fatherhood level 3

the third test of fatherhood was passed last night as our teenager got a cell phone. please pray for us all.

fatherhood level 2

i passed the second test of true fatherhood yesterday.
israel and i were traveling home on I-71 when i had to pull over because he was throwing up all over himself. he's fine and everything's been cleaned appropriately.
happy birthday to me.

blog block

as we approach the holidays, i realize that my thoughts have not been on blogging. it's not really blogging block for i have many ideas of which to write. but, it hasn't been a priority.
so, i'm going to declare a leave of absence from blogging. for between holiday plans and preparations and all the time it takes to get everything done, it's just not going to be a priority.
i hope you understand.
but, i promise to come back with lots of fun pictures of the family.

well, rhonda informed me today that i haven't been blogging enough. her exact words were that she "misses your blog." i told her the whys and why nots and whatevers, but she didn't fall for it.
so, normal people can stop reading now. this is just for rhonda.

rhonda, i love you. i have never regretted my decision to marry you. i know we have our stresses right now. some are normal to all couples and some are unique to us. but, we'll make it through. i'm not at all worried about our future (i just wish God would reveal the answers a bit sooner).
on the other hand, look at how we've been blessed--a cozy home from which to live our lives, 3 kids (for now) that love us in return and are exceptional in every way, an extended family, a church family and circle of friends that is beyond belief.
we are like minded in so many ways that it's frightening. despite our differences, i sometimes can't believe that there is a single person in this world that understands me (and loves me anyway).
without going into all the mushy metaphors and crap about flowers and sunshine, i know that we share a beautiful life together. you grow more and more beautiful in my eyes every day and your deepening faith in our Lord blesses me profoundly.

i can't believe it's been so long since i blogged. but, mark it up to lessons learned. i've determined that i won't be one of those dads that puts blogging above my kids. so, until i get a break to blog (and have adequate time to forumlate my thoughts and ramblings), you'll just have to wait for any inspiriation or deep thoughts that might accidentally flow from my brain through my fingers into cyberspace.

but, on a bright note, emmaus slept through the night last night, and in fact is still sleeping now almost 10 hours later!

what a wonderful world

i love my life.

first trick or treat

last year for israel's first halloween, we were at church for trunk and treat. but, that didn't come together this year. that means it was our first ever official trick-or-treat!
emmaus just went along for the ride, but was the cutest pony you've ever seen.
it didn't take israel long to figure out what we were doing. of course, he was a little bit shy. the little turkey never did say 'trick-or-treat'. just grab the candy they offered. he was always, i'm proud to say, prompt to say 'thank you'. when he says it, though, it's very cute (what would you expect?) for it sound a lot like 'taco'. rhonda got weepy.
then we drove to nanny & papaw's house who gave him cash for trick-or-treat. he didn't like that quite as much as the fruit snacks and peanut butter crackers. someday he will.
these links go to the photo album on facebook so you can see our horse and chicken.
one side note, as everyone knows, our kids are beautiful. but, it melts your heart when the folks in the neighborhood call everyone in their house to the door to see them because they are so sweet and innocent. particularly, people were excited to see 'the chicken' for they had heard he was so cute. i'm not making this stuff up.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=65660&l=30f2b&id=641188297

israel's feeling better
rhonda's feeling better
i feel like crap now.

it continues

israel's cold seems to be better. i think he transferred it to rhonda who is home sick today.
oh the joys of not being a hermit.

well, it's official--and it's hit like a hurricane--israel has his first cold. i'm talking about the kind that makes nyquil a household name (no we haven't given him that yet. he's sleeping OK without it). sniffling, sneezing, stuffy-head, aching, fever, etc.
he's so pitiful to watch with his runny nose and runny eyes (the truest symptom of an old-fashioned cold). but, my heart melts when he runs to get a tissue (although somehow, he pronounces it with three syllables tis-see-yooo). he'll not be a church today because of it, which saddens me too.
but, it reminds my of the lyric to a song a wrote several years ago. i still pray this prayer.

'til the fever breaks rest here in my arms
'til the fever breaks stay here beside me
God give you strength to fight this disease
God give me strength to care for your needs
'til the fever breaks find comfort in this:
i'll not leave your side 'til the fever breaks.

i'm blogging from home today. emmaus is at my side and israel is napping.
how cool is this?!

i'm blogging from home today. emmaus is at my side and israel is napping.

how cool is this?!

y'all are invited to join us at choir practice tonight. 7:30 pm in the worship center.

ups and downs

i've been experiencing a flood of ups and downs already this week. i won't go into all the details, but it's just been a whirlwind and rollercoaster (or maybe a rollercoaster IN a whirlwind). i know above all that God is faithful and true. i pray for an increased measure of self-discipline to get through that which depends on me. and i pray for a positive influence on those to whom i need to minister through the shared low times. http://www.lovelandstagecompany.org/SpecialEvents.htm

listening to voices

i've found myself this this week listening to well-intentioned voices.
please understand that i do not fault these folks for i feel that i know their heart and motives. they did not say anything wrong--in fact, their words were meant to be complimentary to me. they don't know of my struggle nor how their words affected me.
but, where i found myself was buying into an incomplete package. like a commercial seen too many times, i believed the claims to be the whole truth and not just part of the truth. (yes, that new car gets great mileage, but it is about as safe as anthrax.)
again, this was not the fault of my friends. nor was it inappropriate in any way to listen to what they were saying.
the problem is me. i put too much weight in an area that i KNEW was incomplete. i should have taken their words as encouragement to finish the journey, not as indication that i had arrived.
i am forming an opinion that this lack of self-discipline will be the downfall of my self, my nation and God's church. it is a scheme of the deceiver.

Precious Lord, guide me to where You want me. let me be a gracious recipient of encouragement and good will, kind words and actions. but, let me also have a discipline that brings me closer to You and instills in me the values and destiny You have laid out for me. teach me to avoid the temptation to rest easy when i know there is still work to be done. i pray also for our nations, especially in this time of political choice. and, for Your church, i pray deeply and ernestly that You would light the fire under us to get us making God-directed choices and not self-induced choices. free will is a double-edged sword; help us to use it as You direct.

reducing clutter

i know you're supposed to do this in the spring and not the autumn, but i'm cleaning my office. it needed it. i'm a fairly organized person, so everything was in its place and easily accessible. but now a lot of the non-essentials are being put into storage. that creates more usable space.
while it may be 'only an office', it strikes me as an important place of ministry and fellowship. my office is almost always open for you to come in and 'sit a spell'.
there's still a lot of stuff lying around, but you can still stop by. maybe once it's clean i'll bring in cookies and get a latte machine. then we'd be able to have some real fellowship.

(and one slightly sarcastic remark--to BPR--at least i can clean my own office)

so proud of her

last night was kara's school choir's fall concert. she's in the women's chorale (or some gender specific name like that). anyway, they did a great job. you know i'm easily pleased but hardly impressed--i was impressed.

so, 'congrats" to all the girls and 'thanks' to mrs. milthaler for all her hard work.

