a day off?
i survived it, all by myself.

it's amazing how refreshed you feel after a good night's sleep.
i know there are lots of reasons and ways to sleep poorly, but when it works it's amazing.

thank You, God, for the rest You promised. i needed it, but You already knew that.

i hate it when 30 minute meetings take 75 minutes.
i hate it when you ask my opinion, but don't want it.
i hate it when you expect me to pick up your slack, last minute, again.

i realize that's a lot of hate out there in the universe now, but my blog is my pressure valve and then i'll be done with it. it balances out eventually.

didn't know it

on those occasions when, in conversation, some one rhymes, we always say, "you're a poet and didn't know it." but i much prefer the occaions when i'm speaking and something comes out of mouth that is profound. there's something about the dynamic of saying it outloud that often condenses all the thoughts and it clicks, it makes sense.
i'm on an adventure these days.
i'm not going to tell you all the details because they're really not the point right now. someday i may tell you about it, but maybe not (and you'll just have to deal with the lack of info).
anyway, i was talking to someone about a particular harbor in this voyage--an opportunity. i was tell this person about the chain of events that led to this opportunity and i said it. IT.
"i don't what will come of this. i'm not a fatalist that says 'what will be, will be'. but God has brought me to this place. it's so clear to me that He's leading this. even if doesn't happen, i'm going to learn from this. that's very exciting and motivates to go for it."
my revelation was not that God was leading--i'm very aware of that (i couldn't handle this life without Him). my revelation was that regardless of the outcome, i'm learning from it.
in my prior post, i made a point about Romans 8:28 as we see it in the life of moses (i'm mixing testaments, i know). just because we live according to Romans 8:28 doesn't mean that life is always easy, breezy. to quote myself, "like any responsible parent, God does what is best for his children whether or not it brings comfortable scenarios".
it makes sense to me now. whether or not i reach the goal, i am called to reach for the goal. pass or fail aren't the point of it--to quest, to strive, to glorify God along the journey--that's the point of it all.
"now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. for God will bring every deed into judgement, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil." Ecclesiastes 12:13, 14

