motivation?

i'm tired of it. sometimes i can pollyanna the whole thing away, but today i don't think i can deal with it any more.
i am sick of people motivated only by selfish means. i suppose i could deal with it if it just happened outside of the church, but more and more narcisism creeps in. it hurts me in the deepest part of my soul for it seems like the world is having more and more impact on the church instead of Christ's church having an impact on culture. does Christ still change the hearts of His people. who is winning this war?
would you think it fair to say that a heart not being changed by Christ does not actually belong to Him? the Bible says there ought to be fruit of the Spirit's presence. i'm not seeing fruit.

• i am seeing commitments unfulfilled.
• i am seeing lies justified by "whoops".
• i am seeing families falling apart. (well, maybe it would be more accurate to say i'm seeing families walking apart. when each member goes their own way, eventually they are no longer together).
• i am seeing a decrease in ability to find workers for the harvest.
• i am seeing a building that is full and a church that is empty.

Scripture tells us to "ask the Lord of the harvest to send workers into the field". i understand (and struggle with) the notion that not everyone has the gift of evangelism. but, i also understand that prayer is never mentioned in the list of gifts because it is not a spiritual gifting, but rather a spiritual responsibility. when i connect those two ideas i see that the Lord seems to have stopped sending workers because those already in His Kingdom have stopped asking Him to do it.

that's why i'm tired of it.

we can't even pray anymore because it's incovenient--except when we need help. to think of others first (and lift them up in prayer) isn't in our agendas. but, if we need help, then God must answer to us.

sorry sisters, it don't work that way; sorry brothers, it won't roll that way.

to You, Emmanuel, i pray today for i need You to be with me. i know it is not my place to judge the thoughts and actions of men, but i'm discouraged by the lack of fruit. in whatever way i can be used, use me. i pledge to You all that i am and all that i have. remind me (gently, please) of the all that "all" includes. i pray for my church as well. bring us all together as one--Yours. let there not be a single selfish thought among us. replace our selfish spirits with the mind of Christ, for Your glory, for Your honor, for Your benefit. soli Deo gloria!

random thoughts

last night was a night to recognize the blessings of our lives and to give credit where credit is due (to God, the giver of all blessings--you remember, "praise God from whom all blessings flow...").
well, it strikes me more and more how blessed i am. everytime i examine one of my blessings, it train-of-thoughts into a web of even more blessings that support the first blessing i thought of.
for instance:

1. i am blessed by my friends at church, therefore
2. i am blessed by my friends of discipleship group, and
3. i am blessed by my team of workers in the worship arts ministry, and
4. i am blessed by my family, which
5. i met my wife at church, and
6. my neice/daughter worships with us and is one of the above mentioned workers in the worship arts ministry, and
7. our son would not be our son if not for the prayers and support of my friends at church, so
8. i'm even more blessed by my friends at church, which really creates a circle of blessings in my life

this reminds me of an old amy grant song (actually written by rich mullins)

If you see the moon rising gently on your fields; If the wind blows softly on your face. If the sunset lingers while the cathedral bells peal and the moon has risen to her place...

You can thank the Father for the things he has done. Thank Him for the things He's yet to do. And if you find a love that's tender, if you find someone who's true, thank the Lord. He's been doubly good to you.

If you look in the mirror at the end of a hard day and you know in your heart you have not lied. If you gave love freely. If you earned an honest wage and if you've got Jesus by your side...

You can thank the Father for the things he has done. Thank Him for the things He's
yet to do. And if you find a love that's tender, if you find someone who's true, thank the Lord. He's been doubly good to you.

Thank You, Lord. You've been doubly, triply, quadruply, undeniably good to me.

look close

as they say, teething bites. look closely, they are just poking through on the bottom.

these are just a few of the pictures from our F.R.O.G. party. thanks again to everyone who came. we are blessed because of you and your support. let's do it again real soon (wink, wink).

i hate when i forget things

well, this was supposed to be the blog post about what a great time we had on friday night celebrating israel's finalization with his peeps, but i forgot the camera! we took pix, but you'll have to wait at least until wednesday to see them.
thank you to all of you for the support, prayers, love and encouragement over this past year. it's hard to believe that at this time last year, though we were waiting for a call, we had no idea that there was this beautiful baby that would come into our lives and change everything forever. yeah, it's really cool that God can create planets out of nothing, but it amazes me to see the ways he orchestrates people and times and places to intersect and bring blessings. You go, God!
we do ask for prayers as we want to go down this road again and adopt more children (did i really say that in the plural?). israel's adoption took just slightly longer than the national average. we'd like to reduce that time, but are waiting to see what God has in store.

Father, thank You for all the people you've placed in my path--the good, the bad and the ugly. no matter how they've touched me, i am who i am because of that interaction. i pray that you very quickly bring another such interaction with a baby that will bear my name. and, i ask sincerely that you bring this baby in a time frame that seems quick to me, not necessarily quick according to your "a thousand years is like a day".