(this is one of her senior pix in the 'official' sing at kings shirt.)

i just can't believe it.

i know i write about this a lot, but it just comes to me more and more every day: i am amazingly blessed! if you read my blog often, you know that in the past few weeks i've been somewhat overwhelmed by everything going on in life. plus i'm pretty sure that i'll be diagnosed with election fatigue.
but, despite all of that, or maybe because of all of that, i realize how blessed i am. please understand that i am in no way claiming an easy life, a stress-free existence or the like. but, my perspective to face the challenges that we all face is so much clearer because of the way that God is revealing Himself to me right now.
i know that times are coming when i won't be able to see Him or feel Him or even sense Him nor His presence. i know that with all assurance. but, my prayer continues to be that because of these times, those times will be easier to bear and deal with because of His track record (perfect in every way).

don't you love it when God uses you despite yourself?

fall break

i had such a great afternoon today.
officially, i'm on fall break at the college, so that's what i did. i took a break to enjoy the fall.
the boys and i went for about a 90 minute walk around a nearby neighborhood. what a glorious day--perfect temperature, perfect sunshine, perfect smells of the season.
emmaus fell asleep and israel and i sang songs (his current favorite is 5 little monkeys jumpin' on the bed). i don't think he fell asleep, but he sure mellowed out and enjoyed the ride.
and then to top it off, i had a coupon for a free cup of coffee from kidd coffee. highlander grog on an autumn afternoon is hard to beat.
i'm not saying that i'm more blessed than you for i realize that we all had the same afternoon here in town. but, perhaps unlike you, i know Who deserves the praise for a glorious creation.

Father God, You are amazing. thank You for showing Yourself to me today in the simple pleasure of an afternoon walk.

too many things in my head

today i find it hard to blog.
i definately don't have writer's block--just the opposite. i have 'writer's-broken-dam-flooding-too-fast-too-write-it-all-down'. i guess some people would call this feeling stress. i really don't feel stressed. it's just taking time to sort through all of it.
i sort of feel like my computer when i ask it to do too many functions at once. it eventually it'll work through all of these requests. it just takes time.
in the mean time, i cuss the stupid thing, complaining that it's too slow. it's not slow, it's methodical. it is doing everything asked of it in the proper order.
so, as one supercilious t-shirt said, "i can only please so many people in one day. today isn't your day and tomorrow isn't looking good either."

an unwelcomed visitor

saturday was a day full of sweets at our house. (of course, the love flows freely, so all of them are my sweeties.)


but, as you know Christmas is coming quickly. that means we've begun the process of preparation for our annual open-house. this past weekend brought 3 flavors of fudge and 2 bon-bon-type of candies. the smell of chocolate was everywhere. and, having such great weather, we opened the windows and doors.


but, about 8:30 pm, we heard something strange on the back porch. that's not unusual as there are several neighborhood cats and about 9 deer that frequent our grazing space. in that we always like to point out the deer to israel (who calls them 'dogs'), we turned on the porch light to see what we could see.





it was not a cat...


it was not a deer...


it was not crazy uncle tony...

a mere 4 feet from our screen door...
staring at me through his darkened eyes...
licking his lips and twitching his nose for the smell of chocolate...

i believe...

i believe that my wife is an amazing woman, an excellent mother and caregiver and the best thing in my life on earth (save for salvation).

i believe...

i believe that when that day comes, there will be no second chances or rebuttals.

i believe...

i believe that there is a moment coming when grace will end and judgement will begin.
it is not ours to know that moment, but to be prepared for it.

i believe...

i believe that grace is available to all.
i believe that grace belongs to the repentant, forgiven.
i believe that sinners deserve shame, until they come to repentance and receive forgiveness.

grace is a free gift

for my entire life, i've been taught that grace is a gift freely given to all. it's true; i don't deny the truth of it. but, here's what i've come to realize: grace as a gift is like a washer and dryer for christmas. you're glad to have the set. you're excited by the possibilities. but, the simple truth is that you're in for a lot of hard work.
in the end, you come out looking better if you invest in the work it requires (just like grace).

it finally happened

so, it finally happened.
i became a real dad this week.
the last great and truest standard of rite of passage happened this week.
i had to take my kid to the ER.

everything is working out now, but of course, in the moment, it wasn't the experience i wanted. and of course, in retrospect, there are humorous elements. i share them with you now for you can probably relate.

so, all day sunday, emmaus was fussy. he didn't distract in church and most people would never have known. but, we saw it and thought it had to do with his reflux. we took all precautions and treatment options. he even had a quick trip to the chiropractor (which is a blessing to have one as a neighbor that is willing to open shop for 10 minutes on a sunday afternoon). he seemed to be relaxing a bit, so we brought him to the church picnic.
he was passed around quite a bit with many tidbits of matronly advice discussed over his fussiness. but, as these saintly women took turns trying to quiet him, they seemed to be doing the trick.
after the picnic, we went home and he wouldn't go to sleep; and, he wouldn't eat (now you know something is really wrong). of course, rhonda did everything she knew to do, but to no relief. the crying was escalating to screaming at times and their was no calming him down. we called the pediatrician's on-call doctor. they made the recommendation and we took off for the hospital. we decided that rhonda would stay home since israel & kara were both sleeping deeply by then.
we arrive at...(name withheld because i'm not sure i trust their medical prowess any longer)...around 1:30am. of course, the women nurses were immediately attentive to this adorable little baby. i'm not sure they cared he was crying as much as they were glad to have an opportunity to try and comfort him. i'm pretty sure the red-headed one ovulated right there in the waiting room.
as i'm filling out paperwork, etc. it comes out that his adoption is not yet finalized. that shot up the red flags! "we must call children's services and report this!" thank God that we had the forsight to bring along all of our placement documents. but, they insisted to try and call every number of the agency that i could possibly find in my cell phone (5 different numbers to be exact). in the end, they realized that our paper work was legit (they made copies of everything to cover their hinies) and we proceeded on in.
now, if i can take a moment here and interject something i noticed about the hospital staff. i would estimate that 85% of the hospital workers we encountered were severely overweight. granted, i'm a lot more sensitive to that these days. but, i'm not sure we should trust our health to people who can't seem to be trusted with their own health. also, the odor of cigarette smoke was on more than a few, and then confirmed when they spoke--it's easy to tell when they speak.
but, they were very friendly and seemed to be concerned about us both. it wasn't a busy night for them, so we quickly went back to be examined.
keep in mind, this entire time emmaus is crying.
finally someone comes in to get a medical history. which of course, in that he was just born in june, he doesn't really qualify as "history." they told us that so-and-so would be in soon. my ears perked up when they didn't announce them as "dr. so-and-so". and my supposition was correct when doogie howser walked in. he told me that he wasn't a doctor, but the doctor would confirm any findings. he listened to his heart and lungs and looked in his eyes and ears. "it's an ear infection." and he walked out. dr. somebody came in, looked only at emmaus's ears, and said, "yup, it's an ear infection." then he left. no discussion, no questions, no assurance that everything would be OK.
we were given a perscription and dismissed. i asked how quickly they perscription would provide relief. "oh, it won't for 5 days. just give him advil."
now, i can understand that the medicine takes 5 days for full effect, but for this poor baby to be in pain for 5 days is not really an option for something as minor as an ear ache. but, when the doctor speaks, i listened.
then began the odyssey of finding a 24-hour pharmacy. rhonda and i were on the cell phones and she's looking things up in the phone book and i'm starting to drive in some direction, hoping it's the right one. ironically, the pharmacy we found is literally across the street from our adoption agency! emmaus and i go in. he's still crying. we go to the pharmacy and begin the process to fill the perscription. she takes one look at our insurance card and says, "we don't take that any more." i vaguely remembered that, but as we don't go to walgreens for perscriptions anyway, it didn't cross my mind. i asked if she might know where the closest in our plan might be. "colrain and galbraith." that would have been another 30-45 minute drive for us and probably would have been more than an hour drive back to our home. so, to paraphrase a famous quote: "darn the insurance--full speed ahead!" we filled it there and paid full price.
they came the next adventure of finding advil, like the doctor told us to use. we discovered that they don't make infant advil. the pharmacist told us that infant motrin is the same thing. but, the label said it was for 6 months and older (emmaus is not yet 4 months). "oh no! you can't give him that. his liver isn't developed enough yet." she set us straight and we are using infant tylenol.
we finally made it home around 3:30am. i realize that this is a very short adventure as these things can go. but, of course, i was exhausted. so was emmaus. so was rhonda. kara and israel had no idea that anything happened (they do now). i stayed home with him monday and tuesday.
thank you to everyone who prayed for him. he is showing signs of improving, but the process is slow in a body so small.