Romans 8:28 “We know that God works for the good of those that love Him, are called His people and live according to His purpose for them.”
We have to make sure we’re on the same page regarding Romans 8:28 before we get to any ancient history today because we need to look beyond the story to the condition of the heart in these ancient lives.
People are notorious for placing periods in the wrong place of a sentence.
• “We know that God works for the good.” Just watch the evening news and you’ll see that this is just plain bad theology. Not all things are good.
• “We know that God works for the good of those that love Him.” This gives us a slightly more accurate picture, but it is, at best, incomplete.
• God works for the good of people that meet all three criteria:
o They love Him.
o They are called (identified or labeled) His people
o They live according to His purpose for them.—this is the one that disqualifies too many. We love the Lord and we are labeled as His people, but we are not living according to His purposes for us.
Every person we’ve studied so far was recorded in Genesis. Today we begin in Exodus with Moses. Actually, we’re going to cover all of Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy—those books are entirely about Moses. That certainly will make it difficult to fit the entire life into one story. I mean it took Charlton Heston 3 hours and 45 minutes and he didn’t even cover everything!
Well, here it goes…
and we should qualify that The Ten Commandments is much loved, but not completely accurate according to scripture. Just keep in mind that the images you recall of Charlton Heston & Yul Brenner (with that funky ponytail) are not necessarily scriptural.
As the Israelite in Egypt population grew, Pharaoh (which is a title, not a proper name) begins to take steps toward limiting their presence in Egypt. He is afraid the Habiru will join forces with the enemies of Egypt.
So first, Pharaoh places supervisors over all the Israelite workers. The Israelites as “slaves” is more comparable to the idea of a mortgage or loan. In, basically, a cash-less society, labor was a way to repay debt. “I’ll gladly work for you on Tuesday for a hamburger today.”
It wasn’t that the Israelites were unwelcomed in Egypt, but they spoke a different language and had different customs. They were good workers, but you wouldn’t want you daughter to date one.
Hence, the supervision. Pharaoh had people that were his eyes and ears among the Israelites. Watching and listening to find out if there was any indication that they would revolt.
But, the harder Pharaoh pushed them, the more blessed they were. For even in slavery, God was working good for those that loved Him, that bore His name and lived according to His purpose for them. The bounty of the Israelites just proves the old saying, “the rich get richer and the poor get children.”
So Pharaoh has to move to more drastic measures of crowd control, and he orders all boy babies born to Israelites are be killed immediately.
However, the Egyptian midwives feared God and they allowed all the children to live. When Pharaoh asked them about this, they answered, “These Hebrew women are just so healthy and sturdy that the babies come out so fast we don’t arrive in time!”
Pharaoh changes his tactics again. He orders all boy babies to be thrown into the Nile River.
Well, along comes one particular baby boy. The baby is recognized to be no ordinary child. The bible says he was “fair in the sight of God”. His mother hid him from the judgment of Pharaoh for 3 months, but eventually she succumbed to the ruling and threw the baby in the Nile River. Well, technically, she placed him in a watertight basket and gently placed him to float along the riverbank in the softness of the plants growing there. And, she sent the baby’s older sister to follow the basket and see what happened.
Both his father and mother are mentioned to be descendants of Levi. It’s important to note that because Levi’s descendants become the line of priests, and the fellow we eventually come to know as this baby’s brother will be the first “official” priest of the Israelites.
So, here’s a relevant truth: no matter your background, the things in your past—the good, the bad or the ugly—God wants to use it for His purposes.
• Who better to help break the chains of addictions than those who have won the battle?
• Who better to help victims of divorce than those He has delivered from it?
• Who better to model the positive effects of sexual purity than those who have lived it?
God did not make you go through it, but He delivered you from it for a purpose.
Here’s some Egyptian irony. The baby’s basket is discovered in the river by none other than Pharaoh’s own daughter. The baby was crying and she starts to feel all motherly toward him even though she recognizes him as a Hebrew baby.
Now, how would she recognize a Hebrew baby? Hmmm… Oh yeah, the covenant of circumcision.
She claims the baby as her own, and sends a nearby slave girl to find a Hebrew woman to nurse the baby. The slave girl was the sister sent to watch the basket case. She retrieves the baby’s own mother to be the nursemaid.
How convenient is that? God is working for the good. The baby is safe from Pharaoh’s ruling because he is presumed to be Egyptian, and Pharaoh’s not going to turn on his own daughter.
The boy is named Moses, which is an Egyptian name bearing similarity to a Hebrew word meaning bring out. Talk about a name representing who you are: It’s both Egyptian and Hebrew and foreshadows his purpose in life.
No place does the Bible identify the moment when Moses was aware of his true heritage. But, Scripture indicates the Moses had to choose his future: Hebrew or Egyptian?
An Egyptian future would certainly have looked appealing—luxuries, power, affluence, cushy-ness.
A Hebrew future would be at best, laborious and uncertain.
We must understand that the things that are “good”, according to God’s presence in our lives, are not necessarily “things” at all. Like any responsible parent, God does what is best for His children whether or not it creates comfortable scenarios. Just because we love Him, bear His name and live according to His purpose doesn’t mean life is always easy breezy.
Which future will you choose? Will you choose instant gratification or the eternal reward?
Moses is walking among the Israelites one night and he sees an Egyptian beating a Hebrew. He looks right; he looks left. Observing no witnesses, he kills the Egyptian for the unfair treatment of another human being. He hides the body in the sand.
The next day, he’s walking around again and this time sees two Hebrews beating each other. “Isn’t there enough hardship without you beating your own people?”
“Um, who died and made you King of Egypt? Are you going to kill me like you killed the Egyptian yesterday?”
Moses is busted and busted on a grand scale because word of this gets to Pharaoh himself who tries to kill Moses. So, he high-tails it out into the desert and sits in a local watering hole in Midian.
Seven sisters come to the watering hole to water their father’s flocks. But there were whippersnappers that teased the girls and drove them away. We begin to see a pattern of Moses as a buttinski, because once again he steps in a matter not of his concern and sends the boys packing. He proceeds to draw water for the girls and the flocks.
The girls run home and tell their dad of the events of the day. Jethro, the girls’ father, must have been Italian for after hearing their story, he says, “Where is he? Did you invite him to eat?”
Moses spends about 40 years with the family, marrying one of the daughters and having two children. Somewhere during that time, the Pharaoh that wanted Moses dead, dies.
The new Pharaoh (presumably Moses’ adoptive brother or at least a cousin) has made the oppression even worse and the Israelites cry out to God. The Bible says that God heard their crying and remembered his covenant with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and is now ready to do something about it.
Here’s a relevant truth: God hears us when we call to Him. There’s a lot of conjecture about how God answers our prayers, but really, that’s not the important part of the equation.
We need to cry out to God. Period.
No, we need to cry out to God—exclamation point! Prayer is a significant part of his purpose for us. If you’re prayer life is lacking, you’ve no reason to expect good things for you are not living according to his purpose.
Moses is tending the flocks of his father-in-law one day, he sees an unusual sight—a bush is in flames, but not being consumed. In my NIV study Bible, the title heading even says “Moses and the burning bush”, but then text says, “Moses saw that the bush was on fire, but it did not burn up.”
Then, on top of this hot mess, there is a voice…“Moses…”
These are the moments in the lives of these characters of which I am most jealous: I want God to talk to me in an audible voice. Well, maybe He is, but I’m not listening very good.
“Take your shoes off Moses, because my presence in this place has made it holy. I’m not just any god or an apparition, but I am the God of your true fathers: Abraham, Isaac & Jacob.”
Moses is overwhelmed and he covered his face because he was afraid to see the face of God.
God goes on to say He has heard the cries of His people in Egypt and is ready to deliver on His promise. “Moses, I created you for a purpose—and that purpose is to be the leader of the Israelites. You are the one designed to lead them out of Egypt to the Promised Land.”
Here’s a relevant truth, though I hope you’ve noticed it already: You were created for a purpose. God has especially crafted you—your personality, your past, your passions, your training and special skills, everything that sums up YOU—crafted for His purpose.
The dialogue between Moses and God continues with Moses making excuses—he doesn’t want to own up to his purpose—and then God shoots down every one.
Moses tries to get out of it and God delivers miracles of confirmation such as turning Moses walking stick into a snake and then back to a stick again and giving Moses a horrific skin disease and then healing it.
Moses says he can’t talk so good and God says, “You won’t have to. For, by the way, you have a brother named Aaron who is on his way to meet you. He’s eloquent and will speak on your behalf.”
So Moses leaves his wife and children with his father-in-law so he can meet his brother for the first time ever. Moses tells Aaron everything God has said, shown and confirmed regarding this whole ordeal. Aaron takes Moses to meet the Israelite leaders in Egypt and they recount the whole thing again. Not just one, but three levels of confirmation.
That’s a relevant truth: God will confirm His purpose for you. Some people have an idea and they run without confirmation. Some people keep hearing the same truths from saints and sinners alike, but hesitate. Confirmation leads to action.
Moses and Aaron go to Pharaoh for what is the first of several visits. “Let my people go!”
Pharaoh asks, “Who is your God that I should listen to him?” Keep in mind that Egyptian beliefs held that Pharaoh was divine—a king and a god. To hear this from Moses and Aaron was to deny Pharaoh as both.
And as a way to flex his powers, Pharaoh orders that the slaves maintain their quota of daily work, but they must also begin to acquire their own supplies for the work. This pill is not easily swallowed by the Israelites, nor by Moses—all of them complain to God.
But God explains to Moses that this whole experience will be a display of the power of God Almighty, a demonstration of how God work good in their lives! And Moses resumes his excuses.
Exodus 7-11 tells about the events that are most spectacular in our human vision. Not since Creation have we seen miracles of this magnitude. And though we’ve seen miracles for other purposes, this is the first time in Scripture that we see God showing off, that is, demonstrating His power.
First, Aaron’s walking stick (an actual dead branch and not the bug) becomes a snake!
Next, the entire Nile River was turned from water to blood. The Scripture indicates that every drop of water drawn from the river was also turned to blood, meaning that water in jars or pools or whatever, also turned to blood.
And just for perspective, the Nile is the longest river in the world. It’s basin covers nearly 10% of the continent of Africa. It flows at a rate of 58,752,000,000 gallons per day. Hoxworth couldn’t handle it.
The next plague on Egypt was frogs. Scripture says that the Nile River (remember its immensity) will “burst at its seams with frogs”. That’s a lot of ribbit!
That is followed by a plague of gnats. Noseeums—those little bugs that you hear and feel, but can’t see and irritate you to the point of insanity. Imagine enough of them to be categorized as a “plague”.
Then comes flies.
Then all of the Egyptian livestock dies—not the Israelite’s livestock, just the Egyptian livestock.
Then there are boils on all the Egyptian men and the remaining animals. Boils, for those who don’t know, are a staph infection that causes a knot to form in the skin. They are very painful, oozing sores, about an inch in size. The Egyptians had them head to toe.
Next is a hailstorm. Many of us have experienced the damage caused by hail. And we need to keep in mind that all of these plagues were nation-wide. The entire nation of Egypt, which was significantly larger than the modern day country of Egypt, was affected by these curses—nearly half a million square miles of curse.
You think Cincinnati Cicadas are bad? Try a plague of Egyptian locust. They came after the hail.
Then darkness came over the land. And this is not just a simple power outage—the sun actually stopped shining, but only in the places where the Egyptians lived. The Israelites in the same area had plenty of sunlight. How is that possible? Oh…it’s a miracle.
Think about Pharaoh’s perspective. If he endures these plagues, he and his entire nation suffer (though the Israelites are conspicuously not being plagued). If he relents, then he loses credibility with his people, for he is supposed to be a king and a deity—an entire government and belief system crumbled. He has no way to win and God has no way to lose.
Through all of these plagues, Pharaoh has been back and forth.
• “Go ahead and leave.”
• “No, I changed my mind.”
• “Take your people and go.”
• “Just kidding, you have to stay.”
But after the final plague when Regis asked if it was his final answer, Pharaoh was sure.
God tells Moses that He is going to kill every first born and it doesn’t matter if it is Egyptian or Israelite—the first child born to any household will die unless they know the secret handshake.
Well, actually the Israelites were to smear lamb’s blood on the frames of their front doors so that while God is out-and-about smiting said first-borns, He’ll leave those houses alone and will pass over them.
This provides a profound confirmation of the truth of Romans 8:28. It’s not enough to love the Lord or have His name on you—you have to live according to His purpose. That means obedience. Even Israelite homes that did not have the blood of the lamb on their doorframes lost their firstborn. It’s not enough to be one of God’s children—we must be obedient children!
I can’t let this point go without at least a brief mention of Passover. For thousands of years, the Jews have celebrated Passover—a time to remember this event: what God did in Egypt, specifically, exemption from death
As Christians, we celebrate weekly our own type of Passover—a remembrance of what Christ did. When the blood of Jesus, the Passover Lamb , is applied to our lives, we are also exempt from death—spiritual death.
Passover is now not just a historical event, it is a way of life that confirms the truth of Romans 8:28.
And of course, God was true to His word—all the first-born died (except those marked by the blood of the lamb). And as you can imagine, this affects Pharaoh in a deeply personal way with the death of his own son, so he sends a message to Moses to take the Israelites and leave.
The Israelites packed and left so quickly that they didn’t have time to put any yeast in their bread.
Yeast-less bread (or unleavened bread) is standard for the observance of Passover. Jesus was observing Passover in the Upper Room with the disciples on the night He was arrested. By extension, we know that He served yeast-less bread on the night He established communion. So that’s what we use most of the time.
It’s not a command for Christians to commune with unleavened bread, but it is supposed to point us back to these events in history—ancient history, relevant truth. Perhaps even today as you take a piece of cracker when the tray is passed to you, you’ll be more aware of this great history—the history of God working His good for those that love Him, bear His name and live according to His purpose for them.
Estimates of the population are about 600,000 men. When you add women and children the estimates jump to as high as 5 million—just picture metropolitan Cincinnati and Suburbs picking up and walking out one day.
Since there were no maps to the Promised Land, God places a pillar of cloud in the sky during the day and a pillar of fire in the sky at night to lead the way.
Once they’re gone, there are some significant gaps in the society and economy of Egypt, so Pharaoh changes his mind again and tries to recall the Israelites to Egypt.
Perhaps you’ve seen a map of the Red Sea, but the top of it forms two fingers. Pharaoh is a sound military leader, he traps the Israelites against the fingers of the Red Sea. He thinks he’s got them between a rock and hard place, or at least a wet place.
But we know that God works His best for those that love Him, that bear His name and are living according to His purpose. God provides a way of escape, even when it looks impossible—that’s a relevant truth. You’ve heard of split-pea soup? Well, here’s the split sea poop: God split the sea in half and the Israelites walked across on dry ground. Pharaoh and his troops tried to follow, but his plans were a wash out.
Now you would think that after witnessing all of these phenomenal, catastrophic and colossal demonstrations of the power of Almighty God that Moses and the Israelites would be changed forever. However, we see in them the same patterns we see in ourselves. Instead of staying on the mountaintops, we wander back to the valleys. Or as the Proverbs and Peter both say, “a dog returns to its vomit.”
The Israelites begin to complain and long for “the good old days of slavery in Egypt”. So, more miracles. God makes a rock leak water. He provides quail for eating. He gives manna. Manna and quail were to be collected every day with just enough for that day (extra to be set aside for the weekly day of rest). If anyone took extra, it was rotten the next day and had to be thrown out. We’re not exactly sure what manna is…but, Jesus himself called it bread, so I’ll call it bread. In fact, Jesus makes a passing reference to manna in the Lord’s prayer: give us this day our…daily bread.
In Numbers chapter 20 we see what happens when you don’t live according to God’s purposes. The Israelites are bemoaning a lack of water, so Moses goes before the Lord on their behalf. God tells him to provide enough water for all the people and livestock—however, God goes on to say that because Moses did not honor God as holy in the sight of the Israelites, he would not enter the Promised Land.
I’ll say it again: we must live according to His purpose for us. We have grace for when we screw up, but there is no grace for those that don’t even try.
You might remember that back before all the hubbub in Egypt, Moses had left his wife and two boys with her father because of the uncertainty of the situation with Pharaoh. Finally, they are reunited along with Moses’ father-in-law, Jethro.
Now, the people had been coming to Moses with their disputes so that he could pass along God’s will to them. But Jethro sees the wear on Moses that this is causing. Jethro gives great advice—“You can’t do it all by yourself. You need help!”
That’s some relevant truth and good advice for us as well.
Jethro advises Moses to set up a judicial system that lets other trusted leaders handle the simpler cases. If they can’t handle the case, only then is it brought to Moses. Does this sound familiar? It’s the model upon which our own American legal system is based. And then to help keep God’s laws straight, Moses climbs Mt. Sinai where God gives His word: the 10 suggestions, the 10 “if you feel like it”s—no, wait, they are in fact commandments. And they are…set in stone. And to make sure you know what they are, let me go through them quickly.
1. There is only one God and He ain’t you.
2. Don’t worship any other thing. When in doubt, refer to commandment #1
3. Don’t say God’s name unless you’re talking to Him.
4. A weekly day of rest is a command, not just a good idea.
5. Honor your father and mother
6. The Word of God says there is a time to kill, but never a time to murder
7. Never have sex with someone besides your spouse
8. If it ain’t yours, don’t take it.
9. don’t be a deceiver, either by lying or implying or omitting or any means…
10. don’t try to keep up with the Joneses.
Once he comes down from the mountain, Moses sets down other laws for the people to live by. There are regulations on building the Tabernacle—a tent that would be the worship place for the Israelites—and rules for building all the things that go in it, like the Ark of the Covenant (you know…that thing that Indiana Jones rescued from the Nazis). There are policies on what the priests should wear. All of these rules, regulations and policies are extremely explicit and detailed. The bulk of Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy are the details of this system—a system we’ve come to know as Mosaic law.
And after all these laws, the Israelites forgot commandment #1—there is only one God. We see that they have collected jewelry and formed it into a statue that looks like yellow veal, a golden calf. Moses freaks out and burns the darn thing. Aaron says to him, “Don’t be angry, you know how prone these people are to evil”. Well, aren’t we all?
Deuteronomy 34 has Moses climbing to the top of Mt. Nebo where to him, God points out all the places that are the promised land of the Israelites. “This is the land I promised to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. But as I said, you will not enter it.”
Moses died on that mountain and God himself buried him. The text specifically says that’s why to this day no one knows where his grave is.
Deuteronomy 34:10-12 “Since then, no prophet has risen in Israel like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face, who did all those miraculous signs and wonders the Lord sent him to do in Egypt—to Pharaoh and to all his officials and to his whole land. For no one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds that Moses did in the sight of all Israel.”
No one, that is, until Jesus.
Romans 8:28 “We know (because we’ve seen it in the life of Moses) that God works for the good of those that love Him, are called His people and live according to His purpose for them.”

