infant advil. the pharmacist told us that infant motrin is the same thing. but, the label said it was for 6 months and older (emmaus is not yet 4 months). "oh no! you can't give him that. his liver isn't developed enough yet." she set us straight and we are using infant tylenol.
we finally made it home around 3:30am. i realize that this is a very short adventure as these things can go. but, of course, i was exhausted. so was emmaus. so was rhonda. kara and israel had no idea that anything happened (they do now). i stayed home with him monday and tuesday.
thank you to everyone who prayed for him. he is showing signs of improving, but the process is slow in a body so small.
disclaimer: i realize our story is no different than yours. we all have these moments. i'm not claiming that ours is worse or more severe than yours. i just needed to get it all out.
i became a real dad this week.
the last great and truest standard of rite of passage happened this week.
i had to take my kid to the ER.
everything is working out now, but of course, in the moment, it wasn't the experience i wanted. and of course, in retrospect, there are humorous elements. i share them with you now for you can probably relate.
so, all day sunday, emmaus was fussy. he didn't distract in church and most people would never have known. but, we saw it and thought it had to do with his reflux. we took all precautions and treatment options. he even had a quick trip to the chiropractor (which is a blessing to have one as a neighbor that is willing to open shop for 10 minutes on a sunday afternoon). he seemed to be relaxing a bit, so we brought him to the church picnic.
he was passed around quite a bit with many tidbits of matronly advice discussed over his fussiness. but, as these saintly women took turns trying to quiet him, they seemed to be doing the trick.
after the picnic, we went home and he wouldn't go to sleep; and, he wouldn't eat (now you know something is really wrong). of course, rhonda did everything she knew to do, but to no relief. the crying was escalating to screaming at times and their was no calming him down. we called the pediatrician's on-call doctor. they made the recommendation and we took off for the hospital. we decided that rhonda would stay home since israel & kara were both sleeping deeply by then.
we arrive at...(name withheld because i'm not sure i trust their medical prowess any longer)...around 1:30am. of course, the women nurses were immediately attentive to this adorable little baby. i'm not sure they cared he was crying as much as they were glad to have an opportunity to try and comfort him. i'm pretty sure the red-headed one ovulated right there in the waiting room.
as i'm filling out paperwork, etc. it comes out that his adoption is not yet finalized. that shot up the red flags! "we must call children's services and report this!" thank God that we had the forsight to bring along all of our placement documents. but, they insisted to try and call every number of the agency that i could possibly find in my cell phone (5 different numbers to be exact). in the end, they realized that our paper work was legit (they made copies of everything to cover their hinies) and we proceeded on in.
now, if i can take a moment here and interject something i noticed about the hospital staff. i would estimate that 85% of the hospital workers we encountered were severely overweight. granted, i'm a lot more sensitive to that these days. but, i'm not sure we should trust our health to people who can't seem to be trusted with their own health. also, the odor of cigarette smoke was on more than a few, and then confirmed when they spoke--it's easy to tell when they speak.
but, they were very friendly and seemed to be concerned about us both. it wasn't a busy night for them, so we quickly went back to be examined.
keep in mind, this entire time emmaus is crying.
finally someone comes in to get a medical history. which of course, in that he was just born in june, he doesn't really qualify as "history." they told us that so-and-so would be in soon. my ears perked up when they didn't announce them as "dr. so-and-so". and my supposition was correct when doogie howser walked in. he told me that he wasn't a doctor, but the doctor would confirm any findings. he listened to his heart and lungs and looked in his eyes and ears. "it's an ear infection." and he walked out. dr. somebody came in, looked only at emmaus's ears, and said, "yup, it's an ear infection." then he left. no discussion, no questions, no assurance that everything would be OK.
we were given a perscription and dismissed. i asked how quickly they perscription would provide relief. "oh, it won't for 5 days. just give him advil."
now, i can understand that the medicine takes 5 days for full effect, but for this poor baby to be in pain for 5 days is not really an option for something as minor as an ear ache. but, when the doctor speaks, i listened.
then began the odyssey of finding a 24-hour pharmacy. rhonda and i were on the cell phones and she's looking things up in the phone book and i'm starting to drive in some direction, hoping it's the right one. ironically, the pharmacy we found is literally across the street from our adoption agency! emmaus and i go in. he's still crying. we go to the pharmacy and begin the process to fill the perscription. she takes one look at our insurance card and says, "we don't take that any more." i vaguely remembered that, but as we don't go to walgreens for perscriptions anyway, it didn't cross my mind. i asked if she might know where the closest in our plan might be. "colrain and galbraith." that would have been another 30-45 minute drive for us and probably would have been more than an hour drive back to our home. so, to paraphrase a famous quote: "darn the insurance--full speed ahead!" we filled it there and paid full price.
they came the next adventure of finding advil, like the doctor told us to use. we discovered that they don't make infant advil. the pharmacist told us that infant motrin is the same thing. but, the label said it was for 6 months and older (emmaus is not yet 4 months). "oh no! you can't give him that. his liver isn't developed enough yet." she set us straight and we are using infant tylenol.
we finally made it home around 3:30am. i realize that this is a very short adventure as these things can go. but, of course, i was exhausted. so was emmaus. so was rhonda. kara and israel had no idea that anything happened (they do now). i stayed home with him monday and tuesday.
thank you to everyone who prayed for him. he is showing signs of improving, but the process is slow in a body so small.
disclaimer: i realize our story is no different than yours. we all have these moments. i'm not claiming that ours is worse or more severe than yours. i just needed to get it all out.
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