disclaimer: i realize our story is no different than yours. we all have these moments. i'm not claiming that ours is worse or more severe than yours. i just needed to get it all out.

free clothes

some of you have noticed that i've lost some weight. yes, it was intentional; no, i'm not sick.
but, i've had to clean out my closet of clothes that are too big. it's a good feeling.

so, if anyone is in want of some new or gently used (a few are very used) men's clothes, just let me know. they're free.

men's shirts size: XL - long and short sleeved; button down and/or pull-overs, t-shirts
men's sweaters: XL
men's shorts: 38
men's pants: 38x32 or 38x34
a winter coat: XL

you know where to find me if you want some.

ps - this is not an issue of getting rid of it. i can take care of that. i'm just offering to my loyal readers first.

balance

i read a quote.
i can't remember who said it or the exact wording of it, but the jist of it is quite disturbing to me and i'm struggling to find the balance between the truth it holds and my way of life.
it goes something like this... "how sad is it when our prayers for needs of self grossly outweight our prayers for forgiveness."
the writer (or speaker if that was the case) recognizes how often we pray for physical things and not for spiritual things. i can see what he saw. whenever i hear 'prayer request', i immediately think about what that person 'needs'. these are legitimate concerns; real people, real problems. job searches are real. diseases like cancer are real. travel mercies are real.
but, how much more should we be praying, asking God for forgiveness?
how much more should we be bringing the names of lost friends to the Lord?
how much more should we focus our divine conversations on eternal things, not on temporal, fleshly things?
a lot more, i dare say.
that's my struggle: i agree 100% with the quote i read, but it goes against everything that well-intentioned prayer warriors have been telling me for the last 34 1/2 years. any prayer list i've ever seen or prayed over is almost exclusively about health concerns.
rare is the occasion that...well, you see what i mean.

got any thoughts on it? please let me know. i need wise counsel on this one. i'm really struggling with it.

the power is back on

our way of life is returning to "normal". we were without power for 36 hours and without phone for about 60 hours. with the exception of food prep and storage, i gotta say i didn't miss it much.
it's true that i couldn't check my email or facebook or blog. and i survived.

Lord, i feel like a failure right now. i feel inadequate, incapable, insufficient and out of touch. i don't think i can do it today.
my head knows that You empower me, love me, support me, qualify me; i can't find it in my heart today.
i need You.

choir practice

one of my goals for the choir rehearsals this season is to have a weekly devotional thought from scripture. it just made sense to me to have a small teaching moment along with the music we're doing. it maybe a scripture to help us understand a line we are singing or maybe it some general perspective on God's music.
last night was the latter.
i began by asking the simple question: why do we sing?
a few people broke into a refrain from "his eye is on the sparrow".
but, in the next few minutes (and it really was a brief time), we had a wonderful discussion on what we all agree is a command to sing. i was so pleased to hear the choir members going beyond the typical "i feel..." statements and really hitting the "the bible says..." statements. we are all entitled to our opinions, but unless our opinions are backed by scripture they are pointless and basically worthless. (as americans we have every right to be wrong.)
i also quoted the simple line from psalm 98:1. "sing to the Lord..."
that means we must! "should", "could", "might", "maybe", and "ought to" just don't cut it. the book of psalms (as well as the whole of scripture) is a to-do list, not a suggestion box.
there was a general consensus among us, that too much of the lack of participation in worship service music is because of ignorance of this command. the simple truths are often so simple that they get overlooked. the choir (and their fearless leader) have declared it to be our mission to help make it known through loving, teaching moments that we are all called to sing. even if we don't have an artistic penchant, we are still called to sing. that's the message we're called to deliver, and by God, we will!
ps - i love my choir!

musings on photography

i love pictures.
i think it's because of the memories attached to the photo. whether it be a picture of a person or an event, it always reminds me of that person or that time and place. it sparks me.
so, as of recently, i've come to greater appreciation of the art of photography. snap shots are great, but i'm amazed when a well-trained and talented individual captures something special. i don't know how they do it, but in a two-dimensional print, you can see depth.
and so it is with kara's senior pictures. we don't have them all in just yet, so i'm not going to post them (na-na boo boo). but, those of you who know kara well will be able to see an external showing of her internal beauty. i can't explain it, but once you experience it, you'll understand, too. she has been blessed to work with two amazing photographers for her senior picture project--one we know well as a friend, one we'll probably never see again.
but, for them both i thank the Lord for the artistry that shows us the beauty of kara.

Lord above, kara is so precious to me and i am blessed to have her in my life. thank You for showing me the beauty in Your creation of her. thank You for allowing her to rise above the limitations held for her for so long. we dedicate her life to You--use her as only You can.

pix links

http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=55898&l=74ce3&id=641188297
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=55900&l=5cc03&id=641188297
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=55901&l=7b6bb&id=641188297
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=55902&l=7f270&id=641188297
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=55903&l=1c9c9&id=641188297
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=55904&l=b651a&id=641188297

link to baby pix

http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=55556&l=22e04&id=641188297

a new understanding of the assembly

this past sunday we experienced something new.
it's something we've always secretly wanted, but were often afraid to admit that out loud.
i don't know if we'll ever experience it again, but while it lasted it was wonderful.

on sunday evening we were able to reunite with our youngest son's birthmother and her family. we met in a park and spent the biggest part of two hours together. we talked the entire time; we hugged a lot. we shared food together and listened to one of us complain about the blazing hot potato chips and the low-fat vegetable dip. it was a great day.
literally and figuratively, the sun was shining and the day was perfect.
everyone took turns holding the baby; his birthmother was able to take a turn to feed him.(which i certainly appreciated for it is my least favorite of the baby duties. in my book, it ranks up there with poopie.) i can honestly say that i have never seen emmaus so relaxed and calm. he didn't sleep nor nap, but was the essence of content. he smiled a lot at the 'crazy lady' (inside joke).
it made us realize that we are not only blessed by the birth of our son, but we are blessed to have crossed paths with this family. we have often wondered how we should label our relationship--are we friends? are we family? are we just two sheeps that passed in the night? whatever we are, we are bonded by our common ground of emmaus.

now, for the revelation of the situation.
we were all gathered (and there were more than a few of us there) because of the son. he is what brought us together; he is what holds us together. his presence is the basis for everything we say, do, think or experience together.
we talked about other things, but mostly our conversation was about the son. all of us talked about the ways that he has changed our lives. all of us talked about the hardships and struggles that have come about because he is in our lives. we covered so many topics in our conversations, but generally speaking, all of it revolved around and flowed out of our relationship to the son.
we have a shared life because of the son. we may not see them again for a while. we may never see them again. but, we are changed for the better because of it all.
i have a new understanding of the assembly now--the worship assembly, that is. we are called to gather in the name of the Son, Jesus Christ. He is what brings us together; He is what holds us together. His presence is the basis for everything we say, do, think or experience together. see where this is going?
you can take this analogy so much further, and believe me, in my mind, i have. but, for sake of time i won't write too much more of it here. as for the reunion i spoke of, it was like nothing i have ever experienced in my life. it was emotionally draining and uplifting at the same time. if it's something you have ever experienced, you know what i'm talking about; if you haven't (or can't because you have no experience with adoption) been in something like this, you'll never fully understand what i'm writing about.
but, i'm clearer on my responsibility as a worship leader now. it's not enough to just bring people together through a common language of music. as much as it depends on me, i must bring people together in the name of the Son. that's how we're called to gather and i must empower that. then, when that happens as often as we gather, we will never have to say to anyone around us "you can't understand what i'm talking about", for the invitation is open to all who will receive.