of all the things i'd like to be doing today, this isn't it.

our youngest son turned 2 this month. it was a great day of joy and remembrance. we partied and presented and played.
we took him to the local portrait studio to get some shot taken. he did very well and there were some great shots (of course too many--more than we wanted to pay for). it seemed a little strange to me that the photog asked me to step in front of the camera and interact with him--i.e. wrestle, tickle, etc. i didn't mind doing it--i was glad to be in contact with my boy. and it led to one of the shots we purchased. it is his torso and my hands tickling him. he's got a great smile and bright eyes.
and as much as i'm in the background of the shot, there is one thing that strikes me as incredibly cool (aka - humbling, overwhelming, blessed). you can't see my face, but you can see my wedding band.
there is something artistically amazing about photographs of children where a wedding ring is present. of course, you see my point about God's design for family.
i feel compelled to offer a proviso, but i ain't gonna do it.
suffice it to say i know i am blessed. and i know i am blessed because he has honored me because i have honored his perfect plan.

thank You, thank You, thank You. as long as the band stays in place ('til death parts us), let me love my children as You love me. and...keep them coming. i have more love to give.

please show us Your hand. i don't want to run in front of You, but my mind is running a million miles per hour. send me peace and serenity in challenging times; give me patience and more patience.
i don't see how it all can work out, but You are soverign and providential.
grace me up.

not in a great mood today. several contributors, but they're beside the point.
i tried to convince myself that i hold my own destiny: that i can make it a good day. what a crock of crap. bad things happen to good people. good things happen to bad people.
the sun shines and the rain falls on all of us.
sure, i can adjust my attitude, but that doesn't assure a good day.

so, i pray.

Lord, help me honor You in all i do and say today. whatever comes my way, let it be a glorification of you. but, if You could divinely inspire my mood, i wouldn't complain about it. i love You and realize how you have blessed me.

i didn't blog but once last week, the result of a severe case of good old-fashioned influenza.

now that i'm back in the office, i'm so far behind that i doubt i'll blog much this week.

oh well...

i didn't blog but once last week, the result of a severe case of good old-fashioned influenza.
now that i'm back in the office, i'm so far behind that i doubt i'll blog much this week.
oh well...

"don't tell me I'm so different and creative that gravity doesn't apply to me. if i jump from a building, i'll fall and die. if you tell me, though, that the same rules apply to me as to everyone else, i'll build a pair of wings that will fly me around the world. that's creative freedom."
-josh seurkamp, quoted in free book by brian tome

yesterday (not the lennon song)

it happened yesterday.
i made a quick stop into a favorite craft and home decor store.
i turned the aisle and there it was: autumn decorations.
spring has finally sprung, summer is about to arrive...but we already have autumn decorations.
but i kept walking...two more aisles over...i saw it...
christmas ribbon!
yup, 6 months early for the season. if it were any earlier, i'd have thought it was left over from last year.

today is my younger son's birthday. it's not necessarily a milestone in his life--a lot of people turn two years old. but it is a reminder of one of my favorite phrases (and you can quote me on this), "i'm so freakin' blessed!"
it's been an emmazing couple of years.

