A-words

today, i realize that i am "available" for whatever God brings my way.

therefore i will keep my eyes toward the end, but keep my heart in the moment.

i will avoid:

• anger
• attitude
• admiration of self
• arrogance
• audacity

i will choose:

• amore!
• allowance for grace
• all things Philippians 4:8
• "and" instead of "or"
• absolution

Lord, you hold us in Your hand.  we ask for clear pathways, but rest in Your guidance.  we keep our eyes toward the future, but live in this moment for here is the place where You shape us, mold us, change us and build us.  may we ever be more like You.

what's in a name?

shakespeare asked it first.  what's in a name?

and as it turns out, quite a bit.

think of all the labels we carry daily.  father.  mother.  worker.  musician.  friend.  lover.  child of the one true king (yup, love that song).  caregiver.  cook.  yada yada, you get it.

i think of the old testament practice to assign names with deeper meaning.  caleb = dog.  (who names their kid dog?)  so many cultures have done that.  and while we make fun of starmoonchild from the 70s, its not a shameful practice.  in fact, its kinda cool to hear name stories.  where did your name come from?  were you named after a famous person?  were you named after great-grandmother?  do you have a bible name?  do you and all your siblings start with the same letter?

here's the story of our boys' names.

our current youngest, Emmaus:  Emmaus is the name of a town mentioned in the bible only in one story.  but it's a post-resurrection story!  and there is one translation that begins, "there were two on a journey to Emmaus..."  that's us!  our entire lives have been journeying toward Emmaus.  we certainly haven't stopped there, but our life lines aligned and we are blessed.
and his birth mom's name is Emma...which is the first four letters of his name.
our oldest son, Israel:  also a bible name, but this time, a person.  and there is so much more good stuff about the life of (biblical) Israel than we admire and desire to see characteristically in our son (and some things to avoid, let's be honest).
and his birth mom's name is Lisa...four letters in his name as well.

so now that we consider another adoption, names are floating through our head.  we're screwed if we get a birthmother named Sheneequa!  but no matter how it all works out, she'll have our surname because she will be a part of family.

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

these are the questions i'm asking myself this week in regards to the zig zag in my pathway.

• is it true?  sometimes it seems like it can't be true, but we know the Father is faithful and will not deceive us with false blessings.
• is it noble?  that's a hard concept that is somewhat foreign to us today.  we don't often think of nobility without picturing a monarch (which is not the case here).  in this case, we are referring to "something of high moral character".  i suppose that to be true and applicable, though i don't want to elevate.  too often in our attempt to draw positive attention to acts of goodwill and Biblical obedience, we cross the line into pride or lack of humility.  i don't want attention for this because of morality.  i simply want to obey.  If or when i heard "well done, good and faithful servant..." then my reward will be complete.  i confess that i'm struggling a lot with them one right now.
• is it right?  yes! yes! yes!
• is it pure?  as with my struggle with nobility, i struggle to keep my thoughts of this pure.  and that, i don't mean in a sexualized manner, but rather to keep my thoughts focused on the Father and His role in this carefully orchestrated endeavor.  if ever i switch to thinking about me, i become impure in my motives and actions.  let me keep my perspective at all times.
• is it lovely?  ...and now i have that stevie wonder song in my head!
• is it admirable?  in this situation, of which i hope to speak more openly very soon, those that i admire are not me, but rather those that are sacrificing so greatly for so many.  star trek taught us that sometimes the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.  then they taught us that sometimes the needs of the few or the one outweigh the need of the many.  i'm not sure which is which in this scenario, but i see some people sacrificing self for the needs of others.  i admire that and strive to do the same.
• is it excellent or praiseworthy?  i'm not sure of how a proper hermeneutic would render this phrase of the passage, but i feel that these terms are the sum of the previous questions.  if this situation (or any one for that matter) meets the criteria, then yes, it is excellent and praiseworthy.  Lord, that i would always live an excellent life that shows You to be worthy of praise.

emotional toe touches

it's not so much that i mind toe touches as a form of exercise, but the up-down-up-down-up-down-up-down (yes, sometimes i'm so tired that by the end i just stay down) is annoying.
and so this week, we found our emotional being to be doing toe touches:  up-down-up-down...you get the picture.

...plus, i can't talk about it all just yet...which really stinks because that'd be a great release.

so what can i type here thats revealing without being too revealing?

well, let me deal with the upper story here instead of the lower.  and in case you're unfamiliar with the concept of upper and lower story, take a quick lesson from the Hobbit.  a great movie and an even greater book.  in it, as with much great literature, there are lower stories.  you could call these "episodes".

• there's that one part where Bilbo goes...
• remember when they're all stuck...
• and then, just before the end, when there's that...

each of these are like little stories on their own.  and yet they actually point to the greater story (the one ring to rule them all).

so it is with us:  this particular thing that's been so up-down-up-down is really just a lower story in our lives.  but it's causing us to see an upper story, a theme running throughout.  because of these pericope of life, we are seeing God more clearly.

• we are seeing the prayers are multitudes of saints on our behalf being recognized in a single event.  some prayers that are 25+ years old
• we are seeing God as faithful, patient and kind--attributes we crave and will need in abundance in the coming weeks.
• we are seeing opportunity to share our faith in a remarkable way.
• we are seeing human beings, sacrificing greatly for the better good, which restores some of our faith in God's hand working through the lives of those who love him.

soon this story will have a name and a face.  until then, Lord, we rest in Your promises and ask for your peace & patience to come over us all.