Jehovah-Jireh, my Provider, You have called me to be a father to this precious child. You have empowered me to accomplish the task. You have enpassioned me to work toward the goal. And, You have given me joy, pleasure and love in my relationship with emmaus. i cannot measure my gratitude, but Your Holy Spirit intercedes on my behalf to express what my human vocabulary cannot.
also, You have brought together two families from different places and different ways of life, but i praise You and thank You for the ways that we are able to share life together. even if we never learn how to label our relationship, we know how we are connected through the common bond we share in emmaus and in You. i ask You to bless the birthfamily. You know each one and their needs. please bring to them grace, healing and reliance on You. let them experience Your forgiveness, and no longer let them feel shame.
i am humbled more than ever in my calling to lead Your people to worship. i am so inadequate to the task, so i ask for a filling of Your Spirit. remove me from me; let me be only what Your Spirit makes me.
i need more and more of You in my life.

the summer is almost over, but the blessings continue to roll

so, for the record, let it be known: 2008 was the best summer of my life.
i'm not exaggerating at all. as i think back over the summer, i just realize again and again how blessed i was (am still) by everything. i'm not bragging or trying to inflate myself in any way. but as i wrote, i continually realize how good this season has been.
here are some highlights:

• ended as successful school year for me and kara and now are beginning a new school year. for kara, it's the big one--senior year. please pray for her as she works to make this year the best yet (academically, socially, vocationally and spiritually) and as she makes plans for the future (college, life choices, etc).
• an all-around great experience in community theater. beauty & the beast had a great cast of talented people who became food friends, had a great run of sold-out performances, a good foot in the door with a new group. and, we got to meet emma following one of the shows. please pray for future theater experiences that they will be ministry-motivated in my heart and not born of a desire for the spotlight. please pray for emma.
• the birth of emmaus. need i say more? please pray for our child. he is growing, but he has a calling on his life to be the reconciler of his generation. he definately needs the Lord's help to pull that off.
• almost 3 weeks off work (when emmaus arrived). please pray for the continued efforts of the worship arts ministry at lcc. it's a lot bigger than me--it is a team that i am priviledged and humbled to lead. great things are planned for the fall, but great plans required the work of a great God.
• the garden produced a lot of somethings and a little of other things. all-in-all, we were able to can and preserve many foods. please pray for our family that we continue to learn and grow (no pun intended) in this ancient and often forgotten art & science of home gardening and preserving. pray that we continue to be good stewards that work the land and enjoy the bountiful harvest the Lord brings.
• the weather has been wonderful--warm, almost hot, but not scorching nor oppressive like it can sometimes be in the 'nati. please pray for continued motivation in my own life to spend time outdoors with the various works that God calls me to do.
• rhonda's birthday extravaganza (which took about 5 months to plan and pull off) came off with only one small hitch. so, rhonda and kara have an IOU for that one small thing. we celebrated with friends and had rich memories of the time we spent together. pray for my wife. she needs a daily renewal of the Lord's Spirit in order to fulfill His calling for her. plus, life with me is never easy.
• i was convicted by the Spirit of God that i need to take better care of my body. i need to do everything in my power to ensure longevity of my own life to spend with my children (things might happen to me (disease, accident, etc), but i needed to begin making healthier choices). so, i have. that's why i started walking to and from work. please pray that i never move from under the conviction that we are called to care for our bodies. pray for my sense of self-discipline, but pray more strongly that i allow the Spirit of God to make choices for me.

i could go on and share specific stories of how we saw God's thumbprint on our summer, but you'll just have to ask me about them when you see me. my point is that many times, the calm comes before the storm. perhaps i'm in for a great storm soon. but, i believe the Bible tells us that God blesses and rewards the faithful. i hope my good fortune is a symptom of faithful living and not karma.

pix

instead of loading everything twice, here is a link to some pix in facebook.
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=53112&l=93318&id=641188297

feel good

it amazes me that as i work on my eating habits and exercise habits, how good i feel.

then, i am amazed because i didn't know i felt so bad--you don't know what you got 'til it's gone (or vice versa).


so, for those of you who continue to offer me rides home, i say 'thank you.' i really do appreciate the offer and am not lying when i tell you what i'm doing.


feeling good is a good feeling.

and now for some random pictures...

divided attention

so often, we are pulled in too many directions. that's not to say that being in pulled in many directions is bad. it's just that sometimes, we cross from many to too many.
so, i've learned...

• if you bite off more than you can chew, keep chewing. you'll be able to swallow eventually.
• if you've got too many sticks in the fire, let it burn a little longer and those sticks will be consumed.
• the journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step.

maybe those sound cliche', but the problem with cliches is that they are true. in fact, they are so true that's why they become cliche'.

i will also add this: the support of my wife and family serve me so well to sludge through and avoid further too manys. they keep things going if i need to let go of something important for something immediate. plus, i love spending time with them so much that i tend less and less to overbook myself. sure, there are things i miss (i turned down a great theater opportunity) doing, but that dissappointment is not nearly as great as the mountain of pleasure i get from family time.

i hope you can learn from what i've learned.

blessed

blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed blessed
know what i mean?

planetary alignment

i don't know if the planets aligned or not.
i'm not aware if there was a full moon that night.
i couldn't care less what the doctor's hair color was.
on this day, a few years back, my wife was born. and, while, i'm happy to celebrate her and her life with us and her presence and contributions to our lives, that's not the point of this blog entry today.

i'm here today to write about the great and amazing God we have!
the mind boggles when you consider the intricacy of His design and world in motion. two cells that are too small to be seen by our naked eye join together. even though they are very oppositional to each other, they work together to grow and multiply and become a person.
and even smaller than that, we think about the total sum of genetics and their influences on our lives are contained in those two cells (in fact, more information than that is stored when we consider the possibilities of dominant and recessive genes).
then, i'm astounded how the Lord created the human body to grow and develop and mature. which is a good thing, i think. imagine trying to push out a full-grown person!
but, when we realize that because God saw us and said "it is very good", we know that we are greater than the sum of our parts. and because we have greater potential than our physical limitations of time and space, we know that this world is not all there is--there is a better place, there is a better life, there is a better way.
once we consider how God, as a Master Orchestrator, creates interworkings and crossed-paths of immeasureable influences, we cannot fathom how He brings us to where we are. but, we know He does. (in the case of my wife, though she was not birthed from her mom, God knew how her adoption would come about. and, He knows and intimately loves the young woman who was not able to raise a child.)
it becomes uncomfortable when i consider all the things in life that might have led my wife or my self down different pathways. one split second of difference can make a tidal wave of possible different scenarios. visualize chaos theory but then increase the exponent, not by the nth degre, but by the infinity of diety.
and yet, the simplicity of our lives together assures me that i am blessed. when i realize what could have been--and i'm not trying to live in a shadow of regret--i realize how great it is to be me: right here, right now, living under the blessings of an Almighty Creator who is small enough to sleep in an obscure manger.