Abraham

Today we want to pull some relevant truth from the ancient story of Abraham. So, how long ya got? The story of Abraham begins at the end of Genesis 11 and goes all the way through Genesis 25—and that doesn’t account for his mention in the New Testament! That means of the four sermons so far in this series, we have more chapters about Abraham than Adam & Eve, Cain, Abel, Seth, Enoch and Noah combined.
But, through the magic of storytelling, we can fast forward a bit. And the beauty of storytelling, as we read these in the Bible, is that we see what happens when the right choices are made and we see what happens when the bad choices are made. The people in the stories are faced with win/lose scenarios. For from our perspective, knowing that we can learn from their triumphs as well as learn from their tragedies, it is win/win. I like win/win situations. In fact, the only way to lose is to hear the Word of God and disregard it.
Before we begin the story, you need to know that Abram and Abraham is the same guy. We’ll talk about why the names are different, but you need to remember it’s the same guy.
Let’s take a moment and introduce the main players in our little drama.
• First, we have Abram, later called Abraham. He is from the lineage of Shem, a son of Noah.
• Sarai is Abram’s wife. She’ll get a new name later on, too.
• Hagar is an Egyptian woman that will come into the story later
• Ishmael & Isaac are really important people, too. You’ll be introduced to them at the appropriate time.
And as all good stories do, this one begins with God speaking.
“Ok, Abram. You got to go. You got to leave the place you live; you’ve got to leave those you live with. Where are you going? Well, I’ll show you when the time is right. I just want you to be a typical guy and wonder about for a bit. Because I said, that’s why.”
And God begins to promise Abram many things.
• A great nation will come from his lineage
• His name will be of renown
• He will be blessed
• He will be a blessing
And there is one last little promise that…well…requires a quick review. Adam and Eve introduced sin to the world. And ever since then, people have needed some way or someone to save them from themselves, save them from their sin. A Savior, as in “save your sorry, sinful can from hell”.
In the original curse, God said that the serpent would be crushed under the heel of the offspring of man. Ever since that time, we’ve been waiting for the one that would be the crusher of the serpent. God promised Abram “all people on earth will be blessed through you”, through his lineage.
This promise is bigger than an idea like we Americans are blessed through George Washington. This is a prophetic promise implying that the serpent crusher, The Savior, would come from the lineage of Abram. Yeah, that’s sort of a big deal.
So Abram did as the Lord commanded him and when he was 75 years old, he took his wife, rented a u-haul and headed out on the highway. He didn’t know where he was going and he didn’t know when he’d get there—but Abram did as the Lord commanded.
Relevant Truth #1: Obedience is important. Do the right thing.
• Don’t do “the thing that feels right”.
• Don’t do “the thing that you prefer”.
• Do the God thing.
And frankly, I’m tired of hearing that people don’t know what God is telling them to do. God’s Word is very clear—as clear as He spoke audibly to Abram. I feel your pain that God’s voice sounds muffled under the noise of the world, but when we spend time in conversation with God—we speak to Him, we read His words—the “right thing” is very clear.
It probably would have appeared to us, if we’d seen this motley crew that they were wandering aimlessly. But, God was leading them. God did his part; Abram did his part—an elegant balance of power. Sometimes, that’s how it is in our lives—people don’t “get” what we’re doing, but God is leading us.
In the end of Genesis 12, there’s an interesting little story in the life of Abram. It appears that there was a drought and subsequent famine, so Abram and company went down to Egypt—if you think back to last week, you’ll see that’s not so weird, since the Egyptians are fairly distant cousins of Abram, the descendants of another of Noah’s sons. This was not a short journey when you consider they most likely walked or rode pack animals, but really it wasn’t a long journey. And Egypt’s food supply was secure because the water supply of the Nile River was very reliable.
When they get there, Abram tells his wife, Sarai, to claim that she is his sister instead of his wife so that if she is desirable to any other man, they won’t kill Abram in order to have her. You could call this a lie and Abram a liar, but we prefer to call it a half-truth. In that Abram and Sarai were from the same lineage, the concept of “sister” is accurate to some degree (several chapters later, Abram clarifies that they have the same father, but different mothers). So, it wasn’t that they were lying…they were just withholding parts of the truth. (Ahem), yeah, in God’s eyes as well as the American judicial system, we want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Anything more or less than the truth is deceptive.
In the end, Abram’s time in Egypt was beneficial as he became very wealthy, but ultimately he was kicked out of the country because of his fraud. Abram could have stayed and accumulated more wealth if he would just have been completely honest. Here’s a relevant truth: often times our blessings are discontinued by God because of our dishonesties.
And it’s so easy to do. We “omit” some of the details in our stories. We use “reverse-psychology” to get our kids to comply. We tell people that we’ll pray for them, but then “forget”. We don’t want to hurt feelings. “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all” isn’t as honest as we’d like to think it is. Truth isn’t always nice, but it’s still the truth. Speak the truth with Love was Jesus’ way to do it.
Here’s where the story gets a little “Twilight Zone”. After Abram left Egypt, he’s involved with some minor warfare. But after that, he meets this guy named Melchizedek, king of Salem.
• Melchizedek means “king of righteousness” a name later applied to Jesus.
• Salem or Shalom means “peace” and is a city later renamed as Jeru-salem, “the center of peace”. We know Jerusalem as the absolute center of Judaism—the home of the temple where Jesus himself worshipped. To a large extent, Jerusalem is the birthplace of Christianity.
• Melchizedek is mentioned to be a king and a priest—a dual title also held by Jesus, and oh the time we could spend on the implications of Jesus as a king AND priest.
• Abram gives to Melchizedek 10%, a tithe, of the booty he had taken from the minor warfare.
• Melchizedek serves supper to Abram, specifically mentioned as bread and wine. This is a typical meal for this period, and in this context, it is not to be associated with communion. But, when you put all these pieces together, your mind can’t help but see the parallels.
• And to add fuel to our fire, in the New Testament, in Hebrews it points out that Jesus is a priest in the order of Melchizedek. This is important to note because the Jews eventually thought that all priests had to come from the line of Levi (someone we haven’t met yet)—which Jesus did not. Some discounted Jesus’ claim to be Messiah because he wasn’t from the line of Levi. But, his reference to the order of Melchizedek validates Jesus as priest and king.
• Yeah, that’s sort of a big deal.
Well, back to our hero, Abram.
One of the promises God made to Abram is that he will have many descendants (and one of them will be the Savior). But Sarai, his wife is way past childbearing years and still childless. So, Sarai decides what needs to happen is that her maidservant, Hagar the Egyptian, could be the surrogate. However, since this is before in-vitro, Sarai tells Abram to do it “the old-fashioned way”. Abram thinks he has the best wife ever, and does not disagree with her.
Hagar, the handmaiden is now preggers.
And that creates problems between her and Sarai—can anyone say “duh”? So, of course, Sarai blames Abram—double duh! Abram plays dumb—triple duh! Sarai begins to abuse Hagar, and so the surrogate skedaddles.
Fortunately, an angel comes to Hagar and instructs her on proper protocol—she is to go back and acquiesce to Sarai. But, Hagar is promised that her descendants will also be too numerous to count—this is the only time this type of promise is ever given to a woman. Her son is to be named Ishmael, which means, “God hears”, but he will be “a wild ass of a man” and he will live in hostility towards his brothers.
We need to point out that what Abram did with Hagar was culturally acceptable. Because large families were necessary for survival, it was commonplace for men to produce offspring with their wife, or wives, or handmaidens, or all of the above. These children were legitimized by their paternal heritage.
So, why is this such a big deal since Abram didn’t do anything wrong? I mean, all his friends were jumping off a cliff. Why couldn’t he?
Well, what Abram did was wrong. It wasn’t God’s plan. Because of it, Abram’s integrity is damaged. Just because society says it’s OK, doesn’t make it OK. We need to live up to God’s standard, not our culture’s standard. Too often, we are a church that adapts to our culture instead of our culture adapting to God’s church in this place. We have the power of God on our side! Let’s speak up and use for heaven’s sake.
All throughout the story, God reiterates His promised covenant to Abram. These promises never changed, but as we go along, more details, more specifics are given on how the promises will be delivered. So, in Genesis 17 we read that:
• God promises Abram specific locations and acreage that will belong to his lineage eventually. To this, Abram doesn’t say much.
• As an outward sign of the promise, God changes Abram and Sarai’s names. From now on, they will be known as Abraham and Sarah. To this, Abraham doesn’t say much.
• As another visible sign of the promise, God commands Abraham to…shall we say…nip it in the bud? To circumcise himself, his son Ishmael, every man in his family, every man that will ever be born to his family and every male employee whether they are brought in to work for the family or are born to the workers. To this, Abraham complies, but doesn’t say much.
• God reminds Abraham that his descendants will be many, but this time specifically confirms that this line, the covenant, will come through his wife Sarah. To this, Abraham laughed his butt off. He laughed so hard that scripture says he fell down—we’re talking knee-slappin’ hi-larity!
For you see, at this point, Abraham was 100 years old! His wife, Sarah, was 90 years old. It would take a miracle for them to have children. Fortunately, our God is in the miracle business. And a relevant truth is that we still see miracles today!
Once he finishes laughing, Abraham pleads for God to establish His covenant through Ishmael. But, God substantiates that Sarah will have a son and he will be named Isaac. God acknowledges Abraham’s love for his son, Ishmael and promises that Ishmael will be blessed. Both boys will bear a blessing, but Isaac alone will carry the covenant.
To point out that there is such a significant difference between bearing a blessing and carrying the covenant is important. Not just everyone gets a covenant with God. When God gives one, it’s to be taken seriously. This truth is still relevant today, for people living under the holy covenant of marriage. Marriage should be treated with the significance of God’s promise to Abraham regarding his son, Isaac. Yeah, that’s sort of a big deal.
Have you ever tried to bargain with God? God tells you what to do or what He’ll do, but you try get Him to change His mind or something with vague promises or bargaining. Well, you’re in good company—Abraham did the same thing.
Abraham doesn’t want God to destroy the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah because that’s where his nephew lives. But, these cities are so evil that God has already made up His mind. Of course, because of the promise to Noah, we know that the destruction will be limited, not worldwide. And, we know that it won’t be another flood. But Abe has an idea that if he can find 50 righteous people in the city, God shouldn’t destroy—but he can’t find that many. 40? 30? 20? 10? I imagine that God is grinning at Abraham through this process, but decidedly God wins this debate and Abraham goes home. The nephew is rescued, but the cities are annihilated.
Keep in mind that throughout the story, Abraham is moving around a lot. During one of these moves, we meet a guy named Abimelech. Once again, Abraham does the “half-truth” thing and claims Sarah is his sister. Since Abimelech is a powerful king, he calls for Sarah to be his own. Sarah must have been some sort of looker, for at this point she is over 90 years old, but still considered to be desirable.
But in a dream, God warns Abimelech not to take Sarah as his own for she is already married. God also tell Bimmy that he’s going to die because of near Sarah-tasprophe. Bimmy thinks this is unfair because he didn’t do anything wrong. He was planning to take Sarah, but only because Abraham and Sarah lied. His integrity would have prevented this if he had only known the whole truth. God agrees and un-curses Abimelech’s household.
But, Bimmy goes off on The ‘Ham! “Why did you do this? Why? Why? Why? What did I ever do to you to deserve treatment like this?”
Abraham can only muster enough to say one word: fear. He’s scared of Abimelech’s godlessness. He’s afraid of the way that Abimelech will respond to him. He’s in a panic that God still hasn’t brought about the promised lineage. Fear is a great motivator to sin.
When we went through our recent series “beyond prison bars”, we were able to write down our fears, the imposed prison bars that are preventing us from accomplishing the mission of God. And I confess, we, as a congregation, sounded a lot like Abraham. We are scared of people’s godlessness. We’re afraid of how people will respond to us if we are the people God wants us to be. We’re in a panic because we can’t see past our own nose to know that God is there still leading us. We cannot allow fear to continue motivating us to sin.
Genesis 21:1-5 “Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as He had said, and the Lord did for Sarah exactly what He had promised. Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham, despite their old age—at the very time God had promised him. Abraham gave the name Isaac to the son Sarah bore him. When Isaac was 8 days old, Abraham circumcised him (in accordance with the covenant between himself and God). Abraham was 100 years old when his son was born.”
Amidst all this joy of miraculous new birth and promises fulfilled, you can still hear heartache. The birth of the promised child had to be a terrible burden for Hagar and Ishmael—their long-held hope to be the covenant carrier forever shattered. To them, the infant was but a painful reminder that they would not share the covenant. This stinks, because Hagar was only ever obedient to Abraham and Sarah; only ever obedient to God. Yet, she is the victim. Her son, her blessing, her future, though receiving promises and blessings of his own, will never bear any legitimacy nor heritage from Abraham.
And, I’m sure it was an agonizing time for Sarah to see a 14-year old Ishmael, the product of her poor choice to send Abraham to Hagar. As you can imagine, things come to a head and Hagar and Ishmael are abandoned to their own devices.
For a second time, Hagar left Abraham for the desert. She and her son wander in the desert, now ready to die from dehydration. But for a second time, God heard the cries and came to the rescue. He reminds them of the promised blessings on Ishmael, that he would father a great nation. But if you remember, part of that promise was that Ishmael would forever live in hostility towards his brothers.
Historically, we note that Ishmael’s lineage is Arabic and the subsequent faith of Islam. We know that Judaism comes from the promised lineage through Isaac. Still to this day, the Jews and the Muslims live in hostility. Their ideologies are absolutely incompatible. Just watch the evening news any given night and you’ll hear about the on-going conflicts in the Middle East—our very own US military are involved in this conflict. And all this is only because Abraham wouldn’t wait for God to deliver His own promise.
Please tell me you see the relevant truth in that. Obedience, integrity and now patience are the virtues, the qualities, the merits, the character traits we need to learn from Abraham. We need to learn them—those that don’t learn from history are destined to repeat it. The only way to lose is to hear the Word of God and disregard it.
Genesis 23 sees the death of Sarah at 137 years old. In Genesis 25 Abraham has remarried and had more children. But we note that they are the same lineage as Isaac. Therefore they are blessed, but not under the covenant. Before his death, Abraham gives gifts to all his children, but leaves his entire inheritance to Isaac. Another relevant truth: invest in the plans of God. They will always succeed despite our human involvement.
Altogether, Abraham lived 175 years. Then, he breathed his last and died. He was gathered to his people buried next to his wife Sarah. Specifically mentioned that Ishmael and Isaac came together to bury their father.
The relevant truth for us is that when we have common ground in our father, our Heavenly Father, we can live in harmony with anyone—even with a “wild ass of a man” like Ishmael. So today, don’t pray for an end to the war; don’t pray for an end to the conflict—pray for the presence of God to manifest around the world! When the church owns up to it’s mission to win, build and send servants for Jesus Christ only then will we have peace in our world.

how do you get a 3 year old to pronouce mid-word "L"?
he can start words with L; he can end words with L.
but, when you put it in the middle, they become W.
last night was equal parts funny and frustrating trying to:
1-explain the difference between a mower and a tiller (for the sound the same, they must be the same).
2-explain how to place your tongue at the back of your top teeth to pronouce L so that "tiller" isn't "tiw-wer".
deep sigh.

i'm no expert, but i know what i know from my own experiences.
and yet, when i confirm it in my life, i'm always surprized.
our family has been in a funk lately. not depression, but definately qualifying for the blues. we've had some additional stressors present. we've not been eating well. we've not been exercising regularly.
of course, those things are "sick-lical". we have no energy because we're not sleeping well because we've got the blues...and on and on and on...
but, yesterday i forced myself to work in the garden (which is theraputic as well as beneficial). i was sweating like, as a friend once said, a whore in church. and just when i thought i was done, i pushed myself for 15 minutes more.
that led to another branch of the project that i wanted to finish before i stopped. all in all, i spent about 75 minutes of (what felt like) hard labor.
my hands hurt and could hardly hold the bar of soap to wash myself.
but this morning, i woke up before the alarm (which is annoying), but felt so refreshed that i got up and hour early. that gave me time to start my day appropriately. i drank coffee, but wasn't reliant on it. this was a good, healthy feeling.
my hands no longer ache, but they feel strengthened--which will be extrememly helpful as i take on a 13-minutes liszt piece.

my bottom line is this: make healthy choice. as much as things can snowball out of control, they can likewise spiral into natural, God-infused and inspired euphoria. you don't need a drug to feel like this.

