humbling

those that know me, know that we've adopted three times, sort of.

the oldest one never filed any formal paperwork, but she's ours and we love her equally (even though she's driving me crazy, crazy, crazy!). the younger two are both technically, officially, openly adopted.

here's something you may not know about our adoptions: we have openness with birthfamilies.

i don't ask that any of you try to understand the "what" or "why" of open adoption. all i can say is that for us, it was the right thing to do. if we adopt again, we may not have openness, but for now, we know we are blessed because of it.

anyway, i only mention that to set the ground work to tell you about my humbling experience.

part of our openness is to write semi-frequently. i suppose many would say that we correspond often once you hear how many times we write each month, but compared to my mother who was a letter-writing machine, we'll leave it at "semi-frequently".

also, in our openness, we get together. this is not as often, but that's merely a logistical thing--to schedule two families and traveling isn't always easy nor convenient with life's busy-ness.

however, at our last visit with son #1's birthmother, she asked if we were going to adopt again. we don't really have secrets from her, so we were open and told her yes. we definately want to adopt again. our boys are praying "for more babies to come to our family, another boy and a little girl." we told her a little about or financial planning to be able to afford the process again.

as we do with everyone that asks us, we told her, with a grin, she could recruit for us--that if she knew of someone facing a choice of creating an adoption plan for their baby, then we could make it work out to connect with them. realistically, this could save us considerable amounts of money, because no agencies would have to be involved. it's not about the cost, but it's certainly a consideration.

well, that's the backstory. now for the humilty.

we got a letter from her yesterday. it always brightens our day to hear from her. my wife and i tease each other over who gets to read it first (she beat me this time).

i couldn't believe when i read it that she told us that she was actually talking to pregnant women about us! she not only "brags" about us and our son (she knows and is very careful to not call him her son. we respect her deeply for that.), but she has come to a place of healing that allows her to move past the guilt to a place of helping others experience peace.

i suppose she'll always have regret--not regret for her choice, but for the life choices that forced her situation to require such a choice. but peace has come to her heart.

as an adoptive parent, i can't imagine a higher praise than for a birth family to work for you to bring healing to others. this is a tangled web of weirdness, and yet there is peace and trust and, above all, love.

dear Lord, please bring more babies to our family, another boy and a little girl. and please continue to bring peace and healing through her (You know her name and hold her close). and not just for the blessing of my son, but more so for the relationship with her, we thank you for bringing her into our lives. she is a remarkable woman and she has a divine calling on her life. for any woman and/or man that is facing a choice, i pray for your peace and guidance on them, even if...especially if they don't believe in You.

and Lord, let me be your vessel to bring healing and peace wherever you plant me.