i love You, Lord. and, i lift my voice to worship You for working Your plan in my life. but, it's not my life--it's Your's. i am Yours--all that i am, all that i have, all that i aspire to be is because of You and for You. thank You for rhonda and her unimaginable light in my life. even though the calendar says it has only been a short time but human standards, i cannot remember my life before her and i don't want to try to imagine my life without. because she points me to You, i know she is from You.
and for the young woman who will never know the joy that the child she carried and birthed brings to me, i pray that wherever she is (i don't even know if she is still living) that You would bless her and thank her for me.

catch 22

isn't it interesting (please hear my sarcasm) that technology gets more and more involved and complicated so that we can think we are less and less busy and more and more connected. what a line of crap we've been given.

what i'm still being taught

it's not a quick lesson and then move on--we're talking serious life-change is involved in this lesson that God is trying to get through my thick head.
i still hate it.
i'm still fighting Him on it.
but, i will say i saw a small ray of light in one of those people i'm learning to rely upon.

thanks for the encouragement

if you're not attending lcc, you won't understand what i'm talking about. too bad for you.
i just want to thank everyone for the overwhelming amount of encouragment through this past month's sermon series. what i thought was a last ditch effort to include the seuss texts turned out to be a wonderful experience in the basics of storytelling for reader and audience. the reader thanks you for your kind words.
did you realize that story telling is the oldest art form known to humanity. even before cave paintings (and whatever you make of them), there was story. stories tell a history; stories give examples. stories inform and entertain. you think infomercials are a new concept? think again. and the fact that story telling, in its various forms, has remained so active tells us that it has amazing power.
much of our old testament came from stories that were handed down and then collected.
did you also realize that america is one of very few nations of the world where oral history is not considered accurate enough for the legal system? how sad. (i guess when we like to exaggerate the legend to fit our egos and then change the true history accounts to accomdate our lifestyles, i wouldn't trust us either.)
worship, according to the late bob webber, is acting out the story of Christ. too often our worship services are frowned upon if they are too rerun. but, the truth of repeated story is a major portion of the worship concept as outlined in God's Word.
so, back to us--i'm not equating my readings of seuss as anything other than what it is: a simple (though longer than usual) sermon illustration. but, it was fun to do and to show my cards from a different game (many people at church only know me as musician, not thespian). i'm glad you liked it.

You are the author and perfector of our faith. thank You for the stories--accurate and literal--that tell us or Your redeeming love for us and of the Christ Who expressed and demonstrated and redefined love for us all.

update on canning season

the meijer ad (sorry LJ, but that's where we shop) had canned tomatoes on sale for 5 for $5. at those prices, if you bought 48 cans (because if you remember, you'll need 2 cans per quart that you home-preserve), you'll still spend $35 more than if you did it yourself.

what i'm being taught

you'll note the title of this entry is 'what i'm being taught', but it's not 'what i'm learning right now.'
The Almighty Creator of the Universe is trying to teach me (in this chapter of life) humility and reliance on the Body of Christ (not on myself). once again, He's taking things out of my control.
i hate it and i'm fighting every step of the way.

it's canning time again

i'm so excited that our garden is finally starting to fill in with abundance. so far this summer, we've had a nice filling of our favorites, but the excess just hasn't been coming in--until now.

so, that means it's canning time again. we've done some small batches of things, but now that the tomatoes are starting to ripen, we're going to can some of them and our favorite canning product--salsa. (last year we canned about 5 gallons of homemade, hand-chopped, just-like-we-like it salsa. we have 3 cups left.)

so, if you have ever considered trying your hand at canning, then let me encourage you to try it. for a fairly small investment, you can start down a journey of great reward. plus, it's easy!
here's what i like about home canning:

• fun to do (while it's true that we get an obscene amount of pleasure from time in the kitchen, and we realize that's not 'normal', we're convinced that you'll find a good time with home canning as well.)
• easy to do
• fabulous flavors - you can buy canned products in the grocery store, but the flavor cannot be matched by a corporate farm. (i'm not against corporate farms; they have every right to produce a product and have consumers consume. but, vine-ripened, picked-by-hand tomatoes are far and above better quality and flavor than a machine-picked, mostly-underripe tomato.)
• healthier - there are no chemical preservatives. we do use small amounts of salt in canning some vegetables, but God made salt and man makes chemical preservatives. i'll go with God's product. besides, it is such a small amount that even low-sodium users will not be affected by it.
• longevity of garden. the produce lasts longer than the season.
• sense of accomplishment
• money saver - tomato plants were approximately $1.50 a piece. a box of twelve 1-quart jars with lids and rings is approximately $9.00 (i think it's less, but i haven't priced them this year). from one tomato plant, you'll probably be able to can all 12 quarts of plain tomaotes that can consequently be used in soups, sauces or any other recipes that calls for canned tomatoes. you might need to purchase (or borrow) some canning equipment, but i won't figure that into it. total: $10.50 for 12 quarts of quality tomatoes. now to compare: 24 large cans of tomatoes (roughly the same amount of volume as the 12 quarts) are about $2.49 per can. with tax included, that comes very close to $65.00. i think you can see what i'm saying about this. now, let's take it a step further to next year. those same twelve jars and rings can be reused again. you'll need to buy new lids for about $2.00 and you'll need a new tomato plant (unless you saved some seeds). so now, over two summers, you've spent under $13.00 dollars for 24 quarts of home-canned tomatoes; or, you've spent around $130.00 for store-bought tomatoes. basically, it means you are spending 900% more for less flavor. um, does the word 'duh' mean anything to you?

i'm not a soapbox preacher, i'm just a champion for common sense.

one last thing that i must confess. pickles are also fun to make, but they cost more to can than tomatoes, but not much. we're big pickle eaters, so it still saves us money.

oldie but goodie

i'm touched once again as i re-read this beloved old story. you simply can't go wrong with a classic. (but, just because something is old doesn't make it a classic.)

on one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus.
"teacher," he asked, "what must i do to inherit eternal life?"
"what is written in the law?" he replied. "how do you read
it?"
he answered: "'love the Lord your God with all your heart and
with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and,
'love your neighbor as yourself.'"
"you have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "do this and you
will live."
But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "and who is my
neighbor?"
in reply Jesus said: "a man was going down from jerusalem to
jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. they stripped him of his
clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. a priest happened
to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the
otehr side. so too, a levite, when he came to the place and saw him,
passed by on the other side. but a samaritan, as he traveled, came where
the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. he went to him and
bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. then he put the man on his
own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. the next day he took
out two silver coins and gave them to the inn-keeper. 'look after him,' he
said, 'and when i return, i will reimburse you for any extra expense you may
have.'
"which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell
into the hands of robbers?"
the expert in the law replied, 'the one who had mercy on
him."
Jesus told him, "go and do likewise."

i love you (pix)

you may not be able to tell, but this is israel's sign for "i love you." as many parents are doing, we're working to teach the boys some sign language (for communication skills develop before vocal skills). the "real" sign would have the pinky, index and thumb extended with the ring and middle fingers folded. it forms the sign-language letters I, L & Y--i love you. israel hasn't quite mastered the pinky yet (so, apparently, he can't hold a tea cup properly either), but we know what he's saying.

so, in a metaphorical sense, do we say "i love you" correctly?

of all the people to which you have or should say this phrase, are you doing it the best way to communicate what you are truly trying to say? a popular song of years past revolutionized relationships with the concept that we needed to be shown and not just told that we were loved. you can follow this a long ways.

but, more importantly, does the way we interact with God say that we love Him? so often we only love God when we need Him to fix something. we only love Him when we're in trouble. our actions say we love Him part of the time--the rest of the time is about us.

we know God loves us because He tells us and He did, in fact, define love for us. but, more than the defination, He is the living example.

love is patient - as demonstrated by His patience when we're being selfish.

love is kind - as demonstrated by not smiting us when we're being selfish.

this is just a simple blog-entry reminder to make "you" more important that "i" when you say 'i love you.'

on second thought, maybe my son has it better than i think. by not extending his pinky, he's taking the "i" out of it. at 16 months old, he's already demonstrating that love is about others, not ourselves.