Lord, keep me making good choices for Your sake, not mine. if it were up to me, life would be worthless. but You give value and meaning and purpose. help me not disappoint You.

• Adam lived 130 years and then had a son named Seth. 800 years later, when Adam was 930 years old, he died.
• Seth lived 105 years and then had a son named Enosh (ee-nosh).
• Enosh lived 90 years and then had a son named Kenan (key¬-nan).
• Kenan lived 70 years and then had a son named Mahalalel (mah-hah¬-lah-lel).
• Mahalalel lived 65 years and then had a son named Jared.
• Jared lived 162 years and then had a son named Enoch (ee-noch).
• Enoch lived 65 years and then had a son named Methuselah (meh-thoo-sah-lah).
• Methuselah lived 187 years and then had a son named Lamech (lay-mek). This is not the same Lamech as mentioned last week.
• Lamech lived 182 years and then had a son named Noah, the man we’ll study today.
All of these years are mentioned because a very interesting point needs to be made. Keep in mind that Adam was 930 when he died. When you add up all the years given in Genesis for the lineage between Adam and Noah, we see that Adam died 126 years before Noah was born. I realize that seems like a lot of years when compared to our lifespan. But, when we consider that these men were around 100 years old before they begat their first son, we see that Noah just barely missed knowing his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather Adam.
It’s important to note this time frame because the flood comes just after Adam’s death. Within the lifetime of one sinner, things had gotten this bad. Things were SO bad that Genesis 6:5 & 6 say, “The Lord saw how great man’s wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. The Lord was sad that he had even formed man on the earth, and it made his heart hurt.”
You know things are bad when such a generalization is drawn. But, I think it speaks even more into the horror of the condition of man to say that God was filled with regret. Parents, at what point is your kids’ behavior so bad that regret having them? That’s saying a LOT about the evil in the world.
In all this darkness though, there is a bright spot. Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord because, like his great-grandfather, Enoch, Noah walked with God. And during one of this walks, God confessed to Noah that He intended to destroy the earth. We don’t have a record of Noah’s response when God let that one fly—I imagine it is because he was speechless.
“Noah, build an ark. Make it this big. Use these materials. Put a door here and a window there.”
Noah is speechless, presumably because “ark” means “floating coffin”. Doesn’t sound like a vehicle for a joyride.
“I gonna make it rain…a lot. It’s gonna rain so much that the entire earth and every living thing will no longer be a living thing…except for you and your family and the animals I want you to bring. That’s why you need a big boat.”
Noah is still speechless.
“I like you Noah, so I’ll establish my covenant with you. You and your sons and your wife and your sons’ wives, 8 of you in all—8 is enough—will all go into the boat with two of every kind of bird and every kind of animal—because it takes two to tango. And, of course, you’ll need enough food for all of you and those animals. Make sure you have enough food.”
Noah is still speechless. But, Noah did everything just as God commanded him. And that’s especially significant when you realize that he was 600 years old before the flood came. I’m pretty sure that this guy ate his Wheaties!
In Genesis, there are three full chapters in the account of the flood. And I know all of it was included for a reason, but in a literary sense, not all the details move the plot along. Since I am just a storyteller, let me Reader’s Digest condense it for you.
• Noah built the boat according to the specs given him by God. It’s significant to note that twice in the story Noah is called “righteous”. But four times, it says that Noah did “just as God commanded”. Obedience is really important if you’re gonna keep things afloat.
• Noah and his wife, Joan of Ark, along with their 3 sons and their wives all went into the boat and brought a male and female of every kind of animal, so they could propagate the planet after the flood. But some animals, they actually brought 7, instead of just 2, so they’d have fresh food.
• God shut them in the ark 7 days before the flood came.
• And then the water came. And not just rain fell from the sky, but the springs of the deep opened up also—it was water from above and water from below at the same time. That’s why throughout the story of Noah, it refers to floodwaters, not just rain. Essentially, all of the water in existence came to the surface of the planet, whether it fell down or rose up. This continued for 40 days and 40 nights.
• And everything that wasn’t in the boat, died. Every person, every animal, every bird—dead.
The text gives some actual dates, but they are given in the Jewish calendar. So with a little research on the internet, you can see how those dates line up with our current calendar.
• Genesis 7:11 says the floods came on May 1, give or take a few days.
• It rained for 40 days and nights—and you thought a 3-hour tour was long. That takes us to about June 9.
• It took 150 days for the waters to recede—5 months. That takes us to about October 5. That’s the day that the boat stopped floating and rested on land—but, we eventually hear that they landed on a mountain, so you can imagine that there was still a lot more water to recede.
• After another 40 days, about November 14, Noah released a raven from the ark. It makes sense that a bird’s eye view would see the condition of things. He also released a dove. But the reports were still soggy.
• A week after that, November 21, he sent out the dove again. This time the report was good; the dove returned with a leaf—meaning that the water had receded enough that plants were sprouting again.
• A week after that, November 28, he sent the dove a third time. This time the dove did not return—meaning it had found things suitable to resume normal life.
• Genesis 8:13 says that on March 14, give or take a few days, Noah could see dry ground.
• The verse after that says that on May 15, give or take a few days, the water was completely gone. The flood was over.
• Noah, Joan, and their boys and wives lived on the ark for more than a year!
Then God said to Noah, “Come out of the ark, you and Joan and the boys and their wives. Bring the animals out too, because they need to get busy repopulating the planet.” So Noah did that, but then he built an altar to the Lord and sacrificed some of the animals. God smelled this offering and was set at ease to say that He would never again would he curse the ground because of man—no matter how bad things ever got. And, He would never again destroy the earth with a flood.
You remember how God gave Adam two to-do’s and one to-don’t? That’s the same number God gave Noah and his family. First, he told them to “increase in number on the earth”—have many babies! Secondly, just as He told Adam, God told Noah that he had to take care of the planet. But, this time he stipulates that every person will be held accountable for his or her own life—the way they live within their purpose or not. The to-don’t is also similar to Adam’s. This time, to-don’t eat meat from animals that are still alive.
And as a reminder of these two to-do’s, the to-don’t and God’s promise to never destroy the earth again with a flood, God placed a rainbow in the sky. And for most people, that’s where the story ends.
But, there’s one more little bit of the Noah story. Years after the flood, Noah had planted a vineyard. From the bounty of that vineyard, he made some wine. From that wine, he got drunk and fell asleep without his clothes.
His middle son, Ham (an ironic name for someone not permitted to eat pork products), told his brothers but did nothing else. The brothers Shem and Japheth (jay-feth), not wanting their father to be disgraced, went in to cover him up—specifically noted that they walked in backwards so they wouldn’t see their father in such a condition.
This part of Noah’s life was included in the bible because a curse is involved. Of course, Noah does not curse the boys that covered him. But, neither does he curse the son that did nothing—Noah’s curse comes down on the son of the son that did nothing: Canaan (kay-nen).
English translations are literarily accurate, but somewhat misleading here. The text says Noah cursed his youngest son, but then a couple of verses later, he blesses Japheth (the actual youngest of Noah’s My Three Sons). The phrase “youngest son” actually implies “grandson”, “the one younger than my youngest son”. Presumably, this curse is because Canaan did something naughty to his naked grandpa that is not recorded in scripture.
Now, just as a preview for next week’s story, we want to peek at Genesis 10. This is called the Table of Nations and traces the lineages of Noah’s three sons.
First listed is Japheth. I’m not going to try and pronounce these names because they really aren’t important to the point being made. But, historically, based on these names, we see that the descendents of Japheth settled in the areas between the Aegean and Mediterranean Seas. This is the people-group we come to know, historically, as Ancient Greece.
Second listed is the Hamites—the descendents of Ham. Again, these names aren’t important to our story, but through historical and biblical research, we see that this clan settled on the southern shores of the Mediterranean Sea, particularly around a certain river, the Nile River. The Hamites are better known to us as the people of Ancient Egypt. Keep in mind that this is the group that Noah cursed because of Canaan’s dirty deed (whatever it was).
Finally, are the sons of Shem. Even though his name is spelled s-H-e-m, the descendents of Shem are called Semites. Ever heard of them? Adolf Hitler was very well known for his anti-Semitic views. It is from the line of Shem that we’ll arrive at next week’s hero, Abraham. This is the line that history will eventually come to know as the Jews. King David can be traced in the line of Shem. Jesus can be traced in the line of Shem.
Yeah, that’s kind of a big deal.

the only weird thing is that it wasn't weird.
yesterday provided an opportunity to reconnect with our of our birthfamilies. of course, we've continued to communicate via email and pictures, but it's really special to get together.
i can't really describe it all.
we had fun because we did fun things with fun people and it wasn't awkward to talk about our connection.
we ate cookies because everyone loves a good toll house and it wasn't uncomfortable to be open with each other.
we talked a lot because conversation and communication are what's missing in most relationships and it wasn't uneasy to speak from the heart.
we are so blessed and realize that not everyone is able or willing to have a birthfamily relationship. but, this young woman and her family gave us an incredible gift. and, when i consider the story of abraham placing isaac on the altar, her face is the first thing that comes to mind. she loved my son so much that she made a choice to give him life and a better life. i feel selfishness in myself when i see her for i'm not sure i could give him up for God nor any person. that's a profound love! and that's the selfless, Jesus-kind-of-love we all need--to love so deeply that no pain of separation can match it.

precious Jesus, thank You for all my blessings.

things ain't what they could be

things ain't what they should be

but, praise God, things ain't what they used to be

things ain't what they could be
things ain't what they should be
but, praise God, things ain't what they used to be

it's so nice to have the family all together again. and healthy.

enoch

Genesis 5:

• God created man and woman in His own image, with His own hands and blessed them. When Adam had lived 130 years, he had a son named Seth (the one that came after Cain & Abel). After Seth was born, Adam lived 800 years more (that means he lived a total of 930 years!) and had other sons and daughters. Then he died.
• When Seth was a mere 105 years old, he because a father to Enosh. He lived 807 years more after that, having other sons and daughters—that means he was only 912. Then he died.
• Enosh was a youngin’ when he had his first son, Kenan. He was only 90 when his son was born. And after Kenan was born, Enosh lived 815 years more and had other sons and daughters. Total: 905 years. Then he died.
• Talk about children having children, Kenan was only 70 when he sired an offspring: Mahalalel. But in the great tradition of Old Testament people, Kenan had other sons and daughters. He was 910 and then he died.
• Mahalalel retired just in time to become a father at age 65. His firstborn was Jared; his other sons and daughters are not named. He managed to live 895 years. Then he died.
• Jared had his head on straight and didn’t become a father until he was 162 years old. His oldest son was named Enoch. After Enoch was born, Jared lived 800 years longer…having other sons and daughters…for a total of 962 years. (He is the second oldest man recorded in the Bible.) Then he died.

“When Enoch lived 65 years, he became the Father of Methuselah. And after he became the Father of Methuselah, Enoch walked with God and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Enoch lived 365 years. (here’s the important part) Enoch walked with God. Then he was no more—because God took him away.”
Enoch didn’t die.
Perhaps you could make a claim that “he was no more” is a polite phrase like the one you would use with your children when the goldfish died. But when we compare it to the others’ stories, we see they were specifically mentioned as dying. That ought to be obvious, since they aren’t still here. That detail is included in each story because Enoch’s story uses the exact same sentence structure as all the prior accounts. But the change in the wording reflects the fact that he did NOT die, because he walked with God.
Now, let’s back up just a little bit to the end of Genesis chapter 4. We are given a brief lineage from Cain—the Marked One that killed his brother. Pay careful attention because some of the people share common names, but are very different characters.

• Cain had a son named Enoch (not the same one as we’re talking about today).
• That Enoch had a son named Irad.
• He had a son named Mehujael.
• His son was named Methuselah.
• His son was named Lamech.

Basically, if we looked at a flowchart of the lines from Adam, we see that our hero Enoch and Lamech are 5th cousins--one from Cain and the other from Seth. I know that’s really distant, so maybe it’d be better to think of them this way: Enoch and Lamech are the 7th generation from Adam. Why is that important to know?
It is important because of the contrast in lives and attitudes of these two fellows. Enoch is recorded for history as the man that walked with God and did not die. Lamech is recorded for history as a violent murderer. He was arrogant and thought he could redeem his family through his own achievements. Lamech would have made a good American, thinking that hard work will take care of everything. He didn’t think he needed a Savior.
And so, as the old saying goes, “He who dies with the most toys still dies”. The hardest worker, the most successful, the best looking, the teacher’s pet and all the others, if they do not walk with God, will still die. But, he who walks with God does not die.

Enoch is a great inspiration to us all--we can walk with God and be blessed because of it.

cain & abel

Two brothers, both alike in dignity,in fair Eden, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.

Genesis, chapter 4, records the events in the lives of Cain & Abel. These fellers were brothers. It is unclear from the text if they were twins or not, but that’s an irrelevant detail. Cain is the older of the two and his name means “spear”. Abel is the younger but not the youngest brother—a common misconception that we’ll talk about in a moment. His name means “temporary”. I point out the meaning of their names, because they present foreshadowing of things to come.
For a moment, let’s think back to last week’s story of Adam & Eve. God gave Adam two to-do’s. He was to name the animals and tend the garden. You might calls these two things “the family business.” And so, as we see in Scripture, Cain and Abel each took one of those to-dos as their own.
Cain focused on the to-do of tending the garden. He worked the land and produced vegetables; he took up the family business as a farmer. Cain was the first recorded horticulturalist. Abel, on the other hand, focused on the to-do of naming the animals. He worked with livestock and provided meat; he took up the family business as a rancher. Abel was the first recorded stockbreeder.
Before we get to the point in the story that most of you are already familiar with, I want to point out a couple of things that we don’t see in the text. First, we have nothing in the text that indicates that God showed any partiality to one or the other brother based on their chosen career. Farming and ranching are both noble professions because they are a part of the original two to-dos.
Secondly, we need to point out that we have no indication that these brothers, both alike in dignity, had any enmity between them. So, we can assume there to be brotherly loving and not brotherly loathing or else there would be indication, foreshadowing, of the event to come. The farmer and the cowman can be friends.
Cain and Abel both knew that God was providing the bounty of their labors, the recompense of their work, the paycheck. And only 4 chapters into the book, we see people giving from their income to God—an offering. Both brothers brought an offering to God. And while both brothers were doing the same action, they were not approaching it the same way. And we learn that the action of the hands reveals the character of the heart.
Cain, the farmer, offered his vegetables to God. “This tomato is pretty good. I guess this carrot isn’t too bad. Yeah, I think we’ll be passing along all the Brussels sprouts. Rutabagas? Whatever. OK, God, here you go!” Cain’s actions revealed that his heart he viewed himself on the same level as God—if it’s good enough for Cain, it’s good enough God.
But Abel, the rancher, had real meat in his offering. Abel brought the best of the best, the finest of his flocks. It would certainly have benefitted his livestock portfolio to keep the best and reinvest. If you remember 4th grade science class, you’ll know the concepts of the Punnett squares and breeding for improved stock. But Abel chose to sacrifice the best that God had given, and then gave it back to God. His actions revealed that his heart knew it was more important to give to God than to save for yourself.
Which weighs more, a pound of gold or a pound of feathers? Well, they both weigh a pound, but the pound of gold is more valuable because it’s better stuff. I don’t suppose there was a significant difference in the quantity or volume of the brothers’ offerings, but Abel’s offering was more valuable because it was better stuff. Grade A, prime meats—the choicest cuts. God smiled on Abel’s prime rib, but frowned upon Cain’s salad surplus, his leftovers.
Here’s something to note. God frowned upon Cain’s less-than-the-best offering, but He did not punish Cain. Cain’s leftovers did not please God, but neither did they anger God. But we see the actions of his hands revealing the character of his heart, and Cain is angry and scowling. I imagine we’d see him and accuse him of pouting. Maybe he’s grumbling, complaining under his breath. There is jealousy toward his brother and resentment toward his God.
So God asks him, “Why are you angry? Why are you scowling? Don’t you know that it doesn’t take much to please me? All I want is your best. And, if you can’t see that, then I’m afraid that sin is blocking your view of Me. Just do the next right thing and you’ll see that sin has no place in you.”
But, the actions of the hands reveal the character of the heart. Cain invites his brother to go hang out for a while and while they are out, Cain kills his brother. Presumably, he stabs his brother because Cain’s name means “spear”. Abel is lying dead in a pool of his own blood, his life but a temporary existence, as his name would imply.
“Um, Cain, this is God speaking. Where is your brother?” “I dunno. I gotta take care of these turnips; must I take care of him, too?”
Then, there is what you might call a deafening silence. There is a hush that hurts your ears. And from above the noiselessness, God cries out in anguish, “What have you done? Listen! The blood of your brother cries out from the ground. I curse you! The very ground that drank your brother’s blood will no longer yield his vegetation to you. You will forever be discontented and restless.”
And it was more than Cain could bear. Cain feared for his very life—isn’t that ironic for a murderer?
But God reserves vengeance and justice for Himself. And so, He marked Cain so that all people would recognize him and not kill him, for that was God’s appointment to keep.
We don’t know what this mark looked like. We know that man looks at the outward appearance, so the mark had to be cosmetic in some way.
• Some conjecture that this is origin of the black skin tone, though this is easily discounted by the accounts of Noah and the flood.
• Some fantasize that the mark of Cain is his thirst for blood and his fanged teeth—he became a vampire. To this, I say two words, “oh, brother.”
• Some wonder if the mark was a good old-fashioned 666 on his forehead. Eh…
The truth is that we don’t know what the mark looked like nor does it even matter. A bigger problem is an attitude towards offerings that is marked like Cain’s.
For never was a story of offerings more plain than this of Able and his brother Cain
Oops, I almost forgot. At the beginning, I mentioned that Abel was the younger, but not youngest brother. At the very end of Genesis chapter 4, we see that Adam and Eve had another son and name him Seth—a name indicating that he was a “replacement” for Abel.
And, the last sentence of the chapter is the most important of all. “At that time men began to call upon the name of the Lord.”

the old testament has always been, in my mind, a collection of stories. sure, there are prophets and poets, but mostly it's about stories. i always thought it would be easy to retell the stories because you could leave out a lot of the details--the repetition, the genealogies, the unpronounceable names and places.
but, with this exercise in telling the stories without reading the stories, my eyes are opened to new revelations and appreciation for all of this.
maybe in the coming weeks, i'll blog about all the stuff i've learned. i'm ashamed to admit that i had a college level class in this and i barely remember any of it (sorry dyke, you can list me among your failures even though i passed).
still, i encourage you to study (that's more than just reading) genesis and work your way through. it's fascinating, but above all, it's helpful.
it's where i've come from (and the prophecies tell where i'm going). win/win!

why do we do this to ourselves? what were we thinking and when will we learn to keep our mouths shut?
yesterday posed one such scenario to rhonda and i. our first thought (the offer) was correct, the subsequent questions are what threw me off. but, in answering those pesky questions, i am strengthened in our resolve to the original offer.