Heavenly Father, i need to Spirit to intercede for me today. i ain't got the words to express what i'm feeling.

more pix

before or since the 4th of july, these brothers have never looked so much alike.
at the zoo. the giraffes were not nearly as interesting as the sparrow on the fence.
picnic at the zoo.
loves to play music (but doesn't seem to be singing along yet)
you've heard of it, now you've seen it--

playing by ear.

baby pix

i know it's been more than a week since i've written, but time alas, time flies when your wife goes back to work. it's been a busy week at our house, so on-line journaling was not the priority.

but, as many of you heard, the baby was diagnosed with reflux. it's funny to listen to rhonda tell of how the dr office melted into that realization. first, when rhonda went into the appointment, she brought it up to the physician, but the physician wasn't convinced. as rhonda continued to recount details of his symptoms, the physician went progressed with her:

• "maybe"
• "possibly"
• "probably"
• "definately"

why couldn't she just agree with us in the beginning? why do hypocondriacs ruin legitmate diagnosis for the rest of us?

anyway, he's got a new perscription and a new formula and a new attitude toward life. we are blessed to have found and been able to treat his condition. and now, we are blessed by a baby with a wonderful sense of peace about him.

and now, for the pix...

learning to grin

i know you can't seem anything except his arm, but he's in the pouch. if you look very closely, you'll notice that the bird is trying to lean in and kiss him.

family wrestling? no, just a pile of love on the living room floor.

he is doing so well holding his head up...

...but only for short periods of time.

i still have a swingset that needs to go.
you can have it for free or you can volunteer to help me cut it up into fish bait. please respond.
jadamson@lovedtolove.org

where?

don't you hate it when things are not where you thought they were?

• the scissors aren't in the proper drawer
• neither is the scotch tape
• someone moved my shoes
• where did i park my car
• or was it towed?
• my account balance is lower than i thought--what did i miss?
• i know that verse is in here somewhere...
• who moved my cheese?
• i was supposed to meet my kids at this door
• i finally have lost my marbles

fortunately, Jesus never moves. He never leaves nor forsakes. thank God for that.

o beautiful Christ, please always be where i need You and may i never need say to myself, "He's right where i left Him."

how to celebrate a holiday

the thought has crossed my mind about the diversity of ways in which people celebrate holidays. of course, america's independance day is tomorrow, so i'm sure that's the prompter of such wonderings.
as i contemplate the usual trappings of this particular holiday, i'm just not sure what they have to do with celebrating or understanding (or promoting) our independance. i'm not coming down on our national traditions. i just can't see what fireworks have to do with the land of the free and home of the dollar value menu.
perhaps it is to remind us of rockets and red glares. i could believe in that theory. but, sadly the war on terror reminds me more often of the price that has been paid and is being paid and will continue to be paid. i don't need combustable chemicals to do that. they are pretty to watch. i guess that justifies the 900 million dollars ($900,000,000.00) that americans spent last year on fireworks.
i could do similiar sarcasm with other holiday feats: picnics, parades, etc.
i freely confess that i am a product of america--land of the free and home of the homeless (check america's stats on homelessness and you'll be thankful for your run-down shack). but, because we've been free for so long, we really don't have a point of reference of not having freedom. sure, we watch the news, we hear stories from visiting missionaries, we see pictures of various places around the globe. but, we've never experienced a lack of freedom. i confess this is who i am. i am often unappreciative because i know no different. i am so blessed but don't know it.
ever take breathing for granted? probably every single one you take is taken for granted (until you don't have one to take).
ever take food for granted? well, when in a contest based on taking food, we'll certainly win. then, we'll take seconds, and thirds and we'll most likely win the miss congeni-gluttony award as well.
maybe i'm waisting your blog reading time. maybe i'm just full of hot air. maybe i'm right.
as with all my blogging, it is simply my thoughts, placed before you, for my own benefit of putting them down on paper (or pixels--whatever!).
but, it seems to me that more than ever, hoopla is not what we need.

finally baby pix

we've always heard that "you take tons of pix of the first kid, but not of the rest." we're finding that to be generally true. we were under the impression that it was true because the cuteness had worn off, in initial wonder had passed, etc. this is not true in our house. we're not taking as many pictures because with two of them under two, we can't get a free hand to work the camera.

emmaus, at a month old, has obvious needs that we attend to.

israel, at 15 months old, has the makings of a great worker. he always wants to help, but his help needs more supervision to prevent catastrophe. "let me share my toys by dropping a truck into the pack-n-play while the baby is sleeping." (he didn't actually do that, but he tried.) he likes to shake the bottles for us to mix formula. the problem is that he likes to take it out of baby's mouth to shake mid-feeding to the disgust of the baby. he's a big helper when he takes used diapers to the trash. but, too often he brings the diapers back (and then some) as if to say, "see? this is the diaper i put in the trash!"

are you like other people?

while in a staff meeting at church this week, the question came up, "do other churches do things this way?" we kicked around some ideas and theories, but the conversation moved on quickly and we didn't really give it another thought.
well, actually, i have given it another thought--and a third thought--and i think i might be about 3 degrees south of "consumed" by it. well, let me clarify that there is a lot of things on my plate right now and so i haven't given it tons of thought, but when my brain finds a spare minute, i've pondered the question.
it seems that deeper, broader questions are at the root. are we like other people? how do we compare ourselves? is there an ultimate standard for measuring the human condition? and in the realm of humans comparing, we go way back to cain & able (if not all the way back to thier parents).
here's what i've concluded so far (so you can compare your answers to mine)

• to the initial question, i don't think it matters if we are functioning like other churches. i fully believe we are functioning within the Spirit's will and with the Father's blessing. i believe strongly that we are abiding by Scripture and we are being blessed because of it. there are certain things in this life that just don't have to be exactly the same. that's the dynamic of teamwork. we all have different gifts in different proportions, so obviously, the dynamic is different. i compare it to marriage: rhonda and i have a system that works for us. we assume the biblical roles for husbands/fathers and wifes/mothers. but, within that framework, we have our gifts and passions and talents and skills that give us a balance within our home. it works for us. but, if john and jane doe tried to do things exactly like us, one of two things would happen: a divorce or a death (murder or suicide).
• but, at the same time, some comparisons, some standards need to be made. when we look to the example of Christ, we need to do more than recognize the standard, we need to live up to the standard. Christ was fully human (and fully divine) and He was sinless. therefore, we see a standard that a human can live sinlessly. i know that the Bible says "all have sinned", but that doesn't meen we have to stay in sin. we have free will and we can always choose the right things; we can always choose to not sin. we need this comparison--we need to compare ourselves to it and then work to bring ourselves us to it.