• we do this because we are Christ's servants. to serve people is to serve Him. we want to have within us His heart of compassion. we offered help because help is needed. if the offer is not accepted, we're not out anything, but at least we made an effort. if our offer is accepted, then we'll work as we are able as unto Him. this person is created in the image of God--she's not kept up that image very well with her choices, but still we know that under the crud of live is imago dei. as much as it depends on us, we will work to discover that and let her see it of herself.
• at first, i wasn't sure that we were thinking. the offer fell out of my mouth before i stopped to consider it. but actually, that encourages me upon deeper reflection. it came out so quickly because it is becoming second nature to me. (when it becomes my first nature--replacing my natural instincts--that'll be a day of rejoicing.) in truth, we didn't need to stop and think. we just need to do the will of God. i'm saying we approach this wrecklessly, for we have boundaries and saftey mechanisms in place. still, to pursue others for the sake of Christ is humbling. but with that humility, we know from experience, comes strength and empowerment to accomplish the task.
• i sometimes my mouth runs the opposite of what it should--open when i shouldn't speak, closed when i should speak. however, i am more deeply convinced, convicted and resolved that the offer of help is always appropriate whenever i am able. may i never shut my mouth to withold assistance; may i never shut my mouth from proclaiming the glory of God. and yet, may i never speak, lest they be the words of Christ. let me never sing, save for the glory of our Risen Lord.

Lord God, giver of life and sustainer of all things, we need so much from You in this endeavor. we need Your words--they are valuable for training, teaching, rebuking, chastizing and building up. we need Your words to teach, show, model and demonstrate True Love. we need Your wisdom to discern and sort through the lies. we need Your strength to withstand all the critism that may come; we need Your strength and sustenance to live from day to day. above all, we need Your grace--we need it for we are unworthy sinners and we need to so we can administer it to others that needs it as desperately as we do. thank You, Holy Father, for Your faithfulness even when we are not.

an old friend

this old song was found deep in the recesses of my memory banks and just struck a chord with me today. you may remember it; you may not remember it. and while the tune is dated, the words resound strong and true.

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow

I don't know about tomorrow;
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from its sunshine
For its skies may turn to grey.

I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said.
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

Every step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb;
Every burden's getting lighter,
Every cloud is silver-lined.

There the sun is always shining,
There no tear will dim the eye;
At the ending of the rainbow
Where the mountains touch the sky.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

I don't know about tomorrow;
It may bring me poverty.
But the one who feeds the sparrow,
Is the one who stands by me.

And the path that is my portion
May be through the flame or flood;
But His presence goes before me
And I'm covered with His blood.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

well, tomorrow's the big day--israel's tonsillectomy.
it's funny that he speaks of it so fluently, though he has no idea what it's all about.
"israel, do you want to help me bake a cake?"
"no, i think we should wait until after my tonsils are out."

i don't really have anything profound to say about it all, but it's what's on my mind today. there is a surrealism about never having had surgery myself (stitches once, but nothing major) and yet my son is having surgery.
maybe that's a good thing--i'm not so nervous because i don't know what to expect. on the other hand, the diversity of personal accounts of friends' tonsillectomies varies so greatly that, again, i don't know what to expect.
i know rhonda is a bit uneasy (not worried, she'll tell you). but she's got two strikes against her already: she's a mom and she's the "one in a million that will experience complications". the complications from her tonsillectomy are the reason doctors have to warn you about the possible complications!
here's an interesting tidbit: he'll be the first adamson EVER to have his tonsils removed. i have mine; my brother has his, as does his kids, our dad, etc. ain't that just plain special.
i feel like i'm babbling in my blog today. perhaps i am. maybe that's a sign that i am actually nervous about all of it. maybe i've just had too much coffee already.

God, like abraham and isaac, i lay my son before You. You gave him to us and we rely on You to guide the surgeons and help his little body to heal. we are fearfully and wonderfully made, i know that full well. set our minds at ease.

May, the Fourth, be with you.

a pat on the back sure feels good.
complients are very nice, too.
but, my favorite compliment is "thank you for opening my eyes to the truth of the Word."
that'll build you up and humble you down all in one sentence.

a pat on the back sure feels good.

complients are very nice, too.

but, my favorite compliment is "thank you for opening my eyes to the truth of the Word."

that'll build you up and humble you down all in one sentence.

Let’s start at the very beginning…a very good place to start. When you read you begin with ABC, so that’s where we want to start today.

A is for Adam. In fact, A is the first letter is nearly every known human alphabet because it is the first letter of the first name of the first man ever.

On the 6th day of creation, God formed Adam from the dust of the ground. Here’s a little tidbit that reinforces that point: the name “Adam” is not even a word in the original language of the Old Testament, Hebrew. But if you rearrange the letters in the Hebrew word for “ground”, it spells “Adam”. Adam was formed from the ground. The word picture created by the original language is that of a potter forming a masterpiece from clay.

Have you ever considered that man, and woman, are the only things in creation that God formed with his own hands? God is so powerful and strong that His very words were enough to bring things into existence. God spoke and this planet, with its unknowable mysteries and complex simplicities, came into being. God spoke and the sun, the moon, the stars, the planets and “only-He-knows-how-many” galaxies spontaneously existed. Water, Air, plants and all animals—except one—were spoken into being. That one is man.

God formed man with His very own hands. He formed the man in His own image. We are not made of the same stuff as God, but we have much in common with Him. If we consider that our purpose in this life is to let others see God in us, it makes sense doesn’t it, that we need to get rid of all the things that aren’t of God so that what we’re left with is the purest form humanly possible of the image of God.

It’s only my opinion, but I think God used His hands to form man because of the importance of touch. We are tactile beings; we like to touch things. Every parent knows that. If we’ve said it once, we’ve said it a million times, “Don’t touch that.” We connect with things because of touch. Newborn babies bond with their parents through the sensations of touch. Hugs, handshakes, kisses and cuddles are important, because they involve touch. God wanted man to have that bond with Him.

And as if God’s handiwork weren’t enough to make the creature special above all other created things, God blew his very own breath into the man. Donkeys, Giraffes, Walruses and Duck-Billed platypuses all breathed on their own because that is what God spoke them to do; but not man. We have within us, the very breath of God.

Well, back to the story…

God created the world and everything in it and said, “it is good”. But then, he formed Adam and said, “it is very good”. Then God placed the man in the garden center of this created world, specifically noting that man was in charge of all of it, responsible for all of it. The garden was for the man and the man for the garden. He would tend the garden, but he would be fed by the garden. Everything in the garden was his and yet, he, himself was of the garden, because he was formed from the soil.

Specifically, God gave man two to-do’s and one to-don’t. There were only three things that Adam had to remember. He didn’t have to remember his wife’s birthday, for he didn’t have one yet. He didn’t have to remember to pay the water bill, for there were four rivers running through the garden where the man lived. He didn’t have to remember to pick up his dirty socks, for he didn’t wear socks—in fact, he didn’t wear anything and didn’t feel any shame about it. Though I suppose if I was the only person on the planet, I might not be such a prude regarding public nudity.

For the first to-do, Adam was to name all the animals. This doesn’t seem like it’d be hard to cross off the list because there wasn’t a committee involved and there weren’t any groups like PETA to question the ethics of the animals’ treatment when given any particular name. And to make the task even easier to accomplish, Adam didn’t have to go find the animals to name them; God brought the animals to Adam.

The second directive was more involved, that is to say, more on-going. God told man to tend the garden where he lived. Essentially, Adam had to do yard work.

Some people love yard work, others do not; some of us don’t do much of it because of allergies. But, I can’t imagine that it was hard work. I mean, everything in this place was…well…perfect—exactly as God had created it. And figuring that even back then, God would not give more than could be handled, Adam was perfectly suited for the work he was given. And so, the point to be made is that man was not created to be idle or inactive or unproductive—neither in the physical realm, nor in the spiritual realm.

God gave Adam freedom—freedom to move about the garden as he willed, freedom to eat all the food in the garden, freedom to eat as much food as he wanted (how i wish i had that freedom). But, as we Americans are acutely aware, freedom comes with a boundary.

God spoke to the man and said, “You are free to eat from any plant in the garden, but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil”. There were thousands, millions, maybe even billions in abundance on the buffet, but only one tree of which he was not to eat. To don’t. Don’t do it. No exceptions, no provisions, no worst-case scenarios, no “but-what-ifs”, no wishy-washy moralities—only one absolute: do not eat of that tree.

Have you ever heard the expression, “didn’t know any better”? Adam fell into that category. He was living life to the fullest that he knew existed. And even though God is all that man needed, God knew the man would benefit from a helper. And among all the animals that God had created, no suitable helper could be found, so God formed another creature.
God gave Adam some anesthesia and performed a rib-ectomy closing that place with flesh. From that rib, Scripture says, He built a wo-man, so called because she came from man. And boy was she built!

I don’t know that Eve was necessarily the “perfect woman”, but I know she was perfectly suited for Adam. The original language gives us some beautiful word pictures of their relationship. It says they were “corresponding parts”; they “fit together”. She was taken from his side so to be by his side, a helper. She was to help do the to-do’s and help don’t the to-don’t.

Here’s another little tidbit that speaks to the man-woman relationship. In Genesis 1:27, there is a well-known phrase that says “in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them”. I don’t want to come across as crass, but this is true. The Hebrew words for “male” and “female” are not what we see in the text—a literal translation of the passage would better be rendered as, “in the image of God he created them; stick and crevice he created them”. Is there any question that we are created by God to enjoy sexuality within his plan?

Here’s where the story gets sticky and feels a little bit like Narnia. There was a serpent--a snake, but not just any snake, a talking snake. The woman was living up to her purpose, tending the garden alongside her mate when she hears a voice. “Did God really say you must not eat from any tree in the garden?” In the garden, there are seeds of doubt.

“We can eat from any tree, except God specifically mentioned not eating from that one. In fact, He said not to even touch it or we will die for sure.”

We need to clarify for the record that is not exactly what God said. God said, “Do not eat from it or you will die”. We have no written record that He said not to touch it. Eve added to the story. She made the to-don’t even stricter than God originally intended.

“You will not die”, the serpent lied. “God just doesn’t want you to eat because He knows if you do, you’ll have knowledge like Him.”

Have you considered that the serpent tempted Eve with truth? That is exactly why God didn’t want them to eat from that tree. The temptation seemed right and good because it enticed the woman to be “even more in the image of God”. How can something so good, so in-line with the basis of humanity be so bad?

It’s bad because it’s the only to-don’t. She was doing the to-dos: naming the animals and tending the garden at the side of her husband, but now she totally to-did the to-don’t. And then Adam totally to-did the to-don’t.

In the aftermath, there are all kinds of problems. I probably don’t need to tell them to you, because I’m pretty sure we’ve all done the same things:

• Hiding from God – “But the Lord God called to the man, ‘Where are you?’”.
  
• Masking the sin – “so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.”
  
• Shifting blame – “The woman gave it to me to eat.”
  
• Playing the victim– “The serpent deceived me.”
  

And then come the curses.

• The serpent, as a species, was cursed to crawl on the ground and to lick dust (ever seen a snakes tongue?); humanity will fear snakes and consequently be stepped upon and killed by humanity.
• The woman was cursed. Pain in childbirth and the whole “female thing” are products of the fall.
• The man was cursed, specifically mentioned because he listened to his wife instead of the Word of God. Now, men have to work harder to provide for their family. We have to remember that we were already created to work, but the curse of man is that it takes more work to get out of sin than to stay out of sin.

Who’s the innocent victim in all of this? It’s not us. Eve was the first, but she wasn’t the last; we have our own sins. The Bible says very clearly that planet earth and everything that touches it is cursed because of humanity’s choice.

Was it worth it?

old friend and a cadenza

i was blessed to pick up an old tradition of mine--coffee with a particular friend (name witheld to protect the curmudgeonly). we haven't met regularly in months, so it was particularly nice to pick up where we left off. sealing wax, cabbages nor kings ever came up in conversation, but we talked about many things.
his insight today deserves to be shared.
the topic of music came up, as it often did, and i was explaining the concept of cadenza. it's basically a place for a performer to have some spontaneous (or otherwise well-conceived and planned) musical renderings at particular points of a song. in the realm of concerto, the orchestra and conductor to know to wait for the soloist before contiuing on.
in his inquisitiveness, i realized he had a valid point when he compared classical cadenza to artist spotlight in a jam session. "you mean they just play whatever they want for a while?" yup, pretty much. there are guidelines, but essentially, you're in the composer's seat.
i know this friend to be a highly disciplined individual. he likes order and routine, but he noted and i pass it on to you now--"sometimes you just need to take a cadneza".
and it's true. sometimes you need to take a spontaneous me-moment.
too many cadenzas would distract from what was really being played. too few makes things overly formulaic and routine.
so, as springtime has hit our hometown, i say that this be declared national cadenza weekend. take a small moment and be spontaneous. don't overdo it; don't underdo it. enjoy life for God gave it to you. that's why it's called the 'present'.

oh God, let me never do that again.

i'm not really sure what i want to type today. in fact, i almost didn't write today.
i've been motivated to resume blogging semi-daily, but today i fought it. i wanted to write, but wasn't sure what to say. and, being a proponent of "silence is golden", i was about close the window and save insight for a new day. but, just i as i was about to click...i saw it.
it stares at me everyday in my office.
it is a formerly-sticky (the adhesive wore off long ago, so now it's got a pushpin in it) note with 5 words on it.
i wrote this note to my self quite a while ago after being challenged by one particular old codger. (i usually don't mind disagreeing with folks as long as we're on the same page, but i really wanted this guy out of the picture--i viewed him as poison to my flock). i've recited, quoted, called upon and dilberated about this a LOT over the years. the note simply asks: "bad heart or bad habit?"
this has become my standard of measurement for the goodness of man. i realize that i am not the judge. i don't claim that position, nor do i desire that position. but, the question forces me to look at the person through God's eyes.
God loves every person. they are His children, His creation. that doesn't mean He likes the way they act, or the things they say, or the habits they form, or the attitudes they display.
do i love them the say way?
back to the old codger...
i honestly think he viewed grumpiness as his spiritual gift. it's not on any list in scripture, but it might have been written in his margins. but i realized, through seeking answer to the question, that he did, in fact, have a good heart. he just had a bad habit of being grumpy. this definately, on the jared-scale, scored him higher than some sociopath that had bad habits fueled by their bad, ugly, unrepentently-sinful heart.
so, i thought that's what i'd write about today--the old codger, whom i am sure is now with the Lord.
except, as i was typing, i realized i needed to ask the question about myself. (i hate mirrors.).
more to come as i explore that question.

one passage, two revelations

during my freshman orientation (august 1992), i felt, for the first time ever that i can recall, the Word of God speak directly to me.

being a PK (preacher's kid, not promise keeper), i had spent a lot of time hearing the Word of God preached, recited, quoted, presented, blah, blah, blah and etc. but, never did i listen. the difference between hearing and listening is a much-debated topic, but you know what i'm saying: my ears were working, but my heart and mind weren't.

let me give you a bit of back-story. when i was in high school, i had normal teenage problems: feeling boundaries, body image, place in this world (crap, now i have that song in my head), what i'll be when i grow up, etc. in retrospect, i didn't have it any worse than anyone else. but in the moment, yeah, it pretty much sucked to be me.

which of course leads to "acting out". for me, the temptation was shoplifting. i perceived that we were too poor to have cool things, so appropriated items that i wanted. i justified it by telling myself that these were things God wanted me to have: predominantly, christian music CDs. oh, the irony. eventually, it came to a screeching halt. i was busted.

so, back to our regularly scheduled past-tense life event: college orientation.

i can honestly say i have never shoplifted since then. (i still face the temptation occasionally.) but, i really stuggled with guilt about the whole ordeal (and the months of participation leading up to the crash). i was enrolled in a Bible college, which officially makes me a thief and a hypocrite because these people were serious about the whole God-thing and i was just playing along. i couldn't possibly ever be as holy as these folks (and i mean the students, let alone the faculty). paul changed all that for me.

"not that i have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but i press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. brothers, i do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. but one thing i do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, i press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (emphasis mine)

as much as i hate cliche's, i found truth in learning life is a journey, not a destination. in that moment, i was forever changed (which again, i realize is very cliche-ish, though absolutely true).

the second revelation of this passage just came to me yesterday.

my loyal readers (i think there are two, neither of which is even my own mother) may not realize that i am the most insecure musician that i know. but, apparently i'm a really good actor because i hide it so well. well, in order to understand my second revelation, i must again dive into the past. i hope you don't mind.

every music major at ccu (when i was a student, it was cbc), is required to do a junior recital. a simple 25-30 minute demonstration of skills in the performer's field: voice, piano, etc. being the cocky, hot-shot musician that i was, i took it on full force. i picked pieces that i felt were deceptively difficult (meaning, they sounded harder and flashier than they actually were). it actually was quite a nice program. but, i didn't have the goods to deliver.

i had the dexterity to play the pieces and i had the musicianship to emote through the pieces. i did not have the rehearsal skills, the endurance nor the stickwithit to accomplish the task. i failed miserably, even to the point that a memory block gripped me and i played 'heart & soul' in the middle of a mozart sonata. i eventually recaptured my place and finished the piece, but it was a horrible, traumatic experience. i vowed i would never do it again and nearly gave up music entirely. it's been nearly 15 years since i even attempted anything like it.

but, in the past few years i've felt a nagging to resume this type of playing. i play piano a LOT through work at the church and other various endeavors. but, i don't play this way. there is a surreal conflict between nagging and baggage--the two camps (i can't vs. i want to) were waging a war in me. and unfortunately, for those years, my choice was not to decide between them, which ulitmatley gave victory to the baggage.

"not that i have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but i press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. brothers, i do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. but one thing i do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, i press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (emphasis mine)

the same words speak differently to me. i've come to realize (thanks, rory noland) that the baggage was a lack of self-confidence. but, really it wasn't self-confidence, i was lacking God-confidence. this is the confidence in knowing that i was created for a purpose. i am gifted and talented (the verb, not the adjected) with skills to be used for that purpose. i am empassioned about accomplishing that purpose. i am a musician--that's what God created me to be.

to deny my calling is to:

• deny the Diety of Christ
• deny His power to work through me
• deny His power to bring healing from past hurt
• deny my very dna

when God calls, He also gifts; when gifts, He also expects the gift to be opened and used! so, out of the frying pan of self-doubt into the fire of humility, hard work and hope renewed.

so, this nagging in me is winning against the baggage now and in january 2010, i resumed taking piano lessons. i don't know where this will take me. the sky is the limit, though there are some benchmarks that have presented themselves as appropriate steps to take for recovery. these are the goals to be reached.

one such goal was the competition i entered yesterday. the final results were in my favor, though the bigger victory was in the confirmation that God called me to be a musician. and those He calls...well, you just read that part 2 paragraphs above...but, those He calls, He also confirms the calling through His comfort. i felt His comfort at a level never experienced before. soli Deo gloria--to God alone be the glory!

i am speechless in your presence today, Father Creator. gratitude, humility, strength and courage, hope--the list goes on and overwhelms me. You are faithful. You are holy. You are all that i need.