that's all i got for now. i'll keep pondering it as my mind has moments to ponder. if you have thoughts, post a comment. i'm sure this issue is far from over in my brain.

the advantage of a blog

so, since i can type anything i want (cross-reference I Corinthians 10:23), why not post a want ad/help needed? good idea, i think, but my "available" and my "help needed" are sort of the same thing, so i guess i need to preface it and then post the ad.

we have a swingset in our back yard that is functional, but in disrepair. i believe it to be fixable, but the skills and tools needed are beyond my limited collection for such matters. but, as such matters go, we need to get rid of it as it poses a hazard to the young age of our children. by the time they are ready for one, it might be beyond help. so, i have two options:

1. available to a good home: a swingset. you can have any or all of the pieces for free if you'll just get it out of our yard.
2. help wanted: i need someone with a sawzall that can help me disassemble and get rid of said swingset.

all inquiries can be directed to my email: jadamson@lovedtolove.org

to-do list

i'm sure we all have one in some form or another--a to-do list. maybe your is a set of personal goals to accomplish this week (like mowing the grass or dusting in the living room) or maybe it's a set of personal goals to accomplish before you die (like skydiving and eating raw oysters). maybe it's not a personal to-do list, but a honey-do list. all list of goals whether you set them or they are set for you apply here.
sometimes our lists seem easy and breezy. "i can get that done easily."
sometimes our lists seem too much to bear. "i'll never get that done."
personally, i'm not a list maker unless there are lots of details to account for. for example, for the christmas open house, we make a list because there are so many small things that need to happen or else we'll be unprepared. but, for the day-to-day stuff, i'm not so much with the lists.
well, i'm not so sure of where this blog entry is going. it's prompted by the fact that i'm a little overwhelmed by the amount of work that seems to need to be done this week. i've got the normal week's worth of work (plus that stupid exercise thing i confessed to all of you), plus a special project that will take me out of the office next week. that's double duty: prep for the project, but the extra work to be able to be out of the office for a week.
don't you feel frustrated when your to-do list doesn't align with, though depends upon another person's to-do list. i certainly do. i think that's part of my large list this week. my project for next week has been on the calendar since last july--that's right, a full year! and yet, the leader of the team gave me the materials just this past friday.
so, it comes to me that i'm just venting. sometimes that is helpful and cathartic; othertimes it's gossip. i checking myself, but i think i'm on the helpful side right now.

i need You, Wonderful Counselor, more today that ever before. while i suppose that is a true statement for everyday i am alive, i am overwhelmed today and i need a touch that will calm my soul. give me the diligence to get things done in an orderly and timely fashion. always keep my motives in check (am i honoring you in all things?) and, as the old prayer goes, grant me the serenity i need.
please bless my wife, my teenager, my older and younger sons. please keep the 3 women who bore my children in places of safety. forgive me for not more often bringing them by name before Your throne. i confess that i am all too often lacking in my gratitude to You for the blessings of my family. help me likewise to not be deficient in my duties to them as guide and guardian, provider, companion, lover, caretaker, disciplinarian and compassionate bulwark.
i lift to You Your church. i know of so many, yet so few of the total, needs and concerns, burdens of the hearts of this congregation. even if i tried, i could not name them all by name. i trust You to be present in each situation and to work Your will. i also ask that You listen to those closest to and involved with each situation to hear the desire of their hearts. take into consideration their honest expressions that they bring to You.
i pray for the leadership of this congregation: the elders and deacons, staff and ministry team leaders. possess them with Your Spirit this day and every day as they diligently work. i pray that the desire of each of these hearts if for true and authentic communion with You that leads to practical and tangible actions to be seen and applauded by all--not for their glory, but for Your alone; that is, let the results of our time with You be actions and attitudes that truly reflect us all back to You. You are might and faithful, Father, in all these requests.
i pray for my d-group. i thank You for their constant presence and encouragement in my life. i weep for the burdens we bear together and i am doubly blessed by the joys we share. though i cannot imagine that this is the fullest of Your plan for life together, but it's a good start and i know that it can only get better and better as You bless us and continue to give us glimpses of Your presence in our gatherings.
God, You are great--You are the definition of greatness; You are the epitome of greatness. in every way that the small human mind can conceive, You are more. i can't see it, but i know You are infinite. i love You.

life is hard

there is an old song (not old as "the history of western music" might be measured, but you know what i mean) that has a simple line "life is hard, but God is good."
i've been reminded of that simple truth this past weekend. no, there wasn't any particular tragedy or mishap that reminded me that life is hard. it wasn't because of my back/neck pain (which is doing much better - PTL) or because of stress. in fact, i had the kind of weekend that most people would consider a "life is good" kind of weekend.
but when i look at the blessings around me, i realize the ways God has brought me to them. my wife and i discussed the overwhelmedness (is that a word?) of the new life in our family. but, that overwhelmedness (it's working, so i'll keep it as a word) is cyclical: i'm overwhelmed by the extra effort, the extra expense, the extra responsibility, the extra work, etc--but then, i'm overwhelmed by the extra love in my life, the extra strength that God gives for the responsibility, the extra moments of rest that fit in a busy day to be able to stay rested.
maybe instead of cyclical as the image, it's more like a roulette wheel. things are spinning. we go back and forth very quickly between overwhelmed by the bad and then overwhelmed by the good and then back and forth again and again. life is hard to keep up with such a rapidly spinning wheel.
but, here's where i know that God is good: i have all confidence that He will work it out. He is working all things for our good. and so, even before the wheel started spinning (before emmaus came to us), He knew where the number would land; He knew that eventually, we will land and stop on the good and that the blessings will out outwit, outplay and outlast the stresses of it all. we will not survive this life, but by God's grace that's not the end. we hit the jackpot when we rely on God's goodness and when we are fully yielded to His will for us.
life IS hard--no one can question or deny that. but, God is good and that's enough.

(ps - for those who know and appreciate my weird sense of humor: in the roulette reference above, do you know the winning number? in our family, all bets are on the "black one")

oh the irony

so, i finally get brave enough to go public with my commitment to add exercise to my daily routine. i confess to the world wide web that i am walking to the office.
then, i wake up with the worst head-neck-back-and-hip pain i have ever had in my life. i don't just think i "slept on it wrong", i truly believe that my wife whacked me repeatedly with a louisville slugger whilst i slept. well, she would never do that, but it hurt that bad.
i actually watched the clock count-down the minutes and second until the chiropractor's office opened so i could call to come in. (for those who can relate--3 places out in my neck, 2 places out in my back, my right shoulder was out and my hip was out).
needless to say, i had to drive to work today--i'm in no condition to walk where there be not sidewalks.
(so, i might have to go shopping so i can walk around the mall to add exercise to my daily routine)

exercise

i hate to exercise. i have never been one who derives any pleasure from intentionally sweating. i see the benefit of it. i know the necessity of it.
but, here's an opposite look at it. i love to play games with friends--you, know the kind i mean: friendly competition of volleyball or softball (not basketball--too much skill required). if i could just surround myself with opportunities to play games, i would be increasing physical activity that could count as exercie.
my point is this: for those like me who don't want to exercise but need to, add physical activity to your regular routine. it's not about buying a treadmill or video of the latest-greatest. simply increase your activity within your already established circle.
so, i've started to walk to work again. i'll break out the bike again soon, but for now, i walk. i've started parking farther away from my destination. it's true that i can't walk every where, but i can walk within certain parameters.
also, instead of the big power tools of yard work, i'm taking the time to do things by hand. our garden is in the process of becoming weed-free. we're not using chemicals or power tools, we're using exercise for a double benefit.
maybe that's the concept i've come to grasp: exercise, though it has it's own reward, just doesn't reward me in the immediacy. "i can't see it, so what's the point?" however, when i walk to work because i had to be there anyway, i see the benefit. when the garden needs weeded anyway and i can bring my son with me to pull weeds (well, he just eats dirt and worms), but it's bonding time, weeding time and exercise.
it's more bang for my buck and less fat cells in my waist line.

ps - to 3 faithful friends who offered me a ride home on sunday afternoon, i say "thank you". you all had backseat space to spare, but i'm on a mission to live healthier and this is just one small improvement i can make. at the same time, it's good to know i've got friends.

back in the saddle again

well, to my loyal readers who have been so disappointed that i haven't been posting for a while, i tell you that i am back.
i took time off for the following reasons:

1. to collect my thoughts
2. to avoid blogging burnout
3. to free some time in my daily/weekly schedule in order to focus on other more urgent projects
4. to clear my head and heart while awaiting the arrival of Emmaus James

i think i have accomplished all of those goals and am now ready to return to my on-line journaling. it may be a fast return, it may be a slow return or it may never be the same again (though i've got a new photo subject that i'm just dying to start sharing with you).

but in the words of the immortal bard, joey tribbiani, who upon moving out from chandler's apartment said, "i thought it would be good to have time alone with my thoughts. but, you know, i don't have as many as you might think."

emmaus james video

our new baby

Emmaus James Adamson

June 3, 2008

6lb 3oz

20.5 inches long

still on pause

still on pause.
but, i think i'll be back soon. maybe in june (wink, wink).

on pause

i realize that it's been about a week since i've blogged--i've been out of town.
but, i think i'm going to be on pause for a little while (time undetermined) while i collect my thoughts. sorry for the incovenience.

preview video

how do you teach that?

i am convinced more and more that there is a key element missing from the cultural mindset in america. i suppose there are several ways to look at it or break it down, but the trend i am noticing is that people no longer can connect A to B.
"i just can't figure out why this happened to me."
"i don't know how to get there from here, so i'll just stay here."
maybe you've seen this to. it's not that people can't do the work before them; they just can't see why they need to do the work, so it doesn't get done.
i see this in many students.
"why did i fail your class?"
"you didn't do any homework. because of that you didn't have the necessary skills to score well on tests."
"but, i ran out of time to get it done."
"why? what happened?"
"well, i ..." and then the excuses begin to roll.
another major incident in our family follows suit. a person we know is struggling to find their place in the world. they don't understand why they aren't rich and successful. they don't understand why all their relationships are failures. they don't understand why they are always feeling sick.
and yet, we see it clearly. you aren't rich and successful (although still in their 20s) because you won't find a job and work for a living. your relationships are failures because they treat you the way you treat them. you are always feeling sick because you smoke a pack a day, you dip snuff and you eat nothing but fast food and beer.
how do you help these people? it's been a long understood principle that you can't help those that don't want help. my heart is filled with compassion, but my patience runs out because they don't want help. actually, it would be more accurate to say they don't see that they need help.
God created the system and He works within His own system (because He is perfectly just and holy). throughout scripture He says, "if you do this, I will bless you; if you do that, i will condemn you." the logic is clear. the experience of Christ never fails--He is completely accurate everytime.
to some of the blog readers, i write this: align your lives with Christ and things fall into place. an old saying tells us to "get under the spout where the blessings come out." if things aren't going right, it's probably a symptom that something in your life is misaligned. there's only been one record of any one named job. but, even in the midst of all his loss, he aligned himself with his Creator and was blessed the more richly for it.
to the rest of the readers, to those of whom my ramblings make no sense: i am praying for you to find peace.

Lord, increase my compassion; increase my patience. give me words to say and deeds to do that will help others see You and how You work in their lives. teach me to help where i can help and to be able to draw a line wherever it needs to be drawn and let me not become to quick to draw a line that shuts someone out of my life. i am blessed to have this understanding of Your Person and Character. as much as it depends on me, help me to do my part to impart this knowledge to those You bring into my lifepath.

after easter

God was praised through music at lcc unlike any time in recent years. God blessed the band and the singers and the congregation with an amazing excitment and energy for His glory.
so, why am i stuck on the very few negative comments?
it's an interesting dichotomy in church musicians/worship leaders that when things go right, we give glory to God for the gifts and blessings He has given. but, when things go wrong, we take it personally.
i'm not complaining. i'm just asking for God to strengthing me more and more in my personal journey and development as a worship leader--help me to be all things to all people. and, i'm asking him to strengthen my skin and soften my heart to be sensitive to the words that others speak. maybe they really are attacking me, but maybe they are reaching out to be heard.

Lord, bless our church and empower us as worshippers to be authentic and to bring you all that we are.

pix

i just love this picture of the boy leaving his first ever egg hunt.

revelation

i've never been one to stay current with a journal or diary. the best of intentions usually peter out by january 3. so, this blog thing seems like it's here to stay--especially since my hoards of adoring fan depend on it for their daily sustenance and spiritual guidance (i'm so full of it).
any way, having never been the one who journals regularly, it's been an interesting revelation to go back and read about things that were important to me on those particular days. it's sort of a autobiography in process. this is who i am and what i do; it represents me as well as anything, short of actually being me.
that leads me to the trend that i notice--i write more about my family than i do about the things God is teaching me. and while we are all called to love, nurture, care for and provide for our families, what does this say about my priorities? the best thing i can do for my family is to be living in the presence of God. if He's not speaking to me, it's probably because i'm not listening to Him--a whole separate issue that i'm accountable for.
please don't misread what i'm saying--i love my family dearly (and those 5 measly words cannot contain the full amount of love i have for them), but i love God more--or at lease i'm supposed to. Jesus drew the comparison of love of God and love of family. His words lead us to understand that the love for God should be so vast and great that the love of family pales and looks as pitiful as hate. we don't hate our families, but we love God that much more. am i doing that? am i expressing to Him? do i brag about Him as quickly as a post a picture of my baby?

Heavenly Father, thank You for Your patience. Your grace is much needed, especially in times when i need to refocus my blog writings.

musings on the weather

• rain, rain go away. come again another day--baby israel wants to have a birthday party.
• it's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring--nothing new here.
• doctor foster went to glo'ster, in a shower of rain; he stepped in a puddle, up to his middle, and never went there again--which would mean i could never leave nor enter my own home, there are these types of puddles everywhere!
• april showers bring may flowers; mayflowers bring pilgrims--so, what do march showers bring? more snow?
• one misty, moisty morning when cloudy was the weather--that's about everyday this week

traces of chocolate

this is proof that grammy gave him chocolate cake. he's remarkably clean, though. that is, until he got sleepy (from all the turkey) and started to rub his eyes and ears and hair.

helper or adventurer?

israel likes to "help" with household chores.

• he likes to help kara shut the dishwasher (whether it's fully loaded or not)


• he likes to vacuum (actually, it's hide and seek with the sweeper. he's not scared of it, but he giggles and runs from it)


• he likes to fold laundry (aka - pull it out of the basket and chew on it or throw it on the floor).


• now, as you can see, he likes to help wash the clothes. we just can't tell if he's a helper or